Is it weird for me to plan while I'm 'waiting'?

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
2679 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I did. I was upfront with my (now) FI about it and he took it very well. We had a LOT of conversations about engagement/wedding/marriage before I started planning so I think he kind of expected it.

Edit: I did a lot of Pinterest and also looked at a few venues with my FI before we were engaged. We were paying for it all ourselves so we wanted to get an idea of what the prices would be like in our area.

  • This reply was modified 2 years ago by  .
Post # 3
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I was a total planner. Not one thing is actully being used for the real wedding though! Not the dresses i pinned, the month i chose. Nothing. Lol. Enjoy preengaged pinterest dreaming, but remember to be flexable too. Congrats!

Post # 4
Member
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I waited until I was engage to plan. For me it didn’t feel right to plan a wedding unless I have a date set. 

  • This reply was modified 2 years ago by  Bored6.
Post # 5
Member
2055 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Well if it’s weird then I guess I’m weird too! 😀

You’re ordering the ring, you know it’s coming, I don’t see any problem with getting a head start on some planning! My boyfriend and I have gone ring shopping and are going to NYC in December to look one more time, but I’ve started some wedding planning already.

Pinterest-ing, looking up specific vendors on The Knot, not booking anything though. Haven’t told my boyfriend about it since I’d like to save all that talk for when we’re officially engaged just because I think it’ll be more special/real that way. 

Post # 6
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013 - Garden

I started getting my ideas together but I didn’t officially book anything until he’d officially asked. Purely because I wanted him to be able to have his moment in making it all official, and also because I wanted him to be involved in setting the date and whatever else he had an opinion on (not much it turns out)

I don’t have a problem with planning things early though, we’ve only just started TTC and I already have most of my nursery decor… Never really cared for superstition!

Post # 7
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Probably nothing wrong as long as you don’t go all bridezilla and start pressuring him or boring him with wedding stuff 24/7. Also, remember that things are not likely to go as you plan. My early daydreams use to involve him singing and me playing the piano for a big wedding of family and friends and now we are having a super tiny intimate wedding on a very hot afternoon. 

Post # 8
Member
37 posts
Newbee

I am also planning and putting ideas on pinintrest, we have talked about getting married in 2016, probably in the summer, due to school holidays and being able to get away for a honeymoon without taking the children with us. – We have 4 between us…..I don’t think its weird, it’s just excitement! Just not booking anything till we are official and have some cash saved!

Post # 9
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I don’t think it’s weird at all. While I never booked or bought anything while I was “waiting”, I contacted a few venues and looked at some photographers to get an idea of costs. This ended up being super helpful in creating a budget and considering when we could possibly get married, given what our budget is.

My then-boyfriend, now FI thought it was a little strange, but once I brought up costs and budget, he was all for me doing research 😀

happy planning!

Post # 10
Member
213 posts
Helper bee

I get the temptation but personally think you should enjoy the experience rather than rush it! looking on pinterest is fine but I wouldn’t go beyond that 🙂 

Post # 11
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I don’t think there is anything wrong with it, but I agree with PP’s who say that you should enjoy the process, and not rush ahead of yourself! Enjoy this last bit of time as boyfriend and girlfriend before the next step I reckon 🙂

Post # 12
Hostess
9892 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

shadowysewist:  I was ‘planning’.  DH and I were together 8.5 living together 6.5 before he proposed.  I chose to go back to school and that delayed the wedding because we both wanted a wedding (him more so than me, I suggested going to vegas more than once but he was having no talk of eloping).

Before we had picked a ring I used to show him places that were affordable, trying to make him realize we could afford the wedding we wanted, but I realized it wasn’t actually helping so I then just kept my hunting to myself (mostly).

Our journey to pick a ring took a while, we both wanted it to be perfect but once I knew he was really on board with the ring shopping I actually tried to tone down the wedding talk (although I kept pinning frantically), once we found THE RING it was really hard but I tried.  I looked at places and tried to get ideas.

Once we were actually engaged and planning I realized that a lot of the planning I’d done was pointless, turns out DH had some VERY specific ideas about certain things.  Our venue hunt was a nightmare and that was all on him.  Flowers, couldnt’ care less, the socks the groomsmen wore – HUGE deal.  The things he cared about were so weird to me, but they mattered to him so I went with it.

I guess, what I’m trying to say, is pin away, dream, but don’t really plan.  Men generally don’t seem to get on the planning bandwagon until after the ring is on your finger.

 

Post # 13
Member
3661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

If you and your SO have agreed that you are going to get married, then I think it’s fine for the most part. I wouldn’t go booking anything without your SO’s permission or anything like that, but just looking around and making a pinterest board and gathering ideas is ok. 

If you have not actually agreed to get married yet, then I wouldn’t start planning a wedding, as that may be jumping the gun a bit. It could end up hurting a whole lot more if it doesn’t actually turn out the he wants to get married. Obviously this is not the OP’s case, but I thought I’d add that in for the sake of the post.

Post # 14
Member
2017 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

shadowysewist:  I’m already planning mine without the proposal as well lol. We’ve got the stone as of yesterday but we’re getting a custom ring made so my wait will be (endless!) at least a few weeks. We have already decided on our wedding date so we’re planning and making moves in reverse of that lol…

I’m obsessed with Pinterest but I’ve moved more into where we would get dinner (planning on JOP ceremony) and approximate costs and guest list. haha I’ve shared it with him and at first he was a little bristly about it. He relaxed after I told him the cost and that I wanted to get a feel for what he expected out of it so I could save money/reserve the place well in advance since things fill up fast. He’s chill now 🙂

Post # 15
Member
2364 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

shadowysewist:  General pinteresting-ing and venue searching since what we were looking for was a bit hard to come by.  But don’t look at any dresses (at least, not in person!!)  I’m superstitious for one but also I think it’s in poor taste.  Take it all as it comes, you’ll do great! 

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