(Closed) Is it too late or a bad idea to ask my cousin to be a BM?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Should I ask Cousin to be a BM?
    Yes : (18 votes)
    90 %
    No : (1 votes)
    5 %
    Other, I'll Explain : (1 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4001 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I’d ask her.  And I’d say all of the things you just said in the post when I did ask her.  She’ll appreciate the honesty and would most likely feel honored to be asked.  I asked a childhood friend 3 weeks ago, only when my original BM couldn’t do it.  She wasn’t offended and was totally excited.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1019 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2010

    I’d ask her. I’d be really honest and say you didn’t ask her at first because you didn’t want to hurt other cousins’ feelings, but now as things have started to progress you realize that this is important to you and you would really lover for her to be there with you as a Bridesmaid. The worst she can do is say no, right? In which case you are right back where you were before, minus the guilt over not asking her.

     

    good luck with whatever you decide!

    Post # 5
    Member
    6572 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2010

    i would ask. my friend recently waited awhile to ask me because she assumed that i knew i was going to in her wedding. of course i didn’t, and i was kind of sad that i wasn’t because it had been a long time and i figured she already picked everyone. well finally she called and asked me and told me her story and i didn’t care, i was just happy that she wanted me in her wedding!

    Post # 6
    Member
    1566 posts
    Bumble bee

    I would definitely ask – it’s not like you’re using her to replace someone else or doing this for some other flaky reason. Just tell her the truth, and I think she’ll be honored you asked. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    1022 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    No way!  You’re close to her only.  If they know that you have a good relationship with this cousin, they should understand why you chose her and not them.  My sister had my cousin (1 of 3 sisters) as her MOH, and that cousin had my sister in her wedding as a BM.   No one batted an eye because they hang out a lot and everyone knows they are good friends. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    653 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Maybe you could have your other cousins do a reading or have another job?

    But if you and your cousin are much closer I can’t imagine her sisters would be that offended.

    Post # 10
    Member
    987 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    I would ask.  I asked one bridesmaid late because I was trying to keep the wedding party small and I was having her daughter as a flowergirl.  It just didn’t feel right and that is exactly what I told her.  I explained my reasons for not asking at the beginning and how I really didn’t feel right not having her up there with me and she totally understood and accepted.  Just tell her what you told us.

    Post # 11
    Member
    3162 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I agree with the PPs that you should ask her and just be honest and say what you said in your post about why you didn’t ask her in the first place. Don’t worry about the other cousins. If you’re not as close I don’t think they would expect to be asked anyway.

    Post # 12
    Member
    132 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I wouldn’t ask her. If you didn’t ask her from the beginning, it looks like an afterthought. My cousin did this to my sister and it placed her in a difficult situation.

    The topic ‘Is it too late or a bad idea to ask my cousin to be a BM?’ is closed to new replies.

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