Is it weird to get married through court and have a wedding months after?

posted 3 years ago in Legal
  • poll: Is it weird to get married through court and have a wedding months after?
    Yes : (33 votes)
    34 %
    No : (52 votes)
    54 %
    Kinda : (12 votes)
    12 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    6859 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    I don’t think it’s weird to have a reception and invite friends and family who weren’t able to be there for your wedding. But the courthouse wedding WAS a wedding.  To don a wedding dress and have another ceremony is redundant and a reenactment  in my mind.  If it is a religious ceremony and everyone involved knows the couple is already legally married, fine.  Have a great celebration party,  but  I still would not call it a wedding. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    8418 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @AdrianaLove:  I think it depends on how you do your courthouse ceremony.  If it is just a matter of paperwork (no dress, no invites, etc), a ceremony later doesn’t seem weird at all, just a matter of timing/logistics.  However, there are plenty of brides that have more than 1 ceremony for various reasons (i.e. 2 locations, military, immigration, etc).  I say do what you want and what you can afford comfortably.

    Post # 5
    Member
    5460 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @weddingmaven:  +1  I agree.  I would tread carefully if you plan on lying to your families about whether or not you’ll actually be getting married at your “wedding”.

    If you want to be married for legal/financial/immigration/military reasons right away, that’s fine.  What you will have later will be a vow renewal, marriage celebration, or marriage blessing if it’s religious.  Many regions have two separate events- one legal marriage and one religious ceremony, so that’s not strange at all, but there is no deceit on the part of the couple.

    Post # 6
    Member
    6504 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @weddingmaven:  +1

    TBH I wouldn’t do it unless there was a very good reason (legal/financial) at which point I would call it a reception versus a wedding.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2565 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Is there a reason you want/need to be married in November and can’t wait until June?  If you want to be married in June and have a more casual celebration/reception in June that is fine, but don’t repeat the ceremony for your friends and family because you are already married.

    Post # 9
    Member
    3514 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    @AdrianaLove:  I think whatever you and your husband are comfortable in doing you should do it. In my opinion it is not weird to have a wedding at a later date, plus who wouldn’t love to have two anniversaries more gifts lol

    Post # 10
    Member
    3223 posts
    Sugar bee

    Well there wouldn’t be a wedding later.  There would be a celebration, or possibly a vow renewal (though a few weeks later it would seem silly, IMO).

    If you are dead set on your date, then own it.  Tell people that what they are attending isn’t a wedding, but a celebration.  I have asked this question tons of times before but have never gotten an actual answer. 

    What is the benefit in lying to your nearest and dearest?  They are the people who should support you no matter what. 

     

    Post # 11
    Member
    334 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @AdrianaLove:  You’re going to get a lot of different opinions on this. I personally don’t think it matters at all. If it’s what you want to do, just do it. Someone will always be put off by any decision related to your wedding. Just make sure you decide beforehand who to tell, if it’s a secret, etc. 

    In my case:

    We had a city hall “wedding” in June that no one knows about except for our immeadiate families. No one was invited, I didn’t wear a wedding dress, and it was very informal. We’ve known each other for over 6 years, and he just didn’t want to wait. He was literally ready to get married the next day.

    On September 15, we’re doing the religious ceremony, and it’s going to be very small – 17 people total including us (parents, grandparents, best friends, siblings only). On September 21, we’re having the reception (and the guests were not invited to a wedding, I did write in celebration of our marriage or something along those lines on the invitations).

    The split between the 15th and 21st was more because of logistics than anything else. I’m wearing my wedding dress to both (so I do get to wear it more than once, I’m excited!). 

    Post # 12
    Member
    2720 posts
    Sugar bee

    Do what you want but don’t lie about it! Be prepared for people to not be as excited for your second wedding.

    My best friend got married in April due to immigration issues and then had another wedding in November. She had the dress, cake, flowers, reception, vows, etc. It was still special.

    WeddingBee is generally pretty anti-this sort of thing by the way so just keep that in mind when you read the responses.

    Post # 14
    Member
    122 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    We went down to the courthouse in 2011 and now we are having our religious ceremony/celebration/getting married through the church or whatever you want to call it next weekend. Everyone knows we already went through all the legalities. I’ve been calling our “celebration” next weekend a wedding and so has everyone else and it’s never been an issue.

     

     

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    484 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @AdrianaLove:  Is there a reason you dont want to completely do the entire ceremony at one time next year?

    I dont think there is a problem, but I know from experience someone will always have an issue with not being invited to the “real” wedding. I say if you do have one wedding and then ceremony later… dont tell anyone about the nuptuals!!!!

    Post # 16
    Member
    11712 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Unless there is a really good reason, I find this weird.  I also find it to be wrong if you do it in secret and pretend like the actual ceremony is in June.  It’s one thing to do it and own it, it’s another thing to do it and lie to your family and friends. 

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