Is It Wrong To Not Want Certain Family At My Wedding?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
802 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest

@bluberrycait:  you definitely don’t need to invite them. I started a board the other day about something similar. It’s your wedding, you can invite whoever you want!

Post # 5
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012 - Chapel of Flowers

@missamysmiles:  +1

@bluberrycait:  it is yoir wedding you can invite (or not invite) who you want! I don’t have much other advice because I eloped to avoid issues. Good luck & stand your ground. 

Post # 6
1102 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Yeah, don’t invite cousins that treat you like that.


I’ve got a few cousins that don’t like me for totally stupid reasons and are holding grudges over something I said years ago (which wasn’t even that bad), and yet they’re STILL offended that they didn’t get invited to my wedding !


If they even ask you why they didn’t get invited just tell them that it’s because of what you said in your original post / or you had to limit numbers. 

Post # 7
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@bluberrycait:  When we got married, we did ultra close friends, immediate family, and grandparents.

One Aunt replied with “Whatever. BrandNewBride and I never got along anyway. But when (my sister) gets married, I am GOING to be there!”

My mother was in shock that my Aunt would admit to not liking me, but I was just happy! It confirmed my decision not to have her awful self there!

Post # 8
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@bluberrycait:  It all depends on your extended family dynamic. But in many families, inviting some family members but not others, when they are equally “close” on the family true, can lead to long term resentment. So no you don’t legally have to invite them, but do you want to deal with the long term fallout?

To be honest, the reasons you offer don’t sound like good ones. Birthday parties aren’t the same as weddings – the guest lists aren’t as big – so not being invited isn’t such a big deal. Nor do I think it’s that big a deal if one of them is dating someone who doesn’t like you.

Judging solely from what you’ve written, I would invite them. (Assuming you are inviting other cousins).

Post # 12
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

 It’s your wedding and you should invite whoever you want. if you feel these family members have not been supportive or positive people in your life (regardless of them being family) don’t invite them. Invite those that truely are happy for you, screw everyone else! 

Post # 13
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I’m only inviting 1 of my 9 first cousins. I’m close to him, I’m not close to the others. I’m also inviting my dad’s cousin and her four kids (my second cousins). It’s really about sharing the day with people who love and care about you, and it sounds like most of your cousins and my cousins do not fit the bill. And that’s okay 🙂 My fiance is inviting a ton of cousins, but he’s close to all of them.

Post # 14
587 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I didn’t invited a lot of my cousins because quite honestly I havent even seen or spoken to them in 10 years or more and they live lifestyles I do not agree with so why would I? Don’t feel bad at all. Not all family dynamics are peachy all of the time just invite those you WANT there you can’t please everyone so don’t go crazy trying to

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