Post # 1
My cousin is getting married to a really lovely woman this summer. Her bridal shower is this weekend, and I wasn’t invited. I am definitely invited to the wedding – I got my invitation in the mail last week – but I’m assuming I wasn’t invited to the shower because I live a 10 hour drive away, and the hostess of the shower probably thought it would be gift-grabby to send me an invite when I obviously couldn’t make the shower. However, I am really happy and excited for them, and I would like to send the bride a shower gift in the mail… but I don’t want to do that if it’s rude, you know?
I guess I’m worried about it coming off as a passive-aggressive “gee thanks for not inviting me to the shower” sort of thing. (Which it really is not! I wouldn’t have been able to attend the shower even if I was invited, and I’m not miffed about the lack of invite AT ALL.) I keep worrying that it’s going to be like, that awkward moment when the girl you didn’t invite to your birthday party gives you a birthday gift anyway.
What do you think, Bees?
Post # 3
I don’t think there’s anything awkward about an unexpected gift. One of my Facebook friends (who I’m not that close to) looked up my registry and sent me a wedding gift and she wasn’t invited to the wedding. I thought it was the sweetest thing ever!
So, I say, send her the gift along with a little note expressing your excitement about her marriage and wishing her a lot of happiness.
Post # 4
I don’t think it’s rude or passive aggressive at all! I’m sure she will appreciate it. I didn’t invite my FSIL to my shower (she lives across the country) and she sent me a few things in the mail this past week – I was delighted!
Post # 5
Agree with the PPs…I have yet to meet a bride that didn’t enjoy a gift off her registry!! Regardless of shower attendance or not!
Post # 6
I also think it is a lovely idea! You seem like a very nice person 🙂 I agree with sending it with a little note.
Post # 7
Thanks guys! You convinced me – I just picked a gift off of their registry and had it shipped to the bride with a congratulatory note. (Ah, the wonders of internet shopping!)
Post # 8
I don’t think it has to be explicitly “for” the shower. Just send it with a note about how excited you are!