Post # 1
Is it wrong to tell your FI that you won’t marry him until you’re moved out of his mom’s and on our own? I mentioned it to him and he kinda fell silent. I mean, I think it’s sweet that he wants to buy his mom a farm house but shouldn’t we be worried about us? I mean he went as far as to tell his mom that if we buy a big enough house that WE COULD MOVE IN WITH THEM! Now ladies, please keep in mind.. I want to have kids one day, and not have someone breathing down my neck for the rest of my life. I do understand it’s his mom but at times it seems like all he cares about is his family. ie: his mom went in to the hospital cause of her blood pressure (turns out everything is ok) and he took THREE days off of work to be with her.. My mom went in to the hospital and had surgery (that which they said could kill her) and I mentioned takine ONE day off of work and he said we couldn’t afford it. (She’s home now, in lots of pain but doing much better!)
OH and one more thing, I accidentally left my keys at the house when riding in to work with the FI cause I never need my keys and it so happened that I needed them, so I called his mom to see what I could do to get in and instead of helping me figure it out, she went all “How would you like to go 16 hours without peeing” (ONE, it was 8 and a half. TWO, it’s no different than any other time) and I hung up on her so OF COURSE she calls my FI and tells him this whole blown up story about how I should just stamp my keys to my head and that I’m not responsible. LIKE OH MY GOD! PEOPLE FORGET THEIR KEYS *ALL THE TIME*
Oh and he says we’ll move out on our own, but then in the same day, he’ll tell his mom we could move in with her if we buy her a big enough farmhouse.
I’ve talked to him about it but can never seem to get a straight answer.
***Well this was just gonna be about moving out but I went on and on, oops!
Post # 3
I’m going to be blunt about this, and mostly because this is one of the things I cannot stand in a man – tell him it’s time to cut the cord!!!!
Post # 4
You are 100% right. It is not okay for him to be acting this way and taking her side over yours in all of these situations! You two will be your own family soon and that should come first. I would just have a serious talk with him alone and tell him how it needs to be for the relationship to be successful. I would have a COW if my husband suggested moving his parents in with us. There is no way I would even consider it, so you already have more patience than me! Good luck girl!
Post # 5
Your marrying a Momma’s boy. I would have a serious talk w/ him to see if he’s saying those things just to make his Mom feel better or does he really mean it. If his mother has always relied on him(Her Knight in Shing Armour), its going to be difficult for her to let go.
She sounds like a Drama Queen and you’re stepping on her territory. I would start looking for places for you both to move in before the wedding and tell him your plan. You can always live locally to assist her but you have to have your own space.
Post # 6
I would make sure he understands you are not moving in with his mom no matter how big the house is before you get married.
Post # 7
I completely agree! It’s just hard cause I understand he’s the baby and how none of her other kids talk to her (it’s a wonder why!) but he’s 21.. IT’S TIME TO MOVE OUT! And I already told him I am putting a pause on our wedding until we have a date set in stone that we are moving out
Post # 8
I know how you feel and I agree with you! It is time for him to let go, There is a time in a man’s life where he has to stop constantly worrying about his mom and start worrying about the family he is starting with his wife. That is just my opinion.
Post # 9
I think he should be you a house before he buys his mom a house. It’s fine that he’s living with her now… but the whole situation you described it a little overdone IMO. I think you should talk to him and say, this is what I want to happen if we’re going to get married. Each parent has to be taken care of equally, so if I have a concern with my mom, then I should be able to help her. And if you buy your mom a house, maybe my mom should get one too 🙂