Weddingbee boards

We're not planning to have formal reception for the wedding, just dinner at a nice restaurant. It's just going to be our closest friends & family, so I really want  to serve something nice and upscale. I was thinking something like filet mignon and lobster tails, which is quite pricey. It's going to be a plated dinner, not buffet style, and the guests will probably have the option of choosing something else like chicken if they don't want steak & lobster.

So my question is, a few of our guests have kids and I was wondering if it would be unfair not to give the kids the choice of ordering the expensive steak & lobster? The kids are 9, 12, 16 & 17. Two of the younger kids are boys and can eat a lot. I'm sure they would appreciate such a nice meal, but it seems like a lot of money to spend on youngsters.

Is it totally rude and offensive to the parents not to give their kids a choice? Is it something I should tell the parents about in advance? Not sure how I would even go about it...

I would offer kids menus to those kids 16 and under. The 9yro and the 12yro would get a kids menu in my opinion. 

We're sort of in the same boat... There are several children coming to our wedding reception (ranging from 16 years old to less than a year old).  Here's what I'm doing... Although our guests have the choice of a beef, chicken or fish plated dinner, we are also offering a chicken finger and french fries meal for the little ones.  The children who are coming are all nieces or nephews so I felt comfortable enough to call the parents and explain that although the response card has the specific beef, chicken and fish dinners listed in detail for them to choose from, a special "kids meal" has been ordered for their children.  I let all the kids 10 years old and older decide if they wanted the kids meal or if they prefered one of the beef/chicken/fish options instead.  I assumed the kids under 10 would prefer the kids meal... but hit a road bump when my fiance's 7 year old niece politely requested steak instead of chicken fingers (I guess she doesn't eat chicken).  I was taken aback by the request - the thought of spending so much money on a kid that may or may not even eat the dinner made me a little uneasy at first... but decided to give her whatever she wanted.  Since you only have 4 kids attending and two of them (the 16 & 17 year old) are more like adults than children (and you said the younger two would actually eat the meal), I would just offer them all the same meal as everyone else. 

Thanks for all the responses! I think I will include a kids meal option on the menu but I will let them decide for themselves what they want. You guys were a big help thanks again!