Is it worth the family?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
511 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Your Fiance needs to stick up for you. If they are going to attack you every time you’re alone you shouldn’t have to be around them, and he shouldn’t get angry at you for it! This is a totally inappropriate way to treat his future wife and he needs to sit them down and tell them he’s not going to stand for it. If he’s not willing to do that and if he keeps defending his parents when they’re acting so horribly, then I WOULD start questioning if he’s the guy for you to marry. Don’t you want someone who will be on your side?

Post # 4
4757 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

It’s not the family, it’s how he is with the family. He could have a crazy psycho family and if he realizes that and doesn’t get them too involved in your life then it doesn’t matter. But if he lets them treat you badly and doesn’t recognize the problems they’re causing, then it’s going to be a life-long issue. Sure everyone wants the “perfect” in laws, but that rarely happens. My MIL is not what I imagined, but she lives across the country and is not that involved in our lives and it works out just fine. If we lived close by and my husband let her come over all the time, it would be a different story.

Post # 7
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

These people sound crazy, but if you love your FI, I wouldn’t go anywhere.

I would make it clear that you’re not going to tolerate their behavior, though. Like things better change pronto or you’re not going to visit them. You might want to explain to your FI that this means issues with future grandkids, holidays, etc… and he may want to remind his parents of this. It sounds like they have no reason to treat you the way they do… and if you let them do it, this will be a pattern for life.

I would not go visit them without your FI, and your FI needs to stick up for you more.

Post # 8
3635 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@anxiously_waiting:  I was going to say MOVE, but once you do things will get better.  Not 100%, but much better once they are out of your everyday business. 

My in-laws live in China, it’s awesome.  🙂 

But really – just keep them out of your business.  Only tell them good things about each other, happy news, and keep them away from anything to do with your money, and any of your disagreements. 

Post # 11
1626 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Lol, my FMIL drives me up a wall. Thankfully, she lives across the country.

If they lived close and we saw them all the time, I probably would have turned tail and run.

One thing to look out for, though, when you move, is you being blamed for you two moving away. They’ll probably pin it on you and make it your fault because you don’t like them and want to take their baby away from the family.

Post # 12
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

My suggestion would also be to move! A friend of mine had to do the same thing because her husband’s family is cray cray. Now, she can avoid their phone calls if she wants and doesn’t have to worry about them dropping by.

Post # 15
2132 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

If he’s the one for you, by all means marry him, then move the hell away from his crazy family!!

I’m so glad that my FI is willing to be with me despite my crazy family, and doesn’t expect me to start a fight with them every time they do stupid shit, because that would not get anyone anywhere.

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