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Well, I only see my SO on the weekends becasue we live and hour and half away. So we are normal, i guess. But for you, it is normal to spend as much time together at first becasue it is new and exciting. So maybe you need to spice up the relationship, go on a date, do things you did when you first started dating. Most importantly TALK to him about how you feel, most likely he doesnt even know that you have a concern. The key to a great relationship is great communicatons !
Whether it's "normal" or not, it doesn't sound like you are feeling like you get enough time with him, and that's no good. Have you talked to him about it? What does he say?
"normal" is such a relative term.
It sounds like your SO is ok with that arrangement and doesn't need anything more. My advice is to talk to him and tell him you'd like more time with him. If he's not willing to do it, then that should tell you something about how important your needs are to him.
For me, 1x a week would be torture! But, it's not unreasonable if he has other commitments and an active lifestyle. At the same time, it's not unreasonable for you to want to see your SO more than 1x a week! IMO there should be a compromise there!!
@Oracle - Right on.
My boyfriend and I of 3 1/2 years often will see each other 1x a week despite living 15 minutes apart. I work probably close to 55 hours a week, have hobbies and other responsibilites. He's got a much more laid back schedule.
He started actually cooking dinner for us to eat together on our busy nights. He's gotten really cute about me doing work (at home) when I need to. He massages my feet while I'm typing, has brought me snacks/drink when i've been at it too long.
He realized that way when I'm done with my work,we're together to cuddle.
My fiance and I only see each other once a week as well, but that's because we're both students and he works as well, so it's understandable for us.
However, regardless of the circumstances, if you're unhappy then you really need to discuss it. You can throw it off now saying that it's just how it is, but it will continue to build until it gets resolved.
Good luck!
When you do see him, is it just for a few hours? Before DH and I got married, we only saw each other on the weekends (does that count as once), but we would spend all weekend together.
Does he spend Fri and Sat night with you? If not, I'd be worried he was seeing someone else.
It sounds like you want to see him more than he wants to see you. If this isn't enough for you, then you need to decide if it's worth staying with him. It's okay if you need more and he can't give it to you to leave him and find someone that *can* give you what you need.
SO and I only see each other once a week, we've been together about 2 years now. We live about 45 mins from each other and we have odd work schedules, I don't think it's abnormal, it's just what we can do. If we both had better paying jobs we'd have moved in together and would be planning a wedding, but I'm underemployed and he's underpaid. :-(
I've been with my SO almost 3 years. We live an hour apart, both have demanding jobs, houses, animals. We only see each other on weekends. We take turns going over to each other's place Friday evening after work and we depart company around 3:00 - 4:00 on Sunday.
I miss him, but honestly this arrangement is good. I get time to myself this way. We're talking about moving in together and although I am considering it......and there are other reasons besides this topic that I am not jumping on it........there is a part of me that kind of likes my time alone.
Normal is so subjective. It's all about what you want vs what he wants.
I see my FI everyday. He comes by in between school and work and spends the day with me on the weekends. I don't know what "normal" is but neither of us would be happy if we saw each other less than that....regardless, you don't seem happy about it
Well, in my experience, when my ex BF (of 4yrs) said he only had time to see me once a week, it was just a hop skip and a jump away from him breaking up with me. I think he was trying to either push me away or make me annoyed so I would break up with him because we grew apart. We lived about 20 minutes away from each other, and had always made the time to see each other at least three nights a week. i hate to be a downer, but (again my own personal experience talking here) if he wanted to see you, he would make time. If his priority always lies in the gym over his girlfriend of 4 years, well then I would take that as a big sign of how seriously he takes you and the relationship. I think you need to tell him you need to see him more, and see how he reacts. If his behavior doesn't change, I think you need to reassess the relationship.
I only see my FI on the weekends... well now he works weekends so we see each other Monday+ Tuesdays and with the amount of errands and things that have to get donw in those 2 days, I think we are lucky to get an HOUR of quality time together. We have been together for 8 years and it has always been like this only our days together have gotten super busy as of lately. We live apart as well until we have $$ to get a place of our own. I know how frustrating it is! I get so depressed sometimes over it but he says he doesn't understand why I can't just deal with the fact that we have no control over it.
I agree with Moose2010. If he wanted to be with you more he would. Men who want to be with you are actually with you, not making excuses about why they can't spend time with you. This will sound harsh, but to me it sounds like you consider him your SO but he considers merely considers you a woman he is dating, not necessarily "significant". Unless you are long distance, something is amiss.
I think it's a bit odd since it sounds like you guys live pretty close. Priorities.
Me and my SO only see eachother once a month Septemeber-May because i go to school 4 hours away. Believe me just cherish the time that you DO spend with him.
I live with my better half and have done so for just about the entire relationship (moved in together after 3 months).
I don't think I could cope with only seeing my partner once a week :( we miss each other if we have to stay apart overnight!
Everyone is different though. Are you happy with the arrangement? If you aren't, then you should probably discuss it with him.
I don't think there's such a thing as normal, but you need to do what makes the both of you happy. My SO and I don't have a history of spending a lot of time together, either. We've been together 3 years and we usually see each other 2 days a week. I'm in grad school and working while he has a full time job. We don't live together and both have our own pets. We're also both very social, so time is REALLY hard to come by.
I was always fine by that. I'm a very independent person, I've always been that way. A few months ago, he told me he was not okay with it anymore, that we needed to spend more time together. So I cleared one more full day for him. It means having to say "no" to more social stuff, but I also know that he's my priority. I'm not going to give up my life to see him 24/7, but if he needed that extra day, I'm happy to do it.
sounds to me it's about time you moved in together!
if my FI and I only saw each other once a week (and we lived in the same town), I'd have a serious problem with it.
I'd have a serious problem with it too, but that's just me. We're at this point where it's just assumed we hang out together. But if it works for you, then it works, right? You'll see each other every day after you're married anyway.
I see my FI twice a week if I'm lucky. He's busy with school, work and lives an hour away.
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In the begining we used to see eachother every single day ! Now its once a week , two times if im lucky. I understand he works 5 days a week and goes to the gym and has other responsibilities but i cant get over the fact that we only see each other once a week. fyi we dont live together...&jsut I feel that i want to see him more than he does me. Even if i come home tired as hell from being in school for 10 hours and he would call me to come out, i would, but if it was other way around i dont think he would;" never right timing " well i make the right timing buddy! aggg ok now im frustrated !
what to you guys think? is this normal and what should i do ?
need advice guys :/