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Is it weird that we rarely ever fight? Anyone else?

posted 8 months ago in Emotional
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    Busy bee
    JuneBride_26June2010    June 26, 2010   Indiana

    Ok - so I was talking to Mr. JuneBride tonight and we were discussing our best friends. She happens to be my MOH and her husband will be one of his groomsmen...

    Well - this morning I called her  and she said she'd been balling for the first few hours of the day because they had been fighting.

    Thing is - NORMALLY - what they fight over are very childish things. So it got him and I to talking...

    Mr. JuneBride and myself RARELY fight and in 2 years / 8 months of being together (plus now technically 3 months of marriage) - I can honestly count two times we got mad at each other - but worked it out that night. And both times it was over the same issue.

    I'm just not one to get mad at him for things. Ever. I'm a very complacent person when it comes to my friends and family. I CAN get very mad at co-workers (but don't say anything, i just call my mom up to complain to her - lol - but our relationship is like that, we call each other up when we're mad at other people and vent).

    For the most part though I DON'T ever yell at him or get angry - and even he's asked me before WHY i don't and he even thinks it's weird...

    I'm just curious if anyone else doesn't ever get angry at their SO. 

     
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    Buzzing bee
    eloping    June 23, 2009   Sydney, Australia

    my hubby and i never faught until we became engaged... then we were snapping at eachother until we decided to elope

    since we made that decision - no more arguments, sniping or hurt feelings

    we dont argue - yes i get moody and yes his personality is so easy going he usually hangs out in his office until im over it and then we can talk about it. we've only ever once had a full on argument with raised voices and even that didnt last long before we were both apologizing

    sometimes he frustrates me or i frustrate him but we both adult enough to say this outloud without making it a big thing

    and im glad... i was raised in a alcoholic household where communication was to yell and scream so im not going to have this in my home

     

     
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    Bumble bee
    mandalynn17    June 19, 2010   Medford, OR

    Oh sure, my man and I get angry from time to time.  Actually I would say frustrated is a better word.  But we don't fight much.  We tend to work things out quickly, don't let things get too far.  Plus we're both really laid back people.  I think we probably dated for 2 full years before getting in a fight.  We've had more since then, not many though.  I don't think it's weird. Every couple is their own entity and I think it's important to not measure your relationship against other peoples'.

     
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    Bumble bee
    Jenniphyr    August/September, 2012   Alberta, Canada

    We hardly ever fight. =) When we do, it's usually me who gets frustrated with him, and he just kind of sits back and lets me gripe at him until I'm done -- and then I feel awful and guilty, and he gets to make me feel better.

     
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    Busy bee
    JuneBride_26June2010    June 26, 2010   Indiana

    btw, i just realized there's a related post in relationships...  I just posted a response there - but still curious how many others don't fight! 

     
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    Bumble bee
    bluespurrs    08/07/09   South-central PA, USA, Earth

    My FI and I have been together for over 2 and 1/2 years and haven't had a fight yet. Oh we have gotten a little snappish with each other, then we seem to back off and then everything is right as rain again.

     
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    Helper bee
    sparkle    November 2009  

    We've had one huge fight that resulted in us not talking for a couple hours and one other small argument in the last two years. We both get frustrated but we work through it. 

     
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    Helper bee
    365    November 3rd, 2012   Ontario

    We rarely fight and if we do, it's almsot always worked out in the same day.

     
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    Future Mrs M    1-11-11   Michigan

    We don't ever really fight either. We have been together almost 2 years and have had one big fight that only lasted not even an hour. Sure I get hissy around that certain time of the month, but he always knows thats why and so he doesn't make a big deal about it. I look at these people who fight ALL the time and i just can't understand why you would want to be in a relationship like that.

     
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    Helper bee
    mambinki    October 17, 2009   Seattle, WA

    We get in little arguments here and there and they are usually resolved quite quickly.  We had to learn HOW to disagree though, which took a bit of time.  We're both pretty calm most of the time, but can get hot tempered when it comes down to it. 

    It used to be that I wanted to talk and talk and talk and he needed time to think and felt pressured.  So now we take it kinda easy on eachother when things start to get heated- he'll sit and talk even if he doesn't want to and I'll give him some time to think on it, even if I don't want to.  It actually works quite well. 

     
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    Buzzing bee
    moderndaisy    6-12-2010   Live in NYC, Wedding in Philadelphia

    It's all about learning how to communicate which avoids fights in the first place. We definitely had to learn, but now it's VERY rare if we even get ina slight argument.

     
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    Buzzing bee
    RoddyBride09    September 5, 2009   Bethlehem, PA

    My FI and I rarely fight as well. They really are disagreements that are always worked out. We never go to bed mad or wake up mad at each other. We always talk about things and never hold it in because that always makes things worse. This really works out for us. 

    @Future Mrs M: I completely agree with you. I could definitely not be in a relationship where fighting is the norm. I don't know how those people do it. I feel that puts too much strain on the relationship.

     
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    Crash    09/09  

    We hardly ever fight either. We've had 2 big fights, one where I very seriously considered breaking up, in our almost 5 years of dating. It's not that we agree on everything, but we do agree on basic values and ways of looking at things. We have friendly, respectful debates about the rest. I have never understood the mentality that fighting keeps it 'interesting.' It's already very interesting!

    It's nice to hear there are other couples who rarely fight too. We've just started premarital counseling, and the book and counselor both make us feel like weirdos (or in denial) for not fighting.

     
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    Blushing bee
    Thao    June 19, 2010   Columbus

    We rarely fight either ... at first I thought it was strange, since I was used to having, how shall we put it, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic">volatile relationships, but now I'm just happy with the way we communicate. I don't think fighting is a big deal as long as you can resolve it in a timely and thorough way. Congrats on having such a stress-free relationship! 

     
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    MyFavorite    June 2009   Springfield, MO

    We've been together for 7 1/2 years and have had very few arguments and maybe like one occasion I could possibly classify as a fight.  We usually talk things out pretty quickly and move on.  I used to think it was strange, but now I just think about how lucky I am to not have to deal with fighting and the aftermath!

     
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    Bumble bee
    maryjane    09/09/2009   Grand Forks, ND

    I don't think Mr. MJ and I ever fight. Occasionally (and I mean very occasionally/rarely) one of us will hurt the other's feelings, or we'll get on each other's nerves or get a little snappy, but we never yell or argue. We communicate pretty well, and if we disagree, we're good at being respectful about the way we exchange our opinions about things. I too have lots of friends who get in to yelling/crying fights with their significant others though; I don't know how i could deal with that.

     

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