Post # 1
My FI’s family (small family in NY – females include his mom, aunt and cousin) is not accustomed to bridal showers. I don’t think they’ve ever been to one or had one. Also, I don’t have a close relationship with my FMIL. We’ve never had an argument or anything but I am just not that close with her, it may be a generation gap or whatever. I was thinking about my bridal shower and whether or not I should invite FI’s female family to the shower. I don’t want them to feel obligated to get me a gift and am not sure if they would enjoy the activities/games at these showers.
Any thoughts? Anyone in a similar situation?
Post # 3
I think you should invite them. Although you think they might not be comfortable with attending, it would probably make them feel really sad and left out if you don’t invite them at all. And you don’t want to start out the wedding on a wrong foot, right? I think in cases like this it is probably better to extend the invitation and let THEM decide if they want to attend.
Post # 4
I think you should invite FI’s family members, especially your FMIL. She may be hurt if she finds out later that she was not invited. Also, if you are not that close with her, it might be a good opportunity for you to bond.
Post # 5
I would invite them, especially your FMIL, like Erindesmar said, her feelings might be hurt and you don’t want to start the relationship with her off on a bad foot.
Post # 6
I would. You might distance yourself even more from them if you don’t. If they don’t want to come, they’ll RSVP no. Just this past weekend, FI’s cousin had a shower, which she didn’t invite me to. I’m not sure if I was supposed to be or not, but it doesn’t really make me feel included on that side of the family.
Post # 7
If it is nearby I think you should invite them. My aunts are having a shower for me in STL and my FMIL lives in Maine. Actually half of our guest lis lives on the east coast. They only invited people who are in St. Louis and Missouri. I know that my FMIL is NOT the type that would fly out for my shower. If I were having an east coast shower I would invite her though.
Post # 8
I would say invite them, this is your chance to reach out to them.
Post # 9
Definitely invite them. If they don’t want to come, they can decline the invitation. But if you just assume they don’t want to come, you may hurt their feelings.
Post # 10
I would invite FMIL and FSIL. Is she OOT from where the shower will be? I would think it would be one thing if she was throwing you her own shower, local to her. But since she is not, I think you should invite her to the one you are getting. (You don’t want to risk straining your "not so solid" relationship.) And you can always mention to her that you certainly don’t want her to feel obligated to go, if it’s inconvenient.
Post # 11
- Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country
I would definitely invite them! Better safe than sorry… a non invite to your son’s future wife’s bridal shower could definitely hurt feelings.
Post # 12
penguin pulled the thought right out of my head. it’s definitely better to be safe than sorry plus it could help bring you closer together.
Post # 13
I would agree with pp. Invite her.
I was pondering whether or not to invite my FMIL because she lives in Alabama while the we’re out here in California. I just didn’t want her to feel obligated to get me a gift. But then I thought, maybe she would want to come, and it might be a good opp to get to know her better.
It can’t hurt, right?
Post # 14
I would invite your FMIL and any of your FI’s close female relatives – i.e. sister, grandmother, etc. If they aren’t throwing a shower for the groom’s side, they should be invited to the big shower. Even if they can’t make it, it’s a nice gesture. And, if they can, it gives the other women in your family and his a chance to meet and mingle before the wedding!
Post # 15
- Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!
I think you should invite them. It might come across as rude if you don’t. :-/
Post # 16
You really should invite them. It will be really nice on your wedding day if his family has already met your friends and family!