Post # 1
Ok, my fiance and I have been engaged for well over a year now, but people who know this still refer to him as my ”boyfriend”. I never call him that, I usually say either fiance or call him by his name. Is it me or is this a little disrespectful? For example, my therapist knows I’m engaged, and she still insists on refering to him as my “boyfriend”! I feel weird to correct anyone about this because I’m afraid it will sound militant or OCD. But, as I said, it just feels really disrespectful, like they don’t take our relationship as an engaged couple seriously. I myself have known other engaged couples, and it would never enter my mind to refer to them as ” boyfriend and girlfriend”. Any advice? Should I let it go? Say something? And if so, what?
Post # 3
@Anna56: I find it annoying too..but I just ignore it.
Post # 4
Honestly, I would just let it go. Not everyone is going to remember that you are engaged, you engagement doesn’t mean as much to anyone else as it does to you.
Post # 5
@Anna56: Just correct them. He’s not your boyfriend – he’s your FI. Nothing wrong with pointing out the error.
Post # 6
Normally when someone says something like that, I’ll correct it when I answer their question. Ex: “How’s your boyfriend?” “My fiance is doing great!” or something like that.
Post # 7
Hmm, I can see how acquaintances would forget and say boyfriend, but I would not be pleased if a therapist made this mistake. Would make me think they are not really listening or not giving me their full attention. Hm.
Post # 8
@Anna56: I called my DH ‘boyfriend’ in conversations the entire time we were engaged. I had a ring, people figured it out. I find the word a bit pretentious. why does this upset you?
Post # 9
I just corrected them, nicely and let it go. unless it was my mom who for the longest time kept calling DH (then FI) my BF. She wasn’t trying to be rude or downgrade our relationship, she was just used to him being BF. We dated for 8 years, I get it’s a hard habit to break, but that didn’t stop me from giving her grief over it.
Post # 10
Maybe they haven’t gotten used to it yet. I don’t think they will be doing it on purpose. I would just ignore it or if it really bothers you politely correct them.
I still call my FI boyfriend and he calls me girlfriend just because that’s what we’re used to.
Post # 11
@edgebee: I’m the same way. He is my boyfriend until we get married. The word “fiance” kinda makes me cringe.
Post # 12
Before I got engaged, I never used the word fiance to refer to anyone because I thought it sounded “funny.” Like I always felt like I was pronouncing it wrong. Now I’ve figured it out (since I’ve been engaged for 1.5 years now) and finally feel comfortable enough to use the word. I wouldn’t infer any disrespectful intent–it’s an awkward word and kind of a mouthful!
Post # 13
I use the word “boyfriend” and “fiance” interchangably.
Sometimes people correct me… “My boyfriend and I went to blah blah…” “Don’t you mean your FIANCE?”… and I find that really rude and awkward. I actually had to start intentionally using the word “fiance” because one of my managers at work was having a serious shit fit about it.
Post # 14
Its not that big of a deal. I still call my FI boyfriend all the time, we know that were getting married its just a silly title.
Post # 15
@Anna56: It sounds like you’re trying to find a reason to be offended. Let it go!
Post # 16
Sometimes FI will slip up and call me his girlfriend – he feels really bad about it but I just laugh.