Is it too much to ask my guests to wear either White/Ivory/cream or Beige?

posted 3 years ago in Beauty
Post # 3
2878 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yes, it’s too much.  Sorry.  I mean… you could try to spread it by word of mouth that it’s what you prefer, or tell them that if they ask what to wear, but no, I don’t think you can directly ask/tell them.

Post # 4
7188 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

Yes, it’s too much. People probably wouldn’t be comfortable with it either since wearing those colors to a wedding is usually a big no-no.

Post # 6
852 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@jdeleon14255:  Presumably you dont have a huge number of guests as its a DW and all of them must be pretty close if they are planning on spending on a trip to be there with you……so I say spread the word of the picture in your head and see what happens. I’d probably be happy to go along with it.

Post # 7
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I would say the majority would be happy to accomodate; some will panic (like me) b/c they hate wearing those colors and don’t actually own anything, but will step up and figure it out; and a very few will whine b/c they are uptight people in general or even refuse and come in red.

Post # 8
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I think it is not the worst thing in the world to give them an optional colour scheme! You will be surprised how many will actually go along with it. It must not be forced upon them though! All the best!!

Post # 9
528 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@jdeleon14255:  My first reaction was yes, it’s too much. But after thinking about it a little, I think it really depends on you and your guests. Some people get really into costume parties and other people don’t. I’m not trying to liken your wedding to a costume party, but it’s kind of the same principle. Some people hate being told what they should/n’t wear to an event and others think it’s great. I think you should think about your guests and what kind of people they are. If they’ll mostly think this idea is BS, then you should abandon it, regardless of how good in looks in photos.

Afterall, your guests are there to celebrate with you, not perform for you.

Post # 10
193 posts
Blushing bee

@jdeleon14255:  I think it is fine, as long as you provide options or choices (which you have) and as long as it is a smallish group or people that you are close with. And since it is a destination wedding, I’d assume that is the case. Usually I would say know. One thing- you are organising all these tours but are you also paying for them? If I were a guest and had to shell out for all of that and then the bride told me I had to wear a certain thing (which I may not own) I might be a little annoyed/see it as controlling. 

Post # 12
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I think it’s too much – personally I hate wearing those colours. I would be perfectly fine if you said ‘as we are getting married on the beach, it would be lovely if you could wear something light.’ 

But it all depends – I’m having a destination wedding with only a small number of people and they’ve all asked me what to wear, so I could easily give them a colour code. 

Post # 13
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Beach

My best friends had a wedding on the beach and asked all the guests to wear white beach dresses/cocktail dresses. Considering that most people don’t but white dresses to upset the bride most people didnt have any formal white dresses so she switched it to anything white. People were looking forward and I loved it. It was okay if any other colors came in the dress but it had to be mostly white and the pics looked fantastic and everyone had a good time. So no i dont think you’re asking for too much maybe you could just be a bit flexible if someone says i dont have anything in your color pallete. thos are the pic from that night 🙂

Post # 14
11604 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yes.  I think it’s inappropriate to request guests wear a certain color.

I also don’t own any white dresses, and certainly wouldn’t buy one specifically to wear to a wedding, especially when I likely would never wear it again.

Post # 15
5518 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2012

I dont think requesting is inappropriate.  I think it would be if you get mad because they didn’t comply

Post # 16
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

As a general rule it is a very bad idea indeed to ask guests to wear certain colours. Especially when they realise that this is, in the main, in order to be appropriately garbed props in the wedding pictures. 

However, you know your guests. If this is a small wedding then you could certainly throw out the idea that wearing light colours would look good but white/cream are really difficult choices because normally these colours are exactly what you don’t wear to a wedding. So if you are already asking people to pay for their own flights and other expenses to get to a DW then lumbering them with buying extra outfits that might never be worn again is a bit much.

Whenever anyone raises this thorny question I always ask “What if they don’t comply with your dress rules?” Will people turning up in the “wrong” colours cause you stress? Will you exclude these people from the photoshoot? Or will you not care that much on the day?  If the latter is the case then it is worth considering whether the potential offence you’ll cause is worth it.

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