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I don't think it's weird at all - I picked mine out! He wanted it that way. That way he knew I would like it!
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exactly, Aug15bride. I think it is definetly more common these days for the woman to go pick out her ring before hand. It ensures that you actually like the ring!
LOL - funny story;
About 4 weeks after my FI unexpectantly went out and ordered my suprise ering, I had mentioned to him (very nonchalant lol) that I read somewhere that like 60% of women hate their erings but would never say anything to their FIs or friends. lol he freaked right out and was like "WELL....WHEN....AND IF I GET YOU A RING....YOU WOULD TELL ME IF YOU HATED IT RIGHT?....YOU HAAAAVE TO TELL ME..." ha ha right after he proposed he mentioned that convo to me (that I basically forgot about) and was like he almost died when he heard that thinking I would hate this beautiful rock on my finger lol
It's pretty common these days. FI and I did it that way. We were using a family stone of my great-grandmothers so we kind of had to, but even if we weren't I would have insisted on at least doing some "window shopping" with him so he had some clue of what to get. Men, generally speaking, don't know much when it comes to jewelry.
I don't think it is unusual at all! Fiance and I decided together, and when we found the right stone, we both KNEW! It was really, really fun picking out a stone together :)
He wanted ruby sidestones on my ring. I was not sure how nice that would look so I looked for some samples online once. I'm not picky but when it comes to non-traditional, I want to make sure it's not too way out there. I printed out a picture of one and kept it. I tried to describe the style in another conversation...but he said, Let me pick it. Let's be romantic. A few weeks later, when he was stressing about my ring--he asked me again to clarify so I whipped out the picture and he chuckled but said he was soooo relieved because he was having a hard time. There was no website, size so he had to decide where, how big, how much to spend. Oh and the final ring had no ruby sidestones, same style as the pic, just diamonds. So he did adjust it based on input of the jeweler. I know he cared and a lot of thought went into it. I was dazzled by the beauty of the moment and the ring.
Here's some advice for those who want a SEMI-SURPRISE === give him some input and freedom to change/adjust, wait til signs of struggle and inquiry, be prepared with what u like.
Every couple is different and you can find joy in all kinds of situations. :)
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I don't think it's weird at all. I think most men would like some assurance that the major number of dollars they're about to spend is not going to be a total gamble and may turn out to be something you secretly hate. I described to my FH what styles I liked, and he went and did the majority of the shopping by himself. Then, he narrowed it down to three rings he thought I would really love, and asked me to come in and choose my favorite. It turned out that the one I wanted was the same as what he thought I would want, but he just couldn't pull the trigger on it until I gave him the okay!
It's totally not weird. Sometimes men don't know where to start with the type of ring you would want. My hubby and I went to look at rings prior to getting engaged. He also did a lot of research on his own but he knew the type of ring that I wanted. There's soooooo many to choose from that it's helpful if he knows what style you prefer. Some of my friends have picked out the actual engagement ring themselves too.
Honestly, I have never understood the whole thing of the big surprise proposal in which he whips out the ring. You're the one who is going to be wearing that ring for life, and I'd think he'd want to make sure you were happy with it.
For my first ring, we had a family diamond reset. I was the one who had the diamond, so it obviously was not a big surprise. This time around, neither of us really wanted an engagement ring. However, if I were going to have one, I'd definitely want to help pick it out.
We went ring shopping several months before the proposal ... I picked out 5 rings that I liked, and then he later went and bought the one that he thought I wanted the most (and that he liked the most) ... so I had some input, but the final product was still a mini surprise.
We also went shopping together months before he propsed. I chose the type of diamond (cut/quality) I liked and looked at different band styles and showed him which styles I liked! A few months later, he proposed and the ring that he ultimately had made was perfect! He really paid attention and remembered what I liked! I'm sure the jeweler took notes too though! So of course I think it's fine to share what you like!
My fi proposed without a ring, and we later decided to wear each other's birthstones instead of the traditional diamonds. Since both of our rings are custom-made, I knew ahead of time what mine would look like. :)
I don't think it's strange at all! We had a great time picking out the ring together and wound up choosing a custom ring. Stones and rings look so different on your finger that it's really a good idea to at least know what you like the look of on your hand. I was surprised to find out some of the styles I liked looking at online were disasters on my hand. Nobody has ever made any comments to me about how FI and I shouldn't have picked out the ring together. People actually have commented how it was thoughtful of my FI to choose it with me. Don't worry about judgment; I'm sure everyone will simply be impressed with your gorgeous ring
I don't think it's unusual at all! FI wanted me to pick mine out because he was so worried about getting something that I wouldn't like so it just worked out for the better for us.
I've been worried about the same thing! SPC Sierra asked me for pictures of rings that I really like and I feel awkward doing that because I don't want him to think that the stone size in the picture is the size I'm expecting him to get me. (I'm not expecting anythnig, yes, there are some wants :), but I'm not expecting anything in particular)... My band is going to be one that my father had given my mother-it's gorgeous yellow gold w. channel set diamonds :) BUT, for the center stone-that's all up in the air because I'm afraid of being presumptuous! ;)
I picked mine out! He asked me if X carat was big enough for a center stone, but he'd already showed it to me and I kinda figured that's what I'd gotten! He wanted to make sure I absolutely positively loved it. He knows how picky I am about jewelry, particularly a ring I plan on wearing forever! We went ring shopping for the setting and he bought it right then and there for me after he proposed with the solitaire. He still wanted the element of surprise I guess.
