Post # 1
I have a question that I was hoping I could get everyone’s opinion on. My boyfriend and I have been together since the middle of March and we are madly in love with one another. We just found out that after a long job search that my guy is finally moving into the same neighborhood as me! (we currently live two hours away from one another and see each other on the weekends). The only catch to this job is that he is going to have to go to a three month training in Fort Worth, TX in order to get certified on everything that he is going to have to do at his new job (he is a Mechanical Engineer). Since he will be leaving in January, we have discussed him proposing to me in December either on my birthday or around Christmas. We’re both ready to be engaged, now have the funds for a ring, and I think the excitement of a proposal will help us both out emotionally while he is away. We both want to get married in October 2017, so since we are going to have a long engagement do you all think it would be socially acceptable if got engaged so quickly? We will both be 25 and together for 9 months once the proposal comes around. I am an extemely practical person, but I knew the day I met him that he was the guy that I was going to marry and we both want the engagement to happen before he leaves town. Thanks for all the help! 🙂
Post # 2
My best advice is: Do what you do. Don’t let the fact that something is or isn’t “socially acceptable” sway your decisions.
Post # 3
LER1204: It is never too early. My SIL and brother were married just 4 months after being together, and there was not engagement in between. Trust me, no one thought it would last, so let that be a warning with family and friends. But 12 years later they are happily married and have twin boys.
On my end, I was with my FI for 11 years before he proposed.
So it is not too early. If you both feel that this is the right thing to do then do it!
Post # 4
LER1204: I got engaged just before we had to be apart for a little while and found it made it harder. We were both so excited about being engaged that it made it hard to not just keep my head down and power through. Also a lot of people had ideas and questions about the wedding and because we weren’t together we’d not really discussed it in a lot of detail so it made all the questions hard to deal with. Obviously this was just my experience and other people may have more positive experiences of being separated just after a proposal but I didn’t enjoy it
Post # 5
LER1204: It’s whatever you feel. It’s true you haven’t been together that long and you’ve only seen eachother on the weekends during the time you’ve been together, so objectively speaking it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to get married soon. But since you are planning a long engagement, during which if things go south, you can still get out, I would way whatever you feel is right is what is right. I would think it would be very difficult though to start an engagement with 3 month away from eachother, as a PP said. If I were you, I’d probably want to wait until after the 3 months, that way you can be happy and excited together and maybe move in together at though point or something, but that’s just me.
Post # 6
LER1204: If you care about what’s socially acceptable, then yes, it’s too early.
Post # 7
LER1204: I think it’s a little soon personally but really, you’re 25 and you can do what you want.
However I would personally prefer to get engaged when he comes back from training. I wouldn’t want to spend the first three months of our engagement apart 🙁
Post # 8
Every relationship is different. Some people date for years before engagement and end up in diforce where people like my grandparents dated for 2 months before they got married and were married for 60+ years and were madly in love for all of it. I’ve been with SO since January and we are getting engaged soon. I knew he was the one from the beginning. Our relationship just progressed differently than others. And believe it or not, that’s OKAY! Follow your heart and gut because at the end of the day it’s your relationship and other people may have opinions but that’s just the nature of any kind of big life decision. Goodluck with everything, I’m sure you’ll figure it all out 🙂
Post # 9
If it’s right for you, do it!
In my experience, people will always find something to criticise anyway so if it’s not this it’ll be something else you didn’t do ‘right’!
Post # 10
It’s a bit early for me personally. However, I feel you should wait until he comes back before getting engaged and here’s why:
1) You’ll be really excited and giddy and want to talk about the engagement with your FI (even though it’s a long engagement) and he won’t be there in person
2) People will want to take you two out to dinner soon after the engagement and your FI won’t really be around. If he is, there will be a big time crunch to squeeze in all the dinners and celebrations before he heads out. Once he gets back, people may not be as excited about the engagement since it occurred a few months beforehand. Don’t get me wrong, they’re happy for you, but it’s a lot more exciting when something is more recent. Do you know what I mean?
Post # 11
- Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast
I’d wait. Long distance tests the relationship and especially since you haven’t been together long, i’d want to wait until after he was back.
Post # 12
Personally, I think it sounds way too early. It’s only been a few months, and during this time, you’ve lived 2 hours away from each other? And will be away for 3 months again very soon? I’d at least spend some time in the same city and really part of each others day to day lives before getting engaged.
Post # 13
To me, it sounds way too early. While engagement isn’t as permanent as marriage, and marriage itself isn’t even permanent for some people, engagement is a much bigger commitment than just dating exclusively, and when there is a firm commitment, people are a lot less likely to walk away even if it’s clear that they are no longer right for each other. You’ve been together for all of 6 or 7 months; you are still in the highly hormonal, addictive phase of love, and while that is a super fun time of any relationship, the true test of the relationship is going to come when those hormones and excitement wear off.
Post # 14
LER1204: Don’t let others ideas/opinions, dictate what you would like to see happen. What you 2 think is short or long, is different from what someone else may think is short or long. You 2 make that decision for yourselves.
Oh… And my FI and I were engaged after 8 months of dating. When you know… You know..
Best of Luck!!
Post # 15
My fiance and I got engaged pretty quickly. officially started dating it September, moved in together in November, and engaged in April.
No one except his parents were surprised or said anything negative. It’s what was right for us and we are happy so that’s all that matters 🙂