Post # 1
I’ve always thought I’d take my SO’s surname when we get married but recently I’ve been having second thoughts. My maiden name is super easy to spell, pronounce and write. My SO’s surname isn’t long but its frequently mispronounced and spelled…. I’m thinking that I might regret the simplicity of my surname but I’ve always wanted to share a name with my husband and kids.
To make my debate harder my boss and I were reviewing a meeting invite list and he casually commented ‘your name is the only normal name on this list!’. Do I really want to give that up?
Are there any bees that have exchanged a simple surname for a more complicated one? Or for those of you with more complicated surnames, is it actually annoying to have to spell out your name and correct pronunciation?
I’ve also had thoughts about naming a son my surname (it is becoming a common first name).. If I decide to keep my surname would it be weird to also name my son that??
Post # 3
@mhat: no my last name is “wall” It doesnt get much easier than that… but im giving it up for my fiance’s last name which is often mispronounced, mispelt and has a religous affiliation with it.
FI does not have the same last name as his mom. I feel that it has made a few things harder on him growing up. Hes had to explain it the difference to people- it gets awkward. Plus people assume things when your kids have a different last name. If I can spare my future kids any sort of “evil eye” I will.
Post # 4
I’m commenting to follow this thread. I’m wondering that myself. For me, on the one hand, if I take my SO’s last name, I will be more identifiable. On the other hand, like you mentioned, I will constantly have to spell it out for people and tell them how to pronounce it. I’m thinking not just in everyday life, but also career-wise which would be better?
For example (not our real names)
Me: Rebecca Wilson
So’s last name: Widjaja
Post # 5
I’m actually the opposite of you! I have a german maiden name (so you can imagine the mispelling and mispronouncing lol) ..growing up I hated it! First two letters are “Zu..” so I was always last for everything and as a kid it sucked! But now that I’m older, I like the uniqueness of it. I actually had teachers tell me not to change it when I get married cause it’s so cool and unique! If someone asks, “have I met you before?” all I have to do is say my last name and they say “Omg, yessss, how have you been?!” and I love that! However, my new name will be very common, Williams… no offense to anyone, but all I think is blahh lol, but it’s important to me and my FI that I take his last name, so I have to suck up not having an original one anymore.. boo ;-/
Post # 6
@mildlybookish: My last name is very simple and no one ever misspells it, but I’m taking my SO’s very Irish sounding and slightly easier to spell wrong last name when we get married. It’s not about what the last name is to me, it’s just about being a family unit. I know tons of families have different last names and thats cool, but I’ve always wanted to have the same last name as my spouse and children.
Post # 7
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
I am going from a very simple, common last name to a less simple, less easy to spell (well, I think it’s easy), and often mispronounced last name. But I love it, personally. I was always tired of being “just another LASTNAME”…
Post # 8
@mhat: Do whatever you feel, feels right.
I have a long, foreign, unpronouncalbe last name, so I assumed I would take my husbands last name. I even used his last name for work because it is that much easier to remember/pronounce than mine.
I have never met one person (who wasn’t of the same ethnic background) who didn’t need time to learn to pronounce my last name, and most people just give up.
After being married for more than a year, I decided I wanted to keep it. I’ve had this name my whole life, and changing it legally doesn’t feel right.
When (hopefully) we have babies, they’ll have my husbands last name. We’re interracial as it is, so if society is going to wonder why my kids and I have different last names, I’m sure they’ll also wonder why my husbands kids aren’t white when I’m not out with them lol It is what it is.
Post # 9
@mhat: OOHH also, I have always had the hardest time making usernames and had a weird email that I made when I was 17, and now I can finally have a firstname.lastname email because my SO’s is so uncommon! That is a HUGE bonus for me! I asked him if he thought it would be weird if I created the email now so nobody else snags it up (there are a few other girls with my first name and his last name out there on the web) and he thought it was a great idea to reserve it, so now I’ll be ready when we get married later this year!
Post # 10
I like the unity of having a family name. My surname is only four letters but has been misspelled, mispronounced, and was made into other obnoxious names by kids growing up. It’s really not a difficult name. My FI last name is super French, always mispelled and mispronounced, and doesn’t give me the best initials after I change my name… But, I’m still doing it because I want our kids to have a family name instead of just my FH’s name.
Post # 11
Oh that’s tough! I went the opposite way, gladly. Just the other day, someone asked if my new last name was spelled the “traditional” way and I couldn’t believe I had a name with a traditional way of spelling it!!! That said, I still would have wanted to take my husband’s name because I want our whole family to have the same last name when we have kids. I wouldn’t mind so much if it were just us, although I still feel like it unifies us a bit more to have the same last name. I also didn’t have strong emotional bonds to my name, it was more of a practical decision.
Post # 12
I have to spell out my last name for everyone. No one can pronounce it right the first few times they say it. It doesn’t really bother me at all, yeah it may seem like a pain in the ass but honestly how hard is it to spell out your name and correct people? Its an extra 10 seconds max of your time to do so and it makes you stick out more. I say if you are going to have qualms about changing your name don’t let this be a reason.
Post # 13
Well, my last name is 8 letters and mispronounced about 30% of the time. My FI’s name is 9 letters and misprounced more like 40% of the time. But, his is easier to spell I think, it has no letters or combos that are easily mistaken, whereas I have an M which always sounds like an N to everyone when it’s spelled. There’s an N in his last name too, but the letters before or after it make it easier to hear I guess.
In the end, I guess it doesn’t matter!
Post # 14
I was in a pretty similar situation. My last name is super easy to spell and pronounce but not super common. His name is short but oddly hard to spell and pronnounce. I’m also published under my name and professionally known by my name. I like my name. So I kept it. My husband would like us and our future child to all have the saqme last name, so The plan is that he will change his last name to my last name when we have a child, who will also have my last name.
Post # 15
I went from an easy to spell all-American name to a rarely heard name (with an accent mark to boot!).
I’m a teacher and my kids have really struggled with transitioning to my new name. Coworkers and the kids alike have difficulties remembering the new name and pronouncing it correctly. The the old name just rolls off the tongue so much easier and old habits die hard; I now answer to both names at school.
I don’t find the repeating/spelling of the new name to be bothersome – I rather like having a unique name and like a previous poster said, I don’t have to worry about anybody else using my logins/email address. 😉
Post # 16
@mhat: I have a long surname that’s frequently mispronouced and hard for others to spell, but that doesn’t bother me at all. Conversly, I LOVE havnig a unique last name and would be unhappy to have a “normal” one.
You get good at spelling your name over the phone. Plus, you can alwasy tell if it’s a telemarketer calling, since they stumble over your name. Ha ha, funny perk!