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I'm from Los Angeles and I have to say no matter where you get married in Vegas it's still Vegas. It's a big place for bachlor and bachlorette parties. It's not the most romantic place, but you should do what your heart tells you. It's really hot in the summer and the beginning of fall. Try for early Spring.
What about Puerto Rico?
I think that if you want a destination wedding you should go for it. Have you explained to his mom that it'll be far more budget friendly (esp since you've been laid off)? I think regardless of what you do, in the end she'll just want to see her son get married and she'll be happy to be there.
You have to do what's going to work for you and the mum's just have to get over it. I know the kind of wedding we're planning (garden ceremony, tea length wedding dress, BM's in different dresses and colours - very casual and fun) is not the kind of wedding my FI's mum would like for us to have. I know she'd prefer for us to have a bigger, more formal winery type wedding but that's just not us. You have to do what you want to do cos at the end of the day, if you don't you'll regret it and you could end up resenting your MIL for influencing your wedding day.
Hopefully your fella can have a chat to his mum and point out how you've tried to find a compromise. Goodluck!
Do what feels best for you. I think it's a fine compromise having a destination wedding and then a more laidback celebration back home. His mother will probably come around - it's you getting married, not her!
I definitely say go for the DW. It's your wedding, not your FMIL's wedding. She will get over it. A party/reception in NJ would be a nice compromise.
I don't know if you have your heart set on Vegas but Lake Tahoe is a really nice alternative. Still very easy to get married there (on the NV side) but not as cheesy and has some of the most gorgeous settings! http://www.beautifultahoeweddings.com/packagesandlocations_emeraldbay.html
If you've been laid off, would it be logical to spend all this money on a wedding only to make your mothers happy? Really? You two will need this money to pay food and rent and living expanses for a while... I think the mothers insisting to have it their way when you don't have the means, this is selfish and unconsiderate.
It's your day, do what will make you both feel good and comfortable. :)
Have the DW. It sounds like you have more than enough well-thought out reasons for wanting to have your wedding this way. At the end of the day, it's YOUR wedding and you should be able to feel good about your plans, not go into crazy debt and be miserable because its not what you want.
It sounds like you've already made up your mind and you really just need to deal with the FMIL. We were in somewhat simliar shoes - We got up to $27k and we weren't even done planning yet. Thats when I pulled the cord. I always wanted a church wedding in my hometown, but I also want a house :)
Good luck talking with your FMIL (I mean that in a non-sarcastic tone). Make sure your FI is on board and talk to her together. She has to understand reason (money being tight)....and if she doesnt then she can pay for it all minus the ~$12k you would've spent on the DW anyway :)
Unless they want to foot your bills and pay for the wedding in full, i find it really insensitive for your family members to be upset for you for wanting to save money during a time where money could be tight for a while. Go with your gut!
Its not selfish if youre doing it for budget reasons!! Dont let anyone make you think that either...
Whether your doing it for budget reasons or not you have to be true to yourself. Its like my FI and our family keep reminding me; I don't want to look back 5 years from now and wonder what could have been.
Go to Vegas. Don't worry about it being "tacky". (I hate that word.) Tacky is relative to the person and as long as you love it forget what others say. I am wearing flipflops under my couture dress. Don't care if its tacky or not, its 100% me and I will be SOOOO comfy. 
If you want to have a DW, have a DW. I am getting married in Vegas in 3 months from today......and I am happy with my decision. Originally in was just going to be the 2 of us, but my dad asked to walk me down the isle, so we decided to let them go just so he can do that. They were then trying to get me to let other people come & I did put my foot and said no. We wanted our wedding to be very intimate, between the 2 of us. So do what your heart tells you to do & don't worry about the rest. It will all work out in the end!
I agree with the other posters!! Do what you want and what will make your wedding special, everyone else will understand!
It's your wedding. Not theirs. End of story. Seriously weigh the pros and cons of a destination and a local wedding. Go with your gut! Good luck hun.
