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Oh man. Tough call. Can you find something REALLY similiar? Different line, a little different?
Ouch, that's a tough spot to be in. If she was a really good friend of mine, I'd probably keep looking for a dress, one that's similar perhaps. But she will inevitably feel awful if you get the dress simply because you're getting married first. I'd be devastated if it happened to me. I'm sure you can find something comparable. I guess you could ask her how she'd feel, but be prepared for her to be possessive of the dress.
I know I'm in the minority in this, but I would be ok with wearing the same dress as my friend. It might be worth asking her even though odds aren't in your favor. Otherwise, I'd say you should be a good friend and look elsewhere.
I would be fine wearing the same dress but only as long as she is. I think that most girls would not be ok with it and while she may not say anything, she would probably be upset. Maggie dresses tend to look similar to each other sometimes. I think the best thing to do is take a picture to a bridal salon and ask for something similar, but not the exact one. When I tried on dresses, I ended up narrowing it down to 3 that were all almost exactly the same but had a touch of difference. One had straps, one was satin and one was taffeta but they all had the same exact look. I'm sure you can find something very similar that would avoid upsetting your friend.
I also would like to say that I think it's a bit weird that she already tried on the dress and isn't engaged. Cart before horse?
Don't do it! There are millions of dresses out there, and many of them are similar. Think about what you would do if she did that to you! It's kind of stealing her thunder in a way, and making her feel less special about the details she chose.
Now, she's not engaged yet so she hasn't really decided yet and has time, so if you really really want it, TALK to her beforehand to see if that's the dress she'll still want, even a few months down the line. Don't be sneaky about it...you could lose yourself a bridesmaid & friend.
If I were you, I'd take a pass on the dress. It is clearly a very big deal to her and this is oen of those big 'friend' favors you do for each other. And in the grand scheme of things, really no big deal. There are millions of dresses out there, you can get exactly the same style from a different designer.
IMO it is not a good idea. there are a ton of dresses out there, maybe just aviod that one. Or leave it as a last resort. If you are really set on it... talk to her and see how she feels.. you never know.
This is a tough spot especially since she picked you to go look at this dress with her. Some girls might be ok wearing the same dress (even you) but your friend might not be. I'd try to find a similar one to the dress she loves or if you're dead set on that dress ask her but I wouldn't expect a positive outcome since it sounds like she is head over heels for this dress.
I think the question is to ask yourself how would you feel if she did it to you? I'm guessing you'd probably be upset by it. Any other dress may be not a big deal but I'd think this one would be.
If you really want to try it on. If you really think that there's even the slightest possibility that you might want to buy this dress after you've tried it on. Talk to your BM. She deserves that much I think. It's hard - but like many others said there are millions of other dresses out there so unless you really want to give this dress a go then I'd leave it and walk away.
I wouldn't do it!
My GFs mean so much more to me than a dress that I would let her have the option of that dress and move on! There are so many dresses out there I am sure you will find one you love!
I agree ... don't try on the dress. There are so many choices out there! You'll find something else you love without jeopardizing your friend's feelings!
Dont do it! I was dress shopping with a friend who is also getting married and we had this discussion... please dont do it LOL
Definitely do not try it on. I am imagining what would happen if you DID buy the dress and your friend came on here posting... can you imagine? She falls in love with a dress and takes her girl friend with her to try it on, and then the girl friend buys the dress and wears it first?! Your friendship is worth so much more than the dress.
Stay away!! haha I would definitely go look for something similar, but not the exact one. It is somewhat odd to be trying on dresses before she is engaged, but if she already loves it I wouldn't want to jeopardize your friendship over a dress.
Haha these posts crack me up! You guys are so right...I don't think I will try it on. It's funny to think about it like &CorgieTales said...I can see the aftermath unfolding. It's not worth it! And you all are like "Don't do it!!!!" It actually made me laugh!
@fanatic888...yes I agree very Cart before Horse but that is how she is. She gets her mind set on something and she has to have it right now! The worst part is I know she will change her mind because she always does that as well...but oh, well...like you all said there are plenty of dresses!
Thanks for the advice...and the laughs!
I would say think about what if the roles were switched. There are so many beautiful dresses and you know how beautiful it is because you've seen it on and she may not be engaged but it doesn't make her dream wedding any less relavant. I think you should find a different dress.
