Post # 1
i am not engadged yet, but we are talking alot about the ring. he knows what i want, and its pretty pricey, also very specific. he is going to propose with a “holder ring” but anyways i told him i would pay half of my ring. i dont want him to be in debt just because i want a certain ring. he is happy with just a plane band, so why cant i be? right? but i want a crazy big sparkly ring. so is it weird that we share the cost? has anyone else done something like that?? if im going to be wearing it forever i want it to be exactly what i want. is it mean of me? should i just let him buy what he can afford? please help!
Post # 3
This is an interesting question. I know that, personally, I was definitely waiting for Fiance to buy the ring and propose, but now that we’re actually engaged and wedding planning, we consider our debts and our incomes ‘our money’ already. So really, if you two plan to join finances after the engagement/wedding and pay for the wedding together, then I don’t know that there’s a ‘moment’ that his and yours becomes yours together. Buying a ring together shouldn’t be weird, especially if he pays for it all and then you combine…that money’s still gone anyway. Is he comfortable having you help out? That is a very important question to discuss with him.
Post # 4
both hubby and i paid for my ering and wedding band – i really didnt think for it to be done any other way, it seemed unfair to expect him to drop $$$$ just because i wanted pretty shiney thing. i see us as a team and that means financially as well
Post # 6
@eloping: thats great thankyou for telling me that!
Post # 7
thanks for your input. i did bring it up to him. and like i said i make more money. also i have no debt. he said he was really fine with it if thats what i wanted to do.
and yes that makes sence, once we are married, it is our money. so really him being in more dept, puts me in debt. 🙂 i will be paying for the ring anyways! haha i never thought of it that way.
he is still picking the holder ring and the proposal is going to be a suprize. then we will go out together and get rings. the ring i want i cant find anywhere and we are getting it custom made. also im not gonna be like ” oh heres some money, now get get me a ring and propose” that would be weird.
we are very untraditional, and i dont have a problem at all splitting the cost. it should be about both people. and even. 🙂
Post # 8
It’s not weird at all, in my opinion. You’re the one who has to wear it and look at it everyday. You should love it, and if you and your SO don’t have a problem splitting the cost, then go for it. And like the PPs said, it’s really only a matter of time before your money and his money are combined, anyway.
Post # 9
I think it’s perfectly logical to share the cost, that’s what your really doing since you’re getting married anyway- no matter who pays for it, it’s all coming out of both your money… my fiance bought my engagement ring- yesterday I told him I wanted to go buy our bands soon…. his reaction was “Shouldn’t I buy your wedding band?”- I just looked at him & said”Really, what does it matter who does it?”
Post # 10
When I first read the title of this post I thought the “sharing the cost of the rings” you were referring to was asking the actual cost of someone’s rings…lol
I see nothing wrong with it. We’re both going to be paying on our wedding bands equally. This is best for us so we can really get what we want.
Post # 11
Consider the ring your first major purchase together. I think it’s a good idea to split the costs, especially since rings are quite expensive.
My engagement ring was inherited, but I needed a new band. I put that cost into our wedding budget, to which we are both contributing. Our wedding bands are coming out of that same account.
Post # 12
In essence I paid for both of our rings, but since my husband moved countries to marry me and live here, I consider and have considered, my money is his. 🙂 You have to do what works for you and your situation.
Post # 13
I honestly don’t think it’s weird at all. But…I might be in the minority. My husband and I were a bit different than most of our friends. We never really dated, etc… We were friends at first and did everything together and one day realize that we wanted more and from that point on, it was like we were married b/c we were so comfortable wtih each other. Within a month of being together as a couple, he moved in. Right after that, we put our money together (granted, we were really poor and didn’t have much) and I’ve been in charge of our money ever since (he’s bad at balancing the checkbook/keeping track) and it’s been almost 12 years. I did get a family ring b/c that was free but when we got our bands, we just used our money. I know alot of couples still keep their money separate and that works best for them but if you have your money together, I really don’t see it as being weird in the slightest. Best of luck!
Post # 14
Do what works for you! The ring is a really big and emotional purchase… I think it is great that you’ve talked through both of your wants and needs and have found a solution that works for you both.
Post # 15
I agree: do what works and makes you happy. Definitely not weird.
Post # 16
For my husband and I we already had combined finances so technically I did pay for my ring as well.
I personally have no problems with it especially since you are asking for something specific and pricey.