Is it weird to elope, then have a wedding?

posted 2 years ago in Elopement
  • poll: Too weird to elope and have a wedding?
    Yes : (14 votes)
    67 %
    No : (7 votes)
    33 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    2390 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    I say if you want to elope go ahead and do that. Instead of saying wedding you can call it a vow renewal. 

    Post # 3
    Hostess
    10765 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    hwo0801: I haven’t but thnk it’s a great idea and kinda wished it’s something we’d looked into. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    1532 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I’ve been to three weddings were the couples were already married. But they only got married a few months prior.

    I’m really not a fan of it myself, so I voted Yes in your poll. But I felt it was relevant to tell you about all these people I know that eloped before their wedding. At all of them, they were trying to keep it a secret that they were already married. I suppose most of the guests were fooled. The ones that weren’t were a lot more understanding of it all than I was. 🙂

    Post # 6
    Member
    218 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic

    hwo0801:  If you want to elope you should just go ahead and do it. I think it’s okay to have a wedding later. A lot of people actually do this and keep it a secret so that they can save up or for other reasons. My fiancé and I are going to the court house before our wedding first of all because we’re having a destination wedding and a lot of times when you come back with your paperwork it turns out that you’re not even married because is not valid so we don’t really want to go through that.

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by  SilaC.
    Post # 7
    Member
    6332 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I don’t think it’s weird at all. I have a few friends that did this. They had to get legally married as soon as possible because their FI’s were in the military and they wanted to be able to live on base with them out of state/abroad, but wanted time to arrange for a traditional ceremony with all their family and friends that would happen later on.

    And they called the ceremony a “wedding” and again, I didn’t see it as weird. Honestly, I would have thought it was weirder if they called it a “vow renewal” because it had only been about a year after they eloped. I think of “vow renewals” and think of either couples who have been married awhile or couples who have gone through some struggles and want a re-commitment ceremony-type thing.

    Post # 8
    Member
    7754 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I think it’s disingenuous to call it a wedding when you’ve been married a year and a half- id just call it a vow renewal or a marriage celebration.

    Post # 9
    Member
    3301 posts
    Sugar bee

    Are you going to tell people you eloped? I don’t know, I guess I just don’t understand the point of both. Elope and have a party with friends and family to celebrate and take the pressure off of a “wedding” if you want, but to actually go through the song and dance of a wedding when you’ve been married for a year and a half already…..

    Post # 10
    Member
    6335 posts
    Bee Keeper

    FI and I are marrying on our own in the winter and then having a small celebration in the spring. Our family and friends are aware of how we’re doing it though initially some were confused. I think it’s the best of both worlds. However, in your case, since it will be more than a year between the official marriage and the “wedding,” I would call it a vow renewal or something else. Your perspective on your marriage will probably be much different a year out compared to when you were first married.

    Post # 11
    Member
    3335 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    I don’t know. I can see eloping and then having a traditional ceremony within a couple months, but a year and a half. After that long, presumably everyone will already know you’re married and calling it a wedding would be a bit weird. Perhaps a vow renewal would be better. 

    Post # 12
    Hostess
    10765 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    hwo0801: No not at all. We had 51 people, where I guess the average for a UK wedding is 70 – 100. It was a struggle getting to that number, but all the people there had had an impact on my life at some point or throughout.

    Post # 13
    Member
    6332 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Meh. I guess people here care more about what it’s technically called than I do. I don’t care if it’s called a wedding, a vow renewal, a ring around the rosie — potato potato. 

    Whatever it is, it’s a celebration of love and commitment with loved ones there to support you. And cake. (I hope.) I can understand wanting that and I can understand that with timing difficulties, it might not be possible for this to coincide with actually getting legally married. So it makes sense to me if the two things might not occur at once and I guess I’m in the minority that doesn’t care what the invitiation says it is.

    Post # 14
    Member
    184 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    I agree with TheGridMonster:. I don’t personally see a problem and think you should call it whatever you want! I’m going something similar – we are having an intimate cerermony in Feb (10 people) and then doing something bigger in July. Do whatever makes you happy and your friends/family should understand! 

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