Post # 1
I’m getting married next year, and haven’t finalised my bridal party AT ALL – I’ve got 2 very good friends who will definitely be BMs, but they both live interstate. I haven’t officially asked them yet, but I know that they will come down to visit for dress fittings and ‘serious’ pre-wedding events. I will probably pick one more friend, but at this stage I’m really not sure who that will be.
I would like to start looking casually for some ideas – going to wedding expos, trying on some dresses for a preliminary idea, etc. Is it rude to invite a few friends to come along, when only one of them will end up being a BM? They’re all super keen to come with me – so I’m not asking a favour – but I don’t want to give them the impression that they will all be BMs and then disappoint them later.
Post # 3
I honestly would bring whoever you’d like. My best friend isn’t my bridesmaid only because she just had a baby, and really can’t be there for me the way i need her to be on the day. She would need to breast feed and settle bubs (my god daughter) rather than tend to me. She completely understands this. Saying that she is still coming with me to my dress fittings, etc.
Post # 4
Well, for me, i would only bring those who denifitely will be my maids to the wedding expos, or whatever related to the wedding. it will be a bad feeling if a friend takes part in all the pre-wedding events but doesn’t end up as a bridesmaid…
Post # 5
I don’t live in the same country as any of my bridesmaids, so in the end two of my good friends (who are not in the wedding) came with me to go dress shopping and to my fittings. I don’t think they thought it was rude because they aren’t in the wedding. If anything they were just excited because they got to see the dress before everyone else! (including my own Mom). If I hadn’t asked them, then I would have had to choose a dress on my own.
Post # 6
I only brought my maids to avoid hurt feelings if someone was expecting more.
Post # 7
bm or not, some girls just like everything wedding so i think if they are interested you should invite them.
Post # 8
@mypinkshoes: I second that! I would gladly go to wedding expos with anyone who asked, as long as I was at least invited to their wedding.
Post # 9
You can bring any one of them if they want to go. I didn’t bring anyone and I didn’t ask anyone to come with me and I know one of my bm’s wanted to go (she asked me why I didn’t ask her to go). I just didn’t want to plan my dress fitting around anyone else’s schedule or wait for anyone else (my mom and sisters I would have asked but they live too far away). Also, I was under the mentality that as long as they paid for their dress and shoes and showed up, I would be happy.
Post # 10
I only worry that your friends may think they’re bridesmaids if they go along. Can you say something like “I’m only having a really small wedding party but I’d love if we could do some stuff together.” That way if you do end up choosing them, they’ll be surprised but if you don’t, they’ll understand.
Post # 11
As the friend who attended both a wedding expo and wedding dress shopping and wasn’t asked to be a bridesmaid, although the other friend that went was (there were three of us, the bride, the bridesmaid and myself), I would be upfront about this so you don’t unintentional hurt one of your friends.
I was pretty bummed to find out she had only asked our other friend since both of us went with her but I wasn’t as hurt as I could’ve been because I was cautious and decided not to just assume I was a bridesmaid because she didn’t ask outright. It left me pretty confused during the few weeks between the dress shopping and my finding out, because sometimes I thought she was hinting that she was going to ask and sometimes it sounded like I wasn’t.