Is it rude to ask for no kids?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is it okay to ask for no children at the wedding?
    Sure, no kids is okay. : (84 votes)
    94 %
    No, it's rude to exclude children. : (5 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    81 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @MittenZ:  No, it is not rude. It is your wedding.  Plan how you like!

    Post # 4
    58 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    @MittenZ:  We didn’t explicitly say we didn’t want children, but we only addressed the invites to the parents. It is a cocktail-style wedding so there is absolutely nothing for children to do, nor is it an appropriate environment. We don’t even have flower girls, or children IN the wedding.

    However, my fiance and I decided that if people ask (in case someone is unable to find a babysitter or something else), we would tell them it is fine to bring them, we just wouldn’t “promote” it, for lack of a better term. I would rather have parents bring their child than the whole family not show at all. If they ask and you truly don’t want them to bring their kids, just stress that is will be an adult drinking environment, and you’re concerned that it would not be appropriate, they’d be bored, or something along those lines. They SHOULD catch your drift. My wording was poor, but you know what I mean (:

    Post # 5
    564 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2016


    Nope it is not rude. Especially if you are throwing a more formal, adult-oriented event. For example if you were holding your reception at a children’s museum it would be odd not to invite children as opposed to holding your reception at a winery.


    1. The rule must apply to everyone equally. If you say no under 16s, you mean no under 16s. Not just the kids you like, or just your niece/nephew- no kids means no kids.

    2. You have to expect that some guests may decline your invitation.

    3. You must make it very clear. For example adressing envelops to the attendees only (Mr & Mrs Brown. Mr Smith & Ms White) and including numbers of guests on the RSVP would help too.


    Post # 7
    304 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    We had young kids at our wedding, but only because it was a casual affair. If we had had a more formal wedding, we probably would not have included kids. Most of our friends actually chose to get sitters because they wanted to be able to just enjoy the day and celebrate with us.

    Post # 9
    8680 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    We are having no children.. mainly because there are so few young children on my side of the family, and we don’t expect much of fi’s family to trek the 2500+ miles to our wedding.

    We have some friends who’s kids are AWFUL, they steal things all the time and just create a ruckus… i’d rather not have them there at all.


    Post # 10
    110 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @MittenZ:  if there are no family children and no children in the wedding and it’s an evening affair etc I think the no children thing would be easy.  If you have people with children travelling I would offer to help find sitters.

    We’re having kids because 90% of our guests are from out of town and they almost all have children, I can’t imagine asking them to travel and leave the kids behind.  Many of the children will be under the age of 1 at the wedding (which could be problematic, but at the same time, I really don’t care if a kid cries and I know my friends will get up and leave with said crying child).

    We’re going to have an area for children at the reception with games and colouring and they’re getting kid friendly favours as well to hopefully keep them amused.

    Post # 12
    42117 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @MittenZ:  It is not rude to not extend an invitation to children.

    The rude part would be stating who is not invited on the invitation. Invitations are sent to those who are invited, not those who aren’t.

    Address the invitation by name to those invited, indicate how many seats you are reserving on the rsvp card, then deal with anyone who writes in extra names.

    Sample wording:

    “I’m sorry, there must have been some misunderstanding. The invitation was for you and your husband. We are not able to accomodate extra people at the venue. I’m sure you will understand.”

    Post # 14
    6525 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @MittenZ:  we didnt have kids at our wedding. The only kids were the FG & RB

    i dont think its rude at all. And if i had kids, i would not be offended. Kids will be kids and Sometimes cranky. And i wouldnt want my child to ruin their ceremony or wedding bc they decided to throw  a fit or are tired.  i would take advantage of it. Its one night that we could enjoy with eachother.

    Post # 15
    1676 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    Firstly – congratulations!


    And in answer to your question – It’s not rude, but some people feel it is; so be ready for back lash. But I think its reasonable to ask for no children. It’s your day!


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