(Closed) Is it rude to leave a wedding right after dinner?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is it rude to leave a wedding immediately after dinner?
    Yes. : (182 votes)
    63 %
    No. : (79 votes)
    28 %
    Other. Please comment. : (26 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    651 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I think it is rude to leave right after dinner unless you are ill or have a kid that needs to go to bed or something. I really don’t understand why you would want to attend a wedding and not celebrate. In my family this means music and dancing and laughing the night away. 

    To give you an idea my grandmother turned 80 and we were kicked out of the venue at 2am because we were all still dancing, including my grandparents!

    Post # 4
    Member
    225 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I usually stick around for at least an hour or so (if not the whole night) after dinner but I do know that there are a magnitude of reasons people may leave on the earlier side (babysitter needs to get home, long drive home, not into dancing/drinking, may not know many people at the wedding/not very outgoing, etc.)  I’d never take it personally or assume they just wanted a free meal unless I had some other reason to believe so.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1866 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I think it would be rude to eat dinner and leave IMMEDIATELY after, but I also don’t feel like it would be rude if you left before the end of the night.

    Post # 6
    Member
    571 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I agree. It’s like they only came for the free food then jetted. Part of attending the reception is helping the bride and groom celebrate their union. This includes dancing, chatting with the couple and other guests, enjoying drinks, cake, and watching the first dance, bouquet toss, garter toss, and cake cutting.  If you just eat and leave you are not helping the couple celebrate at all. No excuse is ok, dining and dashing at a wedding reception is rude.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2849 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I think people should stay at least an hour after dinner. Usually things like the cake cutting and the bouquet toss happen later in the evening. I wouldn’t want to miss all of the important stuff.

    Post # 9
    Member
    7609 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I think it’s rude unless the guest has a good reason (unavoidable circumstances).  I would be upset if someone left my wedding reception right after dinner.

    Post # 10
    Member
    906 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    The weddings I’ve gone to we do not leave right after dinner, but we do leave around 10pm simply because FI isnt much of a dancer so we just sit there all night, so we go have dinner watch people dance and take a picture with the bride and groom and then leave after being there around 4 hours. Our wedding is supposed to end at 1am, I know most of my family will stay until it finishes, but lets see if I catch anyone leaving right after having dinner.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2638 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2006

    Hmm, I don’t think this is rude at all…

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    674 posts
    Busy bee

    Since you asked a different question in your post than your poll, I’ll add in a comment. I said it was not rude in the poll. If the intent is a free meal and you haven’t said squat to the bride and groom and skip out on a gift, then that is rude. But by the point, it’s not the leaving part that’s rude, it’s everything about the intent.

    It’s not ideal, either. However, I don’t think that there’s really much of an obligation for guests to stay for some predetermined period after dinner. If the schedule is that strict, then it sounds like there needs to be a program to convey that message the guests.

    We’ve been around until the very end of a wedding before, but we’ve also bowed out before things turned all party, too. As long as reasonable respect is paid to the host couple, then I don’t see any issue with leaving before the end.

    Post # 13
    Member
    190 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I don’t think it’s a likely or regular occurrence; there maybe a few people who had to leave because of unavoidable circumstances but it’s by no means popular. Consider all that goes into attending a wedding – get dressed, buy a gift, pay a sitter, drive to the venue. Who really wants to leave after an hour?

    Post # 15
    Member
    2775 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    I think it’s rude unless there’s a good reason (like you need to relieve the babysitter).  I don’t think you have to stay until the lights go up, but at least stay through the cake cutting.

    At my sister’s wedding, the groom’s entire extended family got up and left immediately after dinner.  No reason for it, except that they’re just not party people.  It was very noticeable, and we all thought it was pretty rude to dine and dash like that.

    Post # 16
    Member
    3978 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    It depends. Generally I’d stay at least for cake and the toasts which is after dinner at the weddings I’ve been to. I’d don’t feel any need to stay at someone’s wedding for 6 hours though. Some people just aren’t big on dancing and if the only thing there is to do is sit there and watch other people dance then yea, I see why people would want to leave.

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