Post # 1
Email the pastor of the church I am getting married at and tell her that I would rather her husband officiate the ceremony than her?
I am worried that if we are married by a woman, the Catholic Church won’t accept it. (and FI’s family is Catholic)
Post # 3
**** her husband is also a pastor. I should probably have stated that in my OP
Post # 4
If you want a Catholic marriage, why aren’t you having a Catholic ceremony?
Post # 5
I would call your husband’s family church first and discuss it with them. If they say they won’t acknowledge it, then call and discuss that with her, and ask if there is anyway her husband could officiate.
Post # 7
@brandybelle: I might be mistaken about this, but I was raised Catholic and if memory serves me correctly the Catholic church doesn’t accept any marriage as valid unless it’s performed as a Catholic ceremony by a Catholic priest.
At least that’s how it used to be and if anyone knows any differently I would be interested in hearing. I’m no longer a practicing Catholic but a non-denominational Christian.
And I don’t think it would be rude to make your preference of officiant be known, but be cautious and polite with how you make the request. Also be prepared that he may have another obligation on that date.
Post # 8
@SpecialSundae: The reason we aren’t having a Catholic ceremony is because my family thinks all Catholics are sinners. Great way to start a marriage huh?
@Neetch: That is a good idea, only my inlaws don’t really have a set church. They bounce from church to church. Its really crazy.
Post # 9
@brandybelle: If your Fiance in Catholic, the church won’t accept any marriage you two have unless it is performed in the Catholic church.
You can, however, have it convalidated at a Catholic church at a later time, but it will be quite a process.
So, if that’s your only qualm with her, I wouldn’t worry about it.
Post # 10
If getting married in the Catholic church is impoartant to you how about having a small pre-ceremony in your church? You would officially be married in the Catholic church, then have the big public wedding later that day in whatever church you are planning too. I have heard of this done before, and although I thought it was a little odd at the time I would have to admit it is a great way of getting around potential problems.
I would have to agree with the other ladies. If you want the Catholic Church to recognize your marriage you have to get married in the Catholic Church. It doesn’t matter who marries you if you are going through a different church!
Post # 11
It doesn’t matter if a male or female marries you, if it is not within the Catholic Church they will not recognize it.
Post # 12
It doesn’t matter who marries you. If you’re not getting married in a Catholic church by a Catholic priest, your marriage will not be recognized by the Catholic church.
Post # 13
Thanks everyone. I am not going to worry about it then. I am hoping my childhood pastor will be able to marry me, but if not, then I will go with the female pastor. If it isn’t official by the Catholic church, then I think I’ll be okay, because at least it is in a church (which is the last thing my Fiance and I wanted for our wedding).
Post # 14
It doesn’t matter if the pastor marrying you is male or female; what matters is if you or your Fiance is Catholic. If one of you is Catholic that you must be married within a Catholic church by a priest or the Catholic church will not consider you to be married. If, however, neither of you are Catholic, then the church will recoganize your marriage. The only way the Catholic church will not recognize your marriage is if one or both of you are Catholic.