Post # 1
So.. we were originally planning a destination wedding in Malaysia, but due to numerous factors we’re reconsidering. This question is long but please bear with me! TIA for any advice 🙂
We will be having a traditional Tamil-Hindu wedding, which would take place in the morning, and will likely be 2-2.5 hours long. In this particular scenario, it would be held at a temple, and snacks/non-alcoholic drinks will be served during, along with a lunch immediately afterwards. We’d also like to have a dinner reception.. and are debating on having it the same day, or the next day (we’re thinking memorial day weekend, ceremony/lunch on sat, dinner on sun). This is mainly because…
- Its a long ceremony. People might be tired/worn out
- FI and I will be wearing heavy traditional clothes, and will have been up on a stage next to a fire sweating for a few hours, after being pelted with rice/flowers (I am highly simplifying what will be a beautiful ceremony! ). He is a clean-freak and wants to shower afterwards
- Most guests are local and can just head home for a nap/whatever in the middle, but for those who are 1-2 hours away, it could be a hassle for them to go home in the middle and come back the same day for a reception (is it better to break it up into 2 days?)
- We will likely be doing decorating ourselves, and may need time to tear down/set up
- The lunch afterwards in the temple is “not enough”… FI’s main request is a nice reception, but at the temple it needs to be vegetarian, and we will be in a tent in the parking lot. FI (and I!) want nice yummy food with open bar capabilities for our friends to enjoy (we don’t drink) which is not possible at the temple. BUT if we have people there for several hours we have to feed them!
We are also considering just renting out the reception place early, have a morning wedding, then lunch there (so, can be non-veg, not in a parking lot, not have to feed people 2 meals, etc etc). Which is what I’m leaning towards but I wanted some input on the 2 day situation since that is what my FI is leaning towards. Thanks girls!! (If you agree with me let me know too please 🙂 )
Post # 3
A friend of mine is having a traditional wedding too and it does take forever! You could always let your guests know in their invites on a little note or something, what to expect. Tell them you would be thrilled if they make it, but understand that a very long ceremony plus small reception plus dinner reception makes it difficult for you to attend the whole day, please let us know which events you attend so we can plan appropriately.
I’m not digging the 2 day thing b/c honestly, I think you’ll end up with people attending one thing or the other, but probably not both. That is a WHOLE weekend just for you. Sounds great in theory, but while I could give up one whole for wedding festivities, I likely could not do both. It would be less convenient for you 1-2 hour away guests.
Could you rent a hotel room and clean up there before the dinner reception? How about planning something “lazy” for your OOT guests to lounge somewhere? I think having a nice lunch/afternoon reception would be fine.
Post # 4
I think your idea for a morning wedding and then lunch at a reception hall makes the most sense. That way, FI still gets his nice reception, and you don’t have to worry about the lapse of time. You could still do some snacks at the temple and then people could go to the reception hall. That seems like it would be the best flow for the day.
Post # 5
@ejs — actually, I was thinking of including a note letting people know it was totally ok to come for the most “important” part of the ceremony, which occurs closer to the end, so we’re on the same wavelength there!
The lounge room is a great idea, if we do end up having the evening reception the same day I will totally look into that. The “whole weekend just for us” I also agree with, but my FI is not as jaded as I am and thinks people will be genuinely happy to throw away any memorial day weekend plans 🙂
@ oracle — I agree 🙂 the only issue is FI and his wanting to shower in between… which I guess we could rush through cocktail hour? but we’ll have to work it out.
Post # 6
I voted for the 2 days wedding. But it’s true, people may just attend one and not the other. That is a tough one.
Post # 7
…here’s another idea – for the out of town guests, do you think they would want to/is it important for you to have them attend the ceremony at the temple? If not, would it be a big deal for them just to come to the dinner portion? That way, they will just arrive in time for the dinner and there is no need to worry about the gap.
It’s an inconvenience to your guests to have such a large gap between events, but you could very easily do the dinner reception (and perhaps have a friend/family member host the OOT’s at their home OR suggest activities, etc.).
My boss just went to a wedding 2 hours away and there was a 3-4 hour gap between events. He and some friends went to the movies and went shopping. A bit uncomfortable in wedding clothes, but they survived.
Personally, I’d much rather have a few hours to kill than to drive a long distance two days in a row.
Post # 8
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
Stick to one day, or you will lose a lot of people at one half of your wedding. I’d just do the lunch reception somewhere else and do it all in one day, without overtaxing yourself by having a second reception a few hours later.
Post # 9
In case anyone was curious, we’re back to having the wedding in Malaysia, which means I have no control over how anything goes at all 🙂 Thanks for all the input anyways!