Is it too early to get engaged?

posted 2 years ago in Proposals
Post # 2
2551 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

My best advice is: Do what you do.  Don’t let the fact that something is or isn’t “socially acceptable” sway your decisions.

Post # 3
308 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

LER1204:  It is never too early. My SIL and brother were married just 4 months after being together, and there was not engagement in between. Trust me, no one thought it would last, so let that be a warning with family and friends. But 12 years later they are happily married and have twin boys.

On my end, I was with my FI for 11 years before he proposed.

So it is not too early. If you both feel that this is the right thing to do then do it!

Post # 4
1116 posts
Bumble bee

LER1204:  I got engaged just before we had to be apart for a little while and found it made it harder. We were both so excited about being engaged that it made it hard to not just keep my head down and power through.  Also a lot of people had ideas and questions about the wedding and because we weren’t together we’d not really discussed it in a lot of detail so it made all the questions hard to deal with.  Obviously this was just my experience and other people may have more positive experiences of  being separated just after a proposal but I didn’t enjoy it

Post # 5
3505 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

LER1204:  It’s whatever you feel. It’s true you haven’t been together that long and you’ve only seen eachother on the weekends during the time you’ve been together, so objectively speaking it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to get married soon. But since you are planning a long engagement, during which if things go south, you can still get out, I would way whatever you feel is right is what is right. I would think it would be very difficult though to start an engagement with 3 month away from eachother, as a PP said. If I were you, I’d probably want to wait until after the 3 months, that way you can be happy and excited together and maybe move in together at though point or something, but that’s just me.

Post # 6
2894 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

LER1204: If you care about what’s socially acceptable, then yes, it’s too early. 

Post # 7
2455 posts
Buzzing bee

LER1204:  I think it’s a little soon personally but really, you’re 25 and you can do what you want.

However I would personally prefer to get engaged when he comes back from training. I wouldn’t want to spend the first three months of our engagement apart 🙁

Post # 8
1168 posts
Bumble bee

Every relationship is different. Some people date for years before engagement and end up in diforce where people like my grandparents dated for 2 months before they got married and were married for 60+ years and were madly in love for all of it. I’ve been with SO since January and we are getting engaged soon. I knew he was the one from the beginning. Our relationship just progressed differently than others. And believe it or not, that’s OKAY! Follow your heart and gut because at the end of the day it’s your relationship and other people may have opinions but that’s just the nature of any kind of big life decision. Goodluck with everything, I’m sure you’ll figure it all out 🙂 

Post # 9
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

If it’s right for you, do it! 

In my experience, people will always find something to criticise anyway so if it’s not this it’ll be something else you didn’t do ‘right’!

Post # 10
1062 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

It’s a bit early for me personally. However, I feel you should wait until he comes back before getting engaged and here’s why:

1) You’ll be really excited and giddy and want to talk about the engagement with your FI (even though it’s a long engagement) and he won’t be there in person 

2) People will want to take you two out to dinner soon after the engagement and your FI won’t really be around. If he is, there will be a big time crunch to squeeze in all the dinners and celebrations before he heads out. Once he gets back, people may not be as excited about the engagement since it occurred a few months beforehand. Don’t get me wrong, they’re happy for you, but it’s a lot more exciting when something is more recent. Do you know what I mean?

Post # 11
2791 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast

I’d wait. Long distance tests the relationship and especially since you haven’t been together long, i’d want to wait until after he was back. 

Post # 12
12875 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Personally, I think it sounds way too early.  It’s only been a few months, and during this time, you’ve lived 2 hours away from each other?  And will be away for 3 months again very soon?  I’d at least spend some time in the same city and really part of each others day to day lives before getting engaged.

Post # 13
5773 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

To me, it sounds way too early. While engagement isn’t as permanent as marriage, and marriage itself isn’t even permanent for some people, engagement is a much bigger commitment than just dating exclusively, and when there is a firm commitment, people are a lot less likely to walk away even if it’s clear that they are no longer right for each other. You’ve been together for all of 6 or 7 months; you are still in the highly hormonal, addictive phase of love, and while that is a super fun time of any relationship, the true test of the relationship is going to come when those hormones and excitement wear off.

Post # 14
904 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 1975

LER1204:  Don’t let others ideas/opinions, dictate what you would like to see happen. What you 2 think is short or long, is different from what someone else may think is short or long. You 2 make that decision for yourselves.

Oh… And my FI and I were engaged after 8 months of dating. When you know… You know..

Best of Luck!!

Post # 15
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

My fiance and I got engaged pretty quickly. officially started dating it September, moved in together in November, and engaged in April.

No one except his parents were surprised or said anything negative. It’s what was right for us and we are happy so that’s all that matters 🙂


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