We went diamond shopping together, and I picked the stone! I knew what I was looking for and his budget and we looked at stones in that budget until we found one!
I picked out my ring too! Get tons of compliments and know that it's absolutely the ring I'll love for the rest of my life.
My fiance and I looked at rings a while before we got engaged. I knew my FI wanted to actully design the ring himself so we window shopped and browsed. He worked with a jeweler and designed the entire thing. He did an amazing job and he totally surprised me. I love my ring and all the little details that went into it to make it mine.
I don't think its odd if a girl gets to provide input on their ring. Its something they'll be wearing forever.
My fiance and I are choosing my engagement ring together...not because I don't trust his judgment, but rather because of the "deer-in-the-headlights" look he got on his face when we stepped into the first store and the salesman asked "how many carats are you looking for? White gold or platinum? Round or princess cut?"
I don't think it's unusual at all. While it's definitely nice for the guy to do the choosing on his own, shopping together ensures that you get a ring you love at a price that doesn't make him cry like he does while watching Field of Dreams.
Surprise proposals date from the original DeBeers diamond engagement ring marketing campaign. They found that if women chose the ring, they would spend less, so they romanticized the ideal engagement as a surprise.
I designed my ring, pretty much on my own. No surprises here. And we were both very happy about it, because we were sure that was exactly what I wanted.
I picked my ring out but my FI did have some input. I'm only wearing one ring so he wanted the diamonds in the band to be larger than I wanted and he pulled a veto on my eternity band idea because he thought I would lose some of the diamonds over time. He also suggested the stones be channel set so they are more secure.
HMMMM now that I'm thinking he pretty much put the details of the ring together, I just pointed in the right direction!
You are going to wear it the rest of your life, so it better be what you want! (Within reason) I am getting ready to get married for the second time( and the last time!), and we both have children, so we had discussed it before had somewhat, but when the time came it was just something I wanted to be involved in. I love jewlery and am somewhat particular. I figured it was better to go and give my input than have him surprise me with something that I wasnt crazy about. The ring is a big deal and a huge part of the whole process. It doesnt have to be about the money, you pick something you love within his budget, but it is going to be your ring. Once we picked it out we bought it right there on the spot and he just kept it for a while so when the time to propose came there was still a little of the surprise element.
We went shopping together for my ring. First off, I didn't have a solid idea of the kind of ring I wanted. I had a few general ideas of what I liked, however, when we got to the jewelry store, all things changed.
It's not that I didn't trust him to buy me a nice ring, but I just wanted it to be THE RIGHT ONE! And when we saw this ring, we both just knew it was THE ONE. We purchased it that day.
Is it bad hat I've done pretty much all of the planning/designing/dreaming about the ring and FI has just done the budgeting? lol, I think he likes it that way, gives him more time for fishing and XBox (and no, we are not 17... he's 28 and plas XBox... sigh, lol). He just wants me to be happy. I know the budget and I am working within that, he will just put down the debit card and then "surprise" me with it later. I think its the best of both worlds!
It is NOT weird at all and VERY common!
I picked mine out!
I have a friend who got engaged without the ring because he wanted a surprise proposal but wanted her to pick the ring! The down side to that is it took 3 whole weeks to get the ring on her finger so I was adamant that the ring has to be my size when he proposes because I don't want to give it back!!!!!
I actually wish I had been more involved in my ring decision...We went looking once at a store but I was honestly so excited and flustered that I couldn't give an opinion about anything! So eventually I told him I liked a round center stone and diamonds on the band in some form, which is basically exactly what he did...I love my ring but it's probably not what I would've picked out had I gone with him to specifically choose a ring...most likely would have picked a halo setting with a thinner band but oh well, what can you do?? Which is why having a big role in picking out your ring is a great idea! :)
Personally, I like the whole element of surprise. I will give some hints and I will give a rough description on the stone that I prefer, but that is it. I want to be surprised and I think that is a very important aspect of a proposal.
My fiance and I picked out the setting together (I put it on and just KNEW!!), but he insisted on doing the diamond work himself. Also, I picked it out but still had to wait five months for a surprise proposal. I love the way we did it because I have a ring that is stunning, but he chose the diamonds, and also was able to shock me with a proposal. I think it's sweet if you can give input because you WILL be wearing the ring the rest of your life - why not get something you love?
I think it's okay to be involved in the shopping, he's the one that'll make the final decision. I bought a watch for the SO a couple weeks ago for our one year anniversary and it was so stressful trying to figure out what style I thought he would like and stuff. And that's just a watch, not a symbol of our love and spending our lives together... lol. So I mean, if he wants you to be involved, I say go for it. It's stressful, lol, trying to pick out something your SO would love, no matter how long you've known them.
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I was just wondering how involved other women usually get in the choosing of their engagement ring and diamond. We window-shopped once a few years ago, and then last month for real when he said he was ready to buy it, but couldn't remember which band I'd said I wanted. We figured that since I would be the one wearing it every day for the rest of my life that I should choose it, but then I worried that doing that might seem too pushy or mercenary in some way, like the object was more important than the meaning. I even was the one who drove around to different stores to look at diamonds, since he was busy with work. In the end, he told me an upper limit figure, and I just told him which store had the stone I wanted. Does that seem weird? Now is the waiting time when I'm not supposed to mention it anymore and then be surprised when at some point in the hopefully-not-too-distant future, he whips it out and -voila- it's just what I've always wanted! What do you all think? Is this approach too picky and materialisitc, or is it awkward but necessary? Or should women be discouraged from getting involved in the details since the meaning is the important thing?