Is it weird that I'm fine with this?…Tell me what you think

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
534 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I think it’s fine that you’re okay with taking some time to sort things out as a couple…but it sounds to me like he’s saying he doesn’t want the two of you to be together.  If my fiance said that to me, I would NOT be okay with that at all.

Maybe you should get some clarity on his intent.  Is he saying you should break up or just take your time moving forward in your relationship?

Post # 5
752 posts
Busy bee

@MangoLover4Life:  Here is my honest answer: I think he’s trying to gently tell you that he wants out of the relationship..or that he lacks the courage to end it himself.  I say this because I cannot imagine a scenario where a man would say to his SO that she’d be better off with someone else!  

Also, WTF does “protect my heart” mean- like does he mean he can’t promise he won’t cheat on you?  That sounds sketchy as hell in my book.  

((Hugs))  Good luck   :/

Post # 6
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Hmm… I think you two need to talk this out.  There is a big difference between postponing your wedding until you’re in a better financial position and breaking up.   Lots of guys feel like they should be the breadwinner and I can understand him not feeling ready for marriage if he can’t at least carry his share of your expenses. 

I think it is weird that you’re okay with this, especially when it’s unclear.  The guarding your heart and protecting you part of what he said is strange and may point to some other reservations he has about getting married or something he hasn’t been honest about. 

Post # 7
2250 posts
Buzzing bee

@MangoLover4Life:  I hate to say it, but it honestly does sound like a way to get out of the relationship, but he doesn’t have the guts to do it, so he wants you too. I also think it sounds very strange that he doesn’t think he can “protect your heart”. Why does he feel that way? Proptecting your heart doesn’t cost a thing… I don’t really understand, are you guys actually engaged? Why did he propose if he didn’t think he was ready financially or otherwise?


Post # 8
1549 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I agree with both posters, and I think deep own you might thinking the same thing or you wouldn’t be posting here. It doesnt sound like he sees a future with you. I’m not sure if you’re truly okay with it or are trying to convince yourself that you are with excuses of being in school and young and no career. 

Pig t were me, I wouldn’t be okay with any of what was said, and would probably insist on a conversation for larification and then I’d be out.

Post # 9
6685 posts
Bee Keeper

@MangoLover4Life: I think it’s a  good plan.  Take a break and if it’s meant to be, it’ll be.  I would never want to be with someone who was not 100% committed.  In the meantime, you should get out there, meet other people, expand and broaden your horizons.  If you are just finishing school,  you may not have ever dated anyone else as the person you are now.  The last thing you want is someone who always wonders “what if” or “I should have.”    

Post # 11
4513 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think he wants out and is using the convenient excuse of not having a career/not being able to provide for you. What does having a job have to do with guarding your heart? If a guy says you should be with someone else I feel like its just that they want to move on themselves. 

Post # 12
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@MangoLover4Life:  it sounds like, while you love each other, neither one of you are overly committed to this relationship, and certainly not ready for marriage. marriage shouldn’t be about where you are in your careers or financial stability, but about your desire to want to spend the rest of your lives together.

It’s one thing to maybe push the wedding back until you are both more financially stable, particularly if you have certain expectations for the wedding…BUT to say you should be with someone else because he can’t provide for you in this moment and you being ok with that just screams (to me) that neither one of you are ready for this type of commitment.

I’m not saying i think there is anything wrong with that and it sounds like you guys have a great open honest relationship so maybe in the end it will work out for you two, but i’d definitely nix the wedding plans for the time being. 

Post # 13
1470 posts
Bumble bee

I’m confused…is he breaking up with you? If you’re fine with it…it’s not weird because it might mean that deep down you want to break up too.


Post # 16
2546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

If you’re ok with breaking up with him it means that you’re not in love, which is fine! Why would you be with someone if you’re not dying to be with them? Do whatever makes you comfortable 🙂

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