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I am getting married Memorial Day weekend, beginnng of summer, i felt like it is a great way to kick of the summer, i originally wanted a June wedding but the church is all booked for June. Somebody told me that its very rude to do it on a holiday weekend because people go away, but i feel like its not really that big of a holiday, i cant change the date now because i already made the deposit and everything, and i actually love the fact that it falls on a holiday weekend, any words?
I personally wouldn't mind going to a wedding on a holiday weekend - especially that holiday weekend!
But I know a lot of people with cottages - 'open' their cottage that weekend and may be upset that they would have to choose!
But as long as you are ok with some guests deciding not to come and if you send out STDs then I am sure it will GREAT!
I think that holiday would be fine. If it were Christmas day or something i'd be a little more annoyed. I think you'll be okay, might even save you some money if people already booked a vacation.
Also, as your planning, a lot of people will tell you a lot of things they don't like that your doing. Just try to ignore them and enjoy your planning.
I actually prefer holiday weekend weddings, because it usually means I don't have to use up a day of vacation time from work to attend the wedding if travel is involved.
For people who think it's rude, I personally believe that they have no right to judge when and where the couple gets married. That is completely up to the couple, and if people cannot attend for whatever reason, just check "no" on your RSVP card and call it a day! No big deal. If Memorial Weekend is so special to them that they would rather not celebrate a wedding (which is fine, whatever), then they're under no obligation to attend, and will have a very valid reason ("Oh, we always spend the holiday with Grandma and Grandpa ... ").
I think the only one I would ever have a problem with is if it fell on actual Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, and it was not an immediate family member but only because that would mean I would have to choose the wedding over spending the day with family, and I would choose family.
We actually have a standing 4 day weekend on the coast that weekend with all of our friends...so yes. I think if a lot of us out of that group were invited to a wedding it would be a total bummer. Plus people think, IMO, that they're being cute having it on a Sunday which really puts a wrench in the holiday weekend.
Labor day weekend is another one that annoys me...a lot of friends thought that would be good.
Flights are usually more expensive around that time too...along with traffic being heavier.
I got irritated when I had to be away for a wedding over Thanksgiving, but Memorial Day? No way! That's such a fun summer's-almost-here type holiday. I think it's perfect for a wedding!
I'm with Miss Chapstick - holiday weekend weddings are so much kinder to my bank account because I don't have to use vacation time to attend.
If you're really worried about it, you might consider putting together a list of fun things to do, places to eat, sights to see, etc. in your town or city to include with your invitations. That way, your guests won't feel as though they can't get value for the trip or that your wedding is the only game in town.
Memorial Day is different for everyone. Some open cottages, some attend family gatherings, some go away entirely, etc. You might find that you'll get slightly more declines than a regular weekend, but it is what it is, right?
That's a great holiday for a wedding because then people probaly already have that Monday off, instead of some vacation day they might have to spend traveling. It's YOUR date, people are adults and can choose whether they want to go or not. You're not rude at all.
The only problem that I could think of is that flights/train tickets/etc, are more expensive on a holiday weekend, and traffic getting there will be exponentially worse. Besides that, as long as I got enough advance notice, I would be fine with it.
I don't think it's rude necessarily. Some people might be happy that they don't have to use vacation time to travel. I do know that some people have strong feelings about it, so you may have some people who aren't able to attend because of other plans. I think as long as you're okay with that, it's alright.
Our wedding date is set for the Friday before Labor Day (Sep. 03) and we've heard nothing but good things about it so far. I think having your wedding on a long weekend like that is nice for guests because it gives them an excuse of sorts to take a longer vacation that weekend AND it kicks the weekend off right by starting it with a great party!
I think people have very different opinions on this and no one is right or wrong. On one hand, it is great to do it this way because out-of-towners probably won't have to take a day off of work.
Personally I don't like holiday weekend weddings because I want my holiday weekends for myself to take a trip or just catch up on stuff around the house. That being said, I've been to several and I don't think it is RUDE to have them at all. :)
I think it'll always be 50/50 for liking/disliking holiday weekend weddings. Honestly, I was initially annoyed to have to go to a wedding this past Labor Day (all the way in Wisconsin, no less!) but it actually ended up being really fun. The weather was great. My fiance and I spent the whole weekend together (and there's nothing like traveling and navigating to really bring you closer together ^_^), enjoyed the wedding and wandered back to Iowa/Nebraska in a leisurely fashion, no rush because I didn't have to work on Monday and he didn't have class.