Family members to not dictate when and where the wedding happens. It's completely the couple's decision, and it really irks me when I hear people bash destination weddings saying how selfish they are. If you can't afford to attend, don't! Usually there's enough notice to save up for it, though, and then it's also like a mini vacation. I really don't see the problem with DWs.
Forget the Vegas wedding. It si for parties and MOST the marriages I know that happened there all ended in Divorce.
How about a cruise wedding? We are going to a 7 day to the Carribean. Getting married in Grand Cayman.
Off season. Staying under $8,000.
We have 3 kids and have been together for 10 years finally deciding to take the pludge and wanted to have a trip with the kids involved. Best prices on the wedding. Only $2300 for a wedding in grand cayman and many other options when you book through the cruise. Full 2 hour reception and open bar for around $2,000 on the ship. Plus a private dinner at the steak house 3 course is only $30 per person.
We assume to have only about 20 crusing with us. Where is we hold a local wedding we would be feeding 90 at $50 per person.
Not Vegas but many others destinations I suggest.
I say go to Vegas and do it your way. Its all about you and your SO after all.
And as far as a Vegas wedding being "tacky" or "not going to last" just because it is Vegas, I find that to be disrespectful to those of us that have chosen a Vegas wedding for our own reasons.
My FI and I actually said I love you for the first time on a trip to Vegas and for us it is a very romantic place that means a lot to us. We are having a ceremony at a casino off the strip that is very nice and are planning some partying on the strip after with a full on reception in our home town once we return. I dont think there is anything tacky about that.
Please dont make a decision for someone else, do what makes you happy and you will never regret that.
All the best to you!
There is nothing selfish at all about doing an intimate destination wedding. That's what we're doing.
check out a site just for them: www.intimateweddings.com
It's one of my favorite sites next to this place and stylemepretty and southern weddings! Its' blog has great suggestions and contests and diy pieces too!
I also think it's kind of rude to say getting married in Vegas is tacky or imply that it will end in divorce. Vegas isn't the quickie-wedding haven it used to be. Sure, there are still late-night chapels around but there are also luxury destination weddings in Vegas these days too. We decided to get married in Vegas because it would be a fun destination for our guests with lots to do, and because our venue (Caesars Palace) made things really easy for us in the way of planning. Everyone has different atmospheres in mind for their weddings, and we should all respect each others' choices.
@puppysnugg remember this is your wedding day. You have to do what makes you happy in the end. If this is what works best for you, then do it! Good luck.
puppysnugg, you should do what you and your FI want to do. and if you have any questions about getting married in vegas feel free to pm me. i'm very happy with my choice to do this as opposed to a nyc wedding.
the vegas haters on this thread, um, i don't think it's very nice for you to have said some of those things about the choices some of us have made. extremely disrepectful to the op and to those of us having vegas weddings. you don't like the idea of getting married in vegas, then you don't have to make that choice.
My sister is going to do a vow renewal in vegas for a big number anniversary next year! We can't wait! It's going to be elegant and fun (emphasis on fun).
I think it's a great place to have a dw!
It's your day and your wedding. You can do what you choose. FH and I are doing a destionation wedding in Clearwater, FL to compromise with our families-- we wanted to go to Jamacia--but most weren't willing to fly that far--- so Florida was perfect-- still destination wedding on the beach, but it is driving distance for those who won't fly.
NO, it's NOT selfish. Granted, I'm biased since I'm also planning a destination wedding :)
Here is my one and only piece of wisdom: you are not responsible for other people's happiness. Mom, grandma, and some of your guests may be fussing and upset about your plans, but their unhappiness is THEIR problem. Your choice didn't align with their expectations. Well then, THEIR EXPECTATIONS are what caused their unhappiness. You didn't cause it, and you'll kill yourself trying to please everyone.
My mom isn't happy about my choice but I'm over it. I live in Chicago and wanted a beach wedding. I started planning a garden wedding in Chicago, thinking that would be okay since it was still outdoors. Well, when the budget hit $35,000, I had second thoughts. I realized I could have my dream (beach) wedding for almost half the cost and I would like it better.
