is it true?

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

oooh man. What your talking about is often called a PPD or Pretty Princess Day and you will get varying and very strong opinions.

Post # 3
Member
314 posts
Helper bee

I think it’s perfectly fine!! especially when there are deadlines for health isurance benefits and stuff you need a marriage license for…

but there’s A LOT of judgement on these boards (rich women who don’t understand) so what I’ve learned here: if you do it, you can’t tell anyone! you need to keep it a secret and take it to your grave! (yes, I’m serious- what people don’t know won’t hurt them, and everyone celebrates the marriage happily, the end.)

Post # 4
Member
7410 posts
Busy Beekeeper

What I have found is that people only have a problem with this when they are lied to. So if the couple hides that they are already legally married.

A lot of people say it is no ones business and that marriage is just between the couple but then I guess I don’t see the point of throwing a redo later if that is the case!

Persoanlly I don’t have a problem as long as I know they are already married. That way I can prioritise appropriately. If I get invited to someones “first” event on the same day as the couples redo then I am most likely going to prioritise the redo lower and not attend. But is also depends on the relationship as well. Second cousin twice removed yeah I am going to decline, best friend I will be there.

Post # 5
Member
528 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - Columbia, SC

MrsBaldwi1n:  I dont think this is a PPD, I think this is a “Vow Renewal”. Some people look down on them, but if you want to have it have it. I would only have a problem with it if you had a big ceremony and then 2 years later wanted it again. That is when I would think it was another PPD. 

Post # 6
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

People have strong opinions on this for some reason. It’s all BS. 

The difference between a marriage on paper, a marriage before God, and a secular marriage / marriage before the community is a modern thing and there is no established etiquette. It’s up to the couple to figure out how they want to handle that situation, keeping in mind that there is: 

a) nothing wrong with being married in one way before being married in another

b) nothing wrong with seeing one type of marriage as more meaningful or official to the couple 

c) there may be people who do not understand or feel like they need to have an opinion on the subject

 

Post # 7
Member
239 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I have only been to one of these and thought nothing of it to be honest. The couple were married in a registry office (UK version of a courthouse marriage) because she was pregnant and then had a massive ‘proper’ church weddin around two years later, which I attended. It was a huge ‘wedding’ – two dresses for the bride, full ceremony and vows, gospel choir etc etc, so pretty much the definition of a PPD. The thing is, I really enjoyed the day, everyone was fully aware that they were already married and just enjoyed it for what it was.

I see no issue with a PPD to be honest. Its the couples money and their decision on how they want to spend it and if they want to spend it on a big fancy day then why would I care? Nobody is forcing me to attend or have anything to do with it. If somebody i knew was having a PPD and I didn’t like the idea then I just wouldn’t attend. Simple. I really don’t understand why people get so annoyed about the things that other people (often people they don’t even know…) decide to do with their lives?

Post # 8
Member
6279 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

if you are already married and then “get married again” it is called vow renewal.

 

Post # 9
Member
8426 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

MrsBaldwi1n:  I think it depends on how you go about it and your reasons; immigration, deployment, insurance, etc., are all valid reasons for people to be legally married ahead of time.  In addition, if you receive gifts initially, then register for gifts again at your redo, it can seem gift-grabby.  That being said, the most judgement you’ll probably receive for doing something like this will be on these boards.

Post # 10
Member
1107 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

MrsBaldwi1n:  To me, have a second ceremony is pointless. I get wanting the big “party” but you only get married to your person once. Personally, I could not go through with a second ceremony.

Post # 11
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I truly don’t understand the ire directed at these types of situations. If a couple gets married at the courthouse for whatever reason–insurance, immigration, military, can’t afford a big wedding–and then wants a ceremony and reception later on to share with family and friends, what’s it to me? Whether they’ve already been legally married or not doesn’t affect me. I would still go to the wedding and buy a gift. The only time it would seem shady is if the couple solicited gifts and whatnot at the time of their courthouse marriage and then turned around and expected everybody to buy them more gifts because they were having a wedding. I can’t imagine any sane person doing that, though. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to celebrate your marriage with the people you love in attendance, and I don’t feel like that qualifies as a “Pretty Princess Day.” What’s wrong with wanting to have a special day and wear a big white dress anyway? Nothing. I know several people who have done this and nobody batted an eye, so seeing people get all up in arms over this is surprising.

Just my. $.02…flame away.

Post # 12
Member
7664 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

Bear in mind that in some religious denominations, you are not married until you have had your religious ceremony (for example, in Catholicism). In this case, the couple could be legally married, but the church will not recognise that marriage until they have had a convalidation to make the marriage legal in the eyes of the church.

I see nothing wrong with a couple having a low key registry office wedding, and then celebrating their convalidation later on, because technically then the convalidation IS the wedding, if you are a Catholic. Certainly I have friends for whom their religious blessing WAS the wedding… not the legal part (which is often done separately in various European countries, anyway).

Post # 13
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

MrsBaldwi1n:  You can do whatever the heck you want.

Post # 14
Member
1201 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: A very pretty church.

WeModerns:  Or more, it is no more or less a PPD than any other wedding 😉 (with all the extra stuff)

Post # 15
Member
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

MrsBaldwi1n:  Going to agree with a PP that the issue usually comes when people have been lied to, so they haven’t been made aware that you are married and then you invite them to your wedding. I know a couple who got married (courthouse) divorced and remarried (courthouse), 15 years after their first marriage they had their “wedding”, they had a ceremony and a reception and to be honest it was amazing to watch. More love there than some weddings I have been to… But everyone know the truth that they were already married.

I think it is one of those things were you will get conflicting opinions but it is based on people’s prior experience with these things… I have no issues with it but I do have issues if they for instance want to do this over and over again or expect gifts again…

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