Traveling can be more expensive, so I would recommend sending out STDs nice and early if you do go for Memorial Day weekend so people have a head's up. ^_^
i prefer holiday weddings honestly (and the big holidays such as christmas, thanksgiving, etc) now the reason is because my wedding would probably be filled with more family than friends anyway.... and if you can't come then don't.... i think everyone forgets that there is always the option to rsvp no if it's that big of a deal. those that want to be there will defintiely be there for you.
I'm a holiday weekend bride. I'm doing Black Friday of next year. So far, I've not heard any complaints about it being on that day. I also feel that I aam being realistic, that I know some people can't or won't come because of the day. To my FI & I thats fine. We wanted to get married as close to our 'dating anniversary" as possible, so we picked the date that worked for us.
a couple of my friends got married the day after thanksgiving, and i was SUPER annoyed. the fact that they asked everyone to ditch their families seemed really rude, and they even got offended when people said they couldn't come because they were going out of town for thanksgiving.
so I guess it depends on the holiday. memorial day is harmless. thanksgiving or christmas (or really any holiday that you're supposed to spend with your loved ones) seems not-so-nice.
Well, I'm having a destination wedding this thanksgiving weekend! I'm not getting married on Thanksgiving, of course, but on the Saturday. The reason I planned it that way - I was actually trying to consider my guests. When we started discussing a destination wedding, many relatives recommended doing it at a time when kids were not in school. Plus, I figured no one would have to take up valuable vacation days from work. And you could still celebrate Thanksgiving at home if you wanted and fly out on Friday.
I probably wouldn't do it on an actual day of a holiday, but I don't think it's rude at all. If someone can't go, they can't go. There will always be someone who isn't happy about the date you choose or any other number of things, so at some point, you kind of just have to ignore it and go with what works for you : )
I don't think it's "rude" to have it on a holiday weekend. I would send your STDs earlier than you may have otherwise, though. I like to make my own plans over long weekends like that, yes, but if the wedding was somewhere I actually wanted to go, I would just make a mini-vacation out of it. If it wasn't or I already had plans (unless it was a BFF of mine or something), I would politely decline. It's your wedding and you can have it when you want to have it.
Yeah - the wedding I was at was definitely not planned well (on top of being a holiday) so it was an exception. There were no STD's sent out, so everyone had already made plans. They had the rehearsal thanksgiving night, and being in a major city (LA) it took us nearly 4 hours to get there because of traffic. The brides family all had to fly in from Minnesota and ended up paying $800+ for a single plane ticket because of the holiday. One of the bride's BM's had to drop out because of this.
When they got super angry/offended at people's "no" rsvps, it was the breaking point for me.
I think as long as you are very clear with your guests as to what is happening, it is totally fine. But it definitely takes extra planning, and flexibility.
@smepsi - I think the "rude" kicked in when the couple started throwing tantrums over all the "no" responses. Out of curiosity, would you have felt differently if they'd shrugged it off and just gone with the smaller headcount?
I think Memorial or Labor day are generally fine - yes a few people will be annoyed, but honestly that is the case no matter what. I think for weddings where a lot of people have to travel for them, it is actually a nice thing to have it on a long weekend. Possibly in weddings where everyone is local, it is less cool - because then you are keeping your guests from getting away and they don't really need that extra travel day....
I do think a few holidays are not a good idea - Thanksgiving and Christmas. Those are holidays where *most* people have family traditions and travel is super expensive. I was invited to a thanksgiving wedding and couldn't go because my family gets together in another state, so just going for the thanksgiving meal wasn't an option. The only thing that bothered me was that this bride didn't seem to understand that not every would be able to make it, and I think if you do it on a holiday weekend you need to be extra understanding of those that can't make it.
I don't think it's rude at all! However, I am probably biased because I am having my wedding on 4th of July (we are assuming most people will have Monday off since the 4th is a Sunday this year). We are having our wedding on a Sunday because FI is Jewish, and so far, we have only had one person who has said that she absolutely can not and will not break her plans to spend the holiday weekend in Maine. Which is fine. We will miss her and of course we would love to have her attend, but if she wants to make the choice to not attend our wedding, then that is her decision.
