Is it wrong that I am upset with my fiance?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

His snarky comments are uncalled for, but if he used up all his days off what do you expect him to do?  Many jobs you get a set number of vacation days, and once they’re gone that’s it.

Post # 4
Member
2059 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

hhmmmm. i think if he has used all of his leave to be with you when you were sick, thats a valid reason. it sucks he wont be able to come (and his snarky comments are unnecessary) but he was at the first wedding, and now he doesnt seem to have much choice since he has no leave left. its just one of those sucky things in life but i dont think you should make him feel worse about it TBH

Post # 5
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

i would be upset too, but if he cannot get the time off, it isn’t his fault 🙁 Will you have other family there?

Post # 6
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@soontobemrsmix:  His comments are out of line and I would be upset with him for that. However, if he doesn’t have the days off, he can’t go, period. Yes, he already knew about it but let’s say he scheduled the day off to be at the wedding but then you were in the hospital… should he have NOT been there with you one day so he didn’t use up his day off? 

I sat at my sister’s bedside while she was in a coma for 10 days…. if she then got pissed at me for not having the days off to do something important with her later I’d think she lost her mind. 

Post # 7
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

It’s one thing if he doesn’t have the time to take off work to go.  I suppose there’s not much you can do about that, but he should have planned for it. 

The real issue here is that he is super judgmental and rude.  Does he have no empathy for others?  Does he not want your sister to provide a nice home for her family?  What the hell is up with his attitude?  I hate when people act all high and mighty.   She is your sister for god’s sake. 

 

Post # 8
Member
3394 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@soontobemrsmix:  Being that when my own grandmother dies (which will be sometime soon) and I know that I can’t afford to take days off work and have no way to get to see her before she dies or go to her funeral, I’m gonna say that he has a vaid excuse. Some things just can’t be done. It’s not fair to expect him to make himself look bad at work trying to take more days off just to attend a 2nd wedding in a year. If I were him I would also have a little trouble taking this situation seriously. BTW I’m on my 2nd wedding, so I’m not saying 2nd weddings aren’t as important as 1st weddings, just that she just got married last year and divorced and is now remarrying? Come on. And now you’re mad at him for not bending over backwards for your sister. Give the guy a break. And the revealing dress issue should be directed at your sister.

Post # 10
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@soontobemrsmix:  His comments were out of line, but if he used up all his days how do you expect him to take time off? I supposed he can’t see the justification in taking days off, especially if he can still have them off but without pay.

Post # 11
Member
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

You shouldn’t be mad at him.. if he DID us up all his vacation days with YOU…. why would this be an issue??

Unless you want him to quit and attend the wedding and you’re willing to care for him financially if he doesnt have a job.. then OK

Post # 12
Member
2368 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

His comments are definitely rude, is there not more to the story or to the conversation they come from? However, I guess I agree with him a little bit – if she already married her husband last year then they’re married and I am of the school of thought that you don’t get to elope/do a courthouse wedding and THEN have the big party down the road, just my opinion of course.

But really, no matter what he or I thinks about her marriage, if he doesn’t have vacation time what do you want him to do? Quit his job? Risk being fired? I really don’t understand your position here.

Post # 14
Member
3417 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I can see his side.

Plus you can’t get water from a stone- if he has used up his days, he has used them up!

If they are already legally married then this is just a party he is missing essentally, which is not a big deal.

Post # 15
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@soontobemrsmix:  Your hospitalization isn’t an “excuse”, it’s the reason he can’t go. I mean, I get if you’re feeling a little guilty or whatever that something that happened to you caused him to not be able to go to your sister’s wedding, but you shouldn’t feel bad about it and neither should he. He took the time off for the most important thing- supporting you at a critical time. You’re an adult and you can figure out how to be in an unfamiliar city on your own. You can’t get mad at him for not having any more time off. He didn’t plan for you to get sick. 

Post # 16
Member
8708 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

His comments are uncalled for, but if he has no more time off, he has no more time off. He can’t just magically get more.

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