(Closed) Is it tacky to tell people where your'e registered if you decided to elope

posted 5 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I probably wouldn’t have done this. I’m not 100%, but I think only people who are invited to attend are asked to give a gift. Even if that’s not accurate, I would definitely not have sent anything in the card itself, much less a text.

 

Post # 4
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee

@rozzy:  probably. I think if you elope you don’t register. hmmm I personally would not be offended but you would not have gotten a gift either.

Post # 5
Member
2098 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I wouldn’t have given registry information unless I was specifically asked…elopement or not. 

Post # 6
Member
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Sorry to say…but I think yes.  It is perfectly fine to tell people IF they ask you about a registry but since there was no wedding and reception I wouldn’t be expecting gifts. 

Post # 7
Member
8697 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I wouldnt send you a gift. I probably wouldnt have registered for gifts either. However, you already did it so I dont think it matters at this point. I think a lot of bees will tell you it is “tacky.” Some will say it isnt. 

Post # 8
Member
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

I wouln’t have done this.  I also wouldn’t have had a registry if we eloped.  I guess you know your group of people best though.

Post # 9
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Yes, I do think it was tacky – even if you hadn’t eloped, but especially because you did. But what’s done is done. It’s fine to tell someone if they ask, not proactively send it out to them.

Post # 11
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Yes, this would rub me the wrong way. I don’t know the etiquette of eloping, but to me, if you make the choice to elope, you also forfeit the right to a registry or the ability to ask for gifts in any way. I think I’d feel a bit miffed, and it may make your loved ones feel as though they weren’t good enough to warrant being included in your marriage or celebration, but now they’re good enough to buy you something for it or give you money. 

Post # 12
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I don’t want to be “rude and tacky” by answering this, but you asked… I don’t think anyone should ask for a gift, for any reason, from any one.  If they intended on buying you a gift, they would, without being “reminded.”  I think a good rule of thumb for the future is that if you need to ask whether something is rude, just don’t do it.

Post # 13
Member
4436 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

If you elope, you don’t register! We’re having a DW, and not registering for that either. Sorry- I’d find it kind of rude if I received a message about registry for elopement. 

Post # 14
Member
7240 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

My best friend is eloping, but having a reception, so she registered. If you didn’t have any sort of celebration, I don’t think you should be telling people where you’re registered unless they asked. It’s sort of like it being your birthday, you decide not to have a party but still text people telling them what gift to buy you. 

Post # 16
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Funny thing about weddings and our culture as a whole nowadays… Nothing is written in stone anymore. We are able to build anything we want now, and step on the toes of tradition.

It really comes down to who you are and how the people you deal with, will recieve it. If you are from a family who knows you are just starting out and would really want to help get you on your feet, and you know that they would receive it in the right spirit, don’t sweat it. They would want to get things that they’ll know you want.

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