Is it supposed to be this tough selecting your 'maids…

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
7203 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@FoodieBride14:  Remember: good friends don’t have to be bridesmaids. I’d have sister and cousin, that’s it. And perhaps the two childhood friends, on the basis that they’re your oldest and best friends. The others can still come and be in photos and attend the bachelorette party.

Post # 4
Member
2381 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’d pick the ones that you’ve known the longest then.  The others can say a reading or poem??  or still say a speech

Post # 6
Member
1346 posts
Bumble bee

I’ve already decided I’m only having my best friend as a bm. Not even my sister. If my SO wants more than one gm, I don’t mind but I’m pretty sure he’ll just have his brother.

My best friend is really the only person besides my SO and myself who I would want to be there or I wouldn’t get married. Even if we elope she has to be there. We’ve been friends since we were toddlers and is more like my twin than best friend.

Post # 7
Member
1981 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I’m in a similar boat- I have many friends I am close to- sister and cousin, high school friends, college friends, and my law school wife (best friend in law school)- I want them all too- it was 14, but I think I can get it down to 10 or 12.  I have been in a lot of their weddings and I want to share my wedding with my girls!!  I am procrastinating officially asking BMs because I know its kinda a lot.  But if you have a lot of close friends, then I don’t know what else to do! At least your sister as MoH is easy!!

I guess you just have to ask yourself if you will regret not having them stand with you at the ceremony and be in your wedding photos? You can take photos with good friends at the reception, but the truth is you won’t have as many pictures if they are not in the bridal party.  Good luck!!

Post # 8
Member
1136 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@FoodieBride14:  I’m struggling with this too! But at the end of the day you should do what YOU want to do regardless of anyone elses feelings/opinions etc. If any of them are offended they weren’t made bridesmaids they probably didn’t deserve the role in the first place!

If you want 1 or 2 that’s fine.. if you want 10+ that’s fine too! There are no rules to this stuff, do what makes you happy!

Post # 9
Member
7203 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@HeartsandSparkles:  Why not just have your non-bridal-party girls in some of your wedding photos? After all family is not in the bridal party, and there are usually quite a few family photos. (In fact, to me, those photos are more important than the bridal party photos; and we certainly gave out more copies of family photos). So I don’t see why you can’t do the same with your friends. The photographer works for you and takes the photos you want.

Post # 10
Member
2546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I say have everyone… who cares if it’s too many? and just don’t have any junior bridesmaids

you can have two rooms to get changed and stuff so that it’s not chaotic

Post # 11
Member
7203 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@FoodieBride14:   “I truly want to have a huge wedding party… but I don’t want everyone there getting me ready

May I ask: why not? Because getting ready with you is part of being a bridemaid. Where do you intend to get ready – ceremony venue, hotel, your house, your parents’ house? Because if it’s at someone’s house, there’s probably a fair bit of room. (I got ready at my parents’ house (which was also my house) and there was lots of room. I only had 2 BMs but there was lots of family running around!)

Post # 12
Member
1981 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@paula1248:  Sure, you can do that.  But if you really want them to be your bridesmaids and have that honor, then I think you should go for it!  My dear friend to this day regrets not making one of her friends a bridesmaid- sure she was at all the pre-wedding events and she made sure the photographer got a special picture of them, but its not the same, IMO. 

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