Is it TACKY to….

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: bridesmaids paying for their dress is
    Tacky : (62 votes)
    9 %
    No problem/Expected : (632 votes)
    87 %
    Other, please post a response : (29 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    3777 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I’ve never had a bride pay for my dress (been a BM in 3 weddings). I didn’t pay for my BM dresses, either.

    Post # 4
    10384 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    It depends on where you live. In the USA, it’s standard for the bridesmaids to pay for their own dress. In the UK, the bride/groom pay for the dresses for them.

    Post # 5
    349 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2008

    I think it’s assumed that a BM will pay for her own gown, and if she can’t then that’s something that she’ll tell you when you first ask her to be in the wedding. I paid for 2 of my BMs dresses because they just couldn’t afford it and I really wanted them to be in the wedding party regardless, but the rest that could afford it paid for their own. 🙂

    Post # 6
    6448 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @crayfish:  +1 This really depends on location. I had never heard of a bride paying for the BM’s gowns until the Bee. However, I see a ton of bees on here that do pay for their BM’s gowns. Have you been in any weddings in your area? Perhaps talk to your BM’s about it.

    I have been in four weddings and bought my own dress. I  also didn’t buy my BM’s dresses.

    Post # 7
    7997 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    I think in some regions it’s customary for the bride to pay, but other places it’s expected that the BMs pay.

    In my personal opinion, I think the bride should pay. Realistically, most BM dresses are never worn again. Being a BM isn’t exactly a walk in the park, either. It’s like “oh great, I have to help you with the wedding AND pay to do it”.. like no thanks. I don’t know why some brides think that their friends are just dying to be BMs. In general, I think many people would rather not have to do it, and only do it out of obligation.

    At the very least, if a bride has her BMs pay, she should either pick a dress that can be worn again, or let her girls select a dress of their own choosing (still keeping within the color scheme etc.) so at least they can feel comfortable in it, and maybe wear it again.

    Post # 8
    1036 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    In north america most BM’s pay for their own. In europe, the bride and groom generally pay.

    Post # 9
    9859 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Where I am (and the 2 other provinces i’ve lived in) it’s expected that the BP pays for their own attire

    Post # 10
    9412 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @crayfish:  +1. I’m in Canada and I’ve never heard of a bride offering to pay for a dress (even my own bratty sister didn’t).

    Post # 11
    2419 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    It’s totally usual for the bride and groom to pay for their bridesmaids’ dresses in the UK. Especially if the BMs have very little choice in the dress. So over here it’s not tacky at all. Things are quite the other way round in the US though where it appears to be an expected expense of agreeing to be a BM.

    Post # 12
    1887 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @Principessa Bunny:  I have been a MOH once, bridesmaid 3 times, and was a flower girl 3 times as a child.  6/7 times I was repsonsible for covering my own gown costs.

    Post # 13
    1346 posts
    Bumble bee

    I think if you  have your bridesmaids wear ridiculous outfits- you should pay for them (like the Disney princess wedding).

    Otherwise they pay, just don’t pick a crazy expensive dress unless they all say they want to pay for it or you cover what they can’t.

    Post # 15
    873 posts
    Busy bee

    @canarydiamond:  I have to disagree with you. I have been in 3 weddings and I was thrilled to be in each one. I love being a bridesmaid for very close friends, getting to share in every aspect of the day is an honour to me.

    Post # 16
    6631 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I actually never heard of a bride paying for the BM’s dresses til the bee.  Midwest wise for the US. Very common for the BM’s to pay for their own. 

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