Post # 1
to have a back up brides maid?
I have my future SIL who wants to have another baby and needs medical "help" normally to do so, she’s agreed to wait until at least 1-3 months before the wedding to start trying because she’ doens’t want to be pregnant in the wedding – I could care less really, though the one different dress might make me nuts as I’m much to symetrical to handle it ….lol – I would survive of course beacause I love her so much.
But my MIL has suggested making my SIL a personal attendant and letting my other friend who will actually be the PA a bridesmaid just in case she’s pregnant
Did you follow all that?? LOL
I’m cool with the idea, but I would feel horrible not having my future SIL in my wedding photos and all that other stuff (she’s supposed to me my maitron of honor BTW) if she’s not pregnant at the time of the wedding….PLUS I don’t want my friend to feel horrible like a "last resort" bridesmaid….
HELP! My engagement party is tongiht and I was planning to ask my friend to be the PA at it, as the rest of the wedding party has already been named.
Post # 3
Maybe you could talk with your future SIL and see what she thinks?Â Tell her you really want her to be a part of your wedding, but ask if she has any concerns about being able to take on the role.
If she has any reservations whatsoever, maybe you could approach your friend and say you want her to be a PA, but there is a chance you might need her to step up and be a BM.Â I would definitely try to find the best wording to avoid it looking like a "last resort."
I think if you approach both people with this right at the beginning, then it will seem less like a last resort.Â If a couple months before your wedding you call your PA and say "Oh… by the way… I need you to be a BM" that might not be taken as well.Â Just be up front with her from the beginning.Â But talk to your future SIL first.
Post # 4
Yes I think it is horrifyingly rude to ask her to step down from her BM role to be a PA instead, just because she might be pregnant. I know you want everything perfect for your wedding and all symmetrical and whatever, but EVERYONE will understand that a pregnant woman needs to wear a maternity dress and it won’t matter if she’s not in exactly the same dress as everyone else! She will look cute, not non-matching, as a pregnant BM in the photos.
Post # 5
i don’t know if i would have someone agree on when to schedule to have another baby, just around my wedding.
one of my friends was a preggo bridesmaid, and it was very cute!
Post # 6
My sister had a pregnant bridesmaid in her wedding. At the time of the wedding the bridesmaid was 7 months and I don’t think it affected the wedding at all. She wore a slightly different dress in the same material and waddled down the aisle.
I say let your SIL decide if she wants to be in the wedding party. Personally I don’t see it as an issue being pregnant and a bridesmaid, Especially at 1 to 3 months. It’s not like you’re asking her to jump out of a plane or something health-hazardous.
Its your wedding party, If you don’t care about having a Pregnant bridesmaid then let her know.
Post # 7
I think having a pregnant bridesmaid is fine…. unless SHE has a problem with it. If she does, and decides not to be your MOH anymore, I wouldn’t have someone replace/fill in for her. It’s kind of insulting to them that they’re just a back-up.
If you’re SIL is pregnant and is still in the wedding but needs a slightly different dress, I really don’t think you should worry about it — I bet no one will notice. Everyone will be too busy looking at the bride to care!!!!
Post # 8
*Smartl (and everyone!)
Oh I must have explained wrong, I WOULD NEVER ask her to step down because she was pregnant – my question was if it would be rude to have a back up brides maid because the "possibly pregnant" MOH didn’t WANT to be in the wedding if she was that far along, she would be more comforatble elsewhere.
God I must have sounded like a retched you-know-what! SO sorry for the confusion!
We actually got i t all worked out, the MOH backed out because she’s planning to be much further along then expected by that time and hates being in front of crowds anyway. I have the girl who would have been my PA not a BM, and she never knew the difference as I hadn’t ever asked her to be the PA.
Thanks always gals for all your help, even if I explain wrong and make myself look like a idiot…lol
Post # 9
So glad it worked out and sorry I misunderstood. I did think it was awfully selfish the way I thought you meant it, but it sounds like the opposite is the case!! Also, sorry if I came across as kind of blunt. I am a very straightforward kind of person which people either love or hate about me, but sometimes it comes off a little more blunt in writing than in person… eek, I must work on that.
Post # 10
Hey really – no biggie!!! I’m the same way – if I was like that I would want you to tell me I was a major bitch. LOL! If I didn’t want real answers I shouldn’t ask the questions!
Thanks for understanding that I just type like an idiot, I’m not really 100% one! LOL