I think the people who really care about being there for you on your big day won't mind changing their "annual plans" in order to attend your wedding. I thought the suggestion to send out your STD's a little earlier so that people can plan to attend is a good idea.
@ teaandtoast - absolutely. it seemed absurd that they were asking all their guests to be flexible and put aside/move around holiday plans to attend the wedding, but they weren't being flexible or understanding at all on their end. they tried to guilt trip people into cancelling their family plans, and that killed me.
I definitely don't think it's rude, unless it's a holiday that people typically like to be with their families (christmas, thanksigiving, etc), but like hotchildinthecity said, it can be more expensive to travel if you have to book airfare. But definitely not rude, and for some possibly even easier due to their work schedule.
I heard this too, only online, but after I had set my Labor Day wedding plans.
Not a single person of all our family or friends said it was bad for them simply because it was a holiday weekend.
I've also been to a Fourth of July wedding (with a sparkler cake), a New Year's Eve wedding (with a countdown with a live band and a view of fireworks from the reception room) and two other Labor day weddings.
They were all great. The people who love you will be thrilled to be at your wedding.
I have to go to a wedding on 4th of July weekend next year which I am pretty upset about. It seems selfish to me as this holiday has a lot of traditions associated with it. Memorial Day - not so much tradition there. I'm sure some people take special trips but not that many. I wouldn't worry about it.
I wouldn't say "rude" IMO I think its perfectly fine :) The only thing you want to be aware of is that you may have more "no's" then you expected, due the fact that its a holiday weekend, but don't let it bother you!
just weigh the pros and cons - i don't think it's "rude", but it could be bothersome to some (though that holds true with any date, there will be someone that hates it). If all your key players can come, it's not so bad. Just keep in mind things about travel. I do a lot of traveling, so I know that those weekends mark up the flights so much that i wouldn't want to force everyone to buy inflated flights. We are having a DW and we gave people an idea of good flight $'s and advised to set alerts on websites. Good luck!
I think a Memorial Day weekend wedding is fine, as long as you give guests enough notice so that they haven't already made other holiday plans.
I wouldn't have a problem with a Memorial weekend wedding. And I think it'd be fun to go to a relative's wedding on any holiday, because we'd probably have a big family gathering anyway! A friend's wedding on a holiday would make the decision a little harder, because I'd be missing out on my family festivities.
I wouldn't say its rude, but I understand why people prefer weddings on non holiday weekends.
Yes, people tend to have a day of vacation on holiday weekends, but travel is usually much more expensive on a holiday weekend. And lots of people have regular holiday plans. So, this may affect your RSVP rate.
If you give your guests lots of fair warning and secure a deal at a local hotel, then you are being more considerate to your guests.
@smepsi - I hear you on the LA traffic, especially on Thanksgiving Day! - I'd have to say that it sounds like the bride and groom at the wedding were just kind of rude in general. I do think throwing a rehearsal dinner on thanksgiving wasn't fair to guests and being upset about people who couldn't make is annoying too.
I think if you decide to plan a holiday wedding, you should really do it knowing that some people won't be able to make it and accept that and be gracious about it. We sent out STDs months and months in advance, made hotel deals, etc. I think if you're open, your guests will be open to the idea (and when I say you, I mean the general you : )
I think you need to know your guests. We're getting married this Thanksgiving because its one less trip that out of town family has to make during the year, they'll already be in town.
Also, most of our friends moved away from where we grew up, but since they'll be home for Thanksgiving they have built in babysitters so they can spend the Saturday with grown ups for a while.
Do I have some friends/family who won't be able to make it? Sure, but you're going to have that no matter when you get married.
I will say that we were given the option to have our reception site at pretty much half off if we chose New Years Eve, and we nixed that immediately not wanting to dictate what people had to do with their New Years.
I'm getting married Labor Day weekend...so I'm right there with you. I don't think it's rude. To me it gives the guests an extra day or two with our families!
I don't think its rude. People have the choice to say yes or no to your invite, you're not forcing them, and for travelers its a definite bonus to have the extra time and maybe not have to take time off of work.
Our wedding is on New Years Eve, and most guests will have to drive about 2 hours to get to the wedding, but I haven't had any complaints, most people love that they have a party to go to that night, and since it is New Years Eve, everyone is super excited to get some fancy clothes to help us celebrate.
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