Is it rude to decline a shower?

posted 3 years ago in Parties
Post # 2
539 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Personal opinion,  if it’s a baby shower I’ll go simply because I love babies. If it’s a wedding shower, it depends on whether I get a better offer. But no, you shouldn’t feel guilty for not attending. It’s an invitation,  not a royal summons.

Post # 3
1362 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

Do you turn down shower invitations and invitations in general just because you’d rather be doing something else? Do you consciously decide which friendships you care to invest in? <br /><br />

Yes & yes.  I don’t allow myself to feel obligated to attend any kind of shower just beacuse I’m invited.

Post # 4
5935 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m going to assume if you were closer to these girls this wouldn’t be an issue. However, because they’re just acquiantances you don’t feel very compelled to go. I would probably feel the same way and don’t really see anything wrong with that. It’s not like they’re under the impression you’re their best friend or anything.

Post # 5
5248 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013


vanessa7:  I’m not going to my cousins bridal shower because she didnt think it was imporatant to attend my wedding therefore I dont think its imporatnt for me ot attend her shower

Post # 6
2428 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I don’t think it’s rude to decline when you’re not particularly close with them. A coworker invited me to her shower and wedding and I had only been at the company for a few months at that point. I went to the wedding because EVERYONE did (it’s a small office, only 10 of us), but I didn’t go to her shower. I did get her a gift though (but don’t feel obligated to do that either).

Post # 7
9525 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think you can totally RSVP no without guilt. It’s an invitation. Not a summons. I have been lucky that I’ve only been invited to showers of people I’m very close to, so I always accept. But if it was somebody I wasn’t close to or didn’t want to be close to? I’d decline without regrets!

Post # 8
3828 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

hell i declined my SIL’s shower invite because there is no why i feel like “showering” her with anything other than my fists. She didn’t feel the need to attend my engagement dinner because she had to “get her hair done” so to hell with that. Dont feel obligated to make time for people who wouldn’t make time for you. It doesn’t make you a bad person. 

Post # 9
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I would totally decline in those situations. Your life, your prioritites.

Post # 10
3222 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I happily RSVP no when it’s someone I’m not particularly close with.

I find showers where the whole neighbourhood is invited to be distasteful, and feel no guilt for declining. I also don’t send a gift unless it’s someone I’m close to, and I would have attended were it not for extenuating circumstances.

Finally, I also don’t see the point of a baby shower for baby #2. If they want to give friends the opportunity to meet the baby all at once, have a sip & see. 

Post # 11
1104 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I don’t think it’s rude. One, it’s optional. Also it means you have to buy another gift and travel (and for you for these it’s a bit aways). I’m inviting some OOT family to be polite, but wouldn’t expect them to come.

If it were a close friend of mine, I’d be disappointed but would understand as it’s optional.

I also think as a bride it’s not really fun to invite, say 50, but have 20 attend. However, there are perks to an intimate shower so it’s not all that bad either!

Post # 12
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

vanessa7:  It is never rude to politely decline an invitation. You don’t need to have an excuse. Just “I’m sorry I won’t be able to attend” will suffice.

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