Not selfish at all! I always tell girls that if they want to elope or have a small wedding do it. You aren't here on earth to please anyone else but yourself. So to think that they want you to base the wedding around them is just selfish on THEIR part not yours. You're not planning a party for them or a wedding for them, this isn't their affair, it's your's so do your thingy thing girl and don't worry about what anyone else has to say!
If I could give destination brides ONE word of advice it is just to follow your heart and plan the day YOU ultimately want. I spent the first month of our engagement breaking my back trying to please everyone and it is virtually impossible. What IS certain is that you will be the one who suffers most.
I completely understand your hesitance on having a destination wedding as it is easy to feel guilty for asking people to spend extra money, travel a long way, etc. I know because I am doing it myself. (My family is in the US, FI family in London and we are marrying in Italy.) In our case there was NO way we could make everyone happy and in retrospect I truly wish i had never even tried. I am honestly excited about our wedding in Italy but I also feel the stress of making friends and family come so far and spend so much just for "me". We moved it away from our original Napa Valley destination b/c his parents strongly objected (basically didn't want the wedding in the US, though they weren't that upfront at the time.) After we moved everything to Italy (an easy direct flight 1.5 hours away for THEM) his mother spent another month sulking and STILL being very unhappy about the whole thing as it is not the "traditional" English wedding SHE wants.
Bottom line: Save yourself the stress and unnecessary guilt. Do what you and your FI want. It is your money and YOUR day. They had theirs. Eventually people come around, and I'm sure it will be fine when your day turns out wonderfully. Sadly it just often takes small, largely unnecessary "battles" until then. Good luck to you!
Starbright and Wildstyle - THANK U!!! I was offended too...my wedding is going to be at the MGM Forever Wedding Chapel. We are not having an Elvis inpersonator or anything else cheesy at our wedding. We have family in Northern and Southern Cali and decided instead of picking one place or the other we'd go somewhere nuetral that everyone will have fun at, without it costing us $20k...we opted to buy a home instead of paying for a huge grandious wedding. We thought that was the more responsible thing to do with our savings. Following the ceremony we will have an intimate cake and champagne reception, because many of the people coming may opt to fly or drive home the same night.
Puppysnugg - Do what makes you and your fiance happy, you stated that LV is special to you so that is what is important, and I know from experience that you can have a very chic and sophisticated wedding in Vegas. I attended my friends wedding at the Luxor and it was very pretty, and I know the Madalay Bay and Belagio, as well as the golf courses and other sites can do as beautiful of a wedding as any other town. Good luck in whatever choice you make :-) I'm sure it will be perfect for you.
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Hello fellow wedding bees! Well I've been agonizing over the last few days over my wedding plans and wanted to see what my fellow brides thought.
I had the big, traditional NY (NJ actually, his home state...) wedding planned for the last 2 years or so, to the tune of $37k (budget). I was recently laid off, and the thought of spending that kind of dough for what is essentially a big party, half full of people I've never met before, just didn't sound so appealing to me. We decided to cancel that, and now we are in very serious re-planning stages of a destination wedding to Las Vegas. We were engaged there, and I'm not doing something tacky, it will be intimate and high end, 5 star rest. etc. The budget here has shrunk to about $12k, which to me is awesome! Now, the problem is his mom is flipping her lid over this. She is the type that likes everyone to feel included, and is really truly against us getting married there.
There was also the initial promise of them helping us financially, but now that is out the window since it's not what they want. We have promised to renew our vows within a few months at a local church and have a small brunch or lunch for the family who cannot make it to the wedding in Las Vegas, so we are trying to make some form of a compromise.
Do you guys think that we should do what we want to do, and go with the Vegas wedding, or what?! I don't like the idea of his parents coming begrudingly.
I have a very "fancy" Pronovias gown with cathedral veil and basically I cannot be wearing that in the East Village or something...A NY resturaunt wedding to me is out of the question...I just don't want to feel like it's simply another day I am traipsing around NYC in a gown and eating at a rest.
At least in Vegas it will feel a bit more "special." Also I think the service there is a bit better; the town is just more suited to a small wedding, they do it all the time...So anyway, there are some of my reasons, but would love hear everyone else's opinion! Thanks again!