Don't do it. I bet its hard, but I would be crushed if you bought the dress I knew I wanted. Regardless of her engagement situation its her dream, you don't want to take that away from her. I know it seems petty, but a lot of friendships are lost over pettiness.
I agree with others--don't do it. One of my friends just got engaged and I'm still waiting. If I had felt close enough to her to show her the actual dress that I dreamt of wearing on my wedding day and she went and bought it I'd probably be a little bitter towards her and would never feel comfortable sharing other things with her again.
It's bad enough when vendors and random strangers make you feel like what you envision as your wedding day doesn't matter/is up for grabs because you aren't engaged yet. To have a friend pull the rug out from under you because "Well you didn't get engaged first so you can find another one" just sucks. Does your dress really have to be her dream dress?
I guess, she has dibs, but you should talk to her about it if it truly is the one for you.
If she is not even engaged yet, and she is a good friend, she may give you the go ahead to use it.
Besides there will be a new line of dresses when it is her time. Then you can be jealous of her dress and the cycle will be complete! j/k
I would never steal someone else's dress, I wouldn't even consider it. The fact is, she pointed it out first, and it would be absolutely horrible to rip it out from under her, because there's no way that she can wear the dress for her wedding if you've worn it first, and again, she was the one that found the dress, and you know full well that she's in love with it. If someone did that to me, I would never forgive them for it. It's like stealing a baby name. It's a once in a lifetime thing. Wouldn't you feel horribly betrayed if someone did that to you?
There are sooooo many dresses out there. You can find a dress that you love yourself.
Interesting update to this post....so the same girl mentioned above called me crying yesterday because her BF broke up with her!!!! How horrible is that!
I wasn't planning to try the dress on anyways, but now I couldn't even imagine it! What a punch in the gut if she would see me walking down the aisle in that dress...all she would think about is her ex-BF.
She even told me yesterday, after not even knowing I liked the dress she had picked, "Well I guess now you should try my dress on, beings I won't be needing it...it would look great on you!"
Still...no.way.no.how! Thanks for the help though...I knew all along it was wrong, I guess I just needed affirmation. Thanks!
I agree, don't risk it. there's surely something out there just as good if not better :O)
Wow what a turn of events! Stay away.
But still - what Maggie dress was it?
Yikes! This story is so heart wrenching and agonizing in so many ways. And, you never know what could happen so I agree with you that it's best to stay away from the dress. 
The dress is beautiful! It reminds me of some Essence of Australia dresses, especially because they are flexible with adding a strap, etc. (from what I hear)..perhaps they are worth checking out. (For example: http://www.essensedesigns.com/dress.php?id=139)
Good luck with your dress search!
oooh that's my dress! and it is FABULOUS! it comes in three different colors...if you tried it on and LOVED it (like i'm sure you will), you could always order it in a color different than what she would have ordered. or, if you're into the whole fate thing...maybe your friend showed you this dress and her relationship fell apart because you were MEANT to wear this dress ;-) if that sounds silly, please keep in mind that this is my dress and i dream about it every single night since it won't be here until march. so, i am totally, COMPLETELY biased!
also, the fiorella is available without the strap....but if you've seen it in person with all of its swarovski crystal awesomeness, i can't imagine how you could live without it ;-)
I wouldn't do it! You definitely shouldn't buy this dress (your friend would feel absolutely awful!!), and if you just try it on and like it more than other dresses, you will feel much worse than you do now. So I think it would be better not to risk it.
I'm sorry that happened to your friend!!! Thats a beautiful dress though, but your right, if she saw you walking down the aisle in that dress, she would think that was her dress and think of her ex. I'm sure it would bring tears to her eyes while shes up at the alter standing beside you as a BM!! And I'm sure you don't want that at your wedding...could you imagine the drama!
Yes its wrong...stay away from that dress....it could ruin a friendship.
Oh no! I'm sorry her BF broke up with her. I'm glad you chose to stay away from the dress though (sounds like a new tv show - Stay Away From The Dress! Hehe) but I think you're right, not only is it for the best but also know she'd only spend your whole wedding thinking of her ex-BF.
Wow that is CRAZY that that happened! It is a beuatiful dress but it's been tainted--just tell yhourself you can do better! In situations like this, i just tell myself I know how bad it'll look on me and make myself believe it, lol.
I just read the update...late to the show..sorry. Awww how horrible for her but I'm glad you're taking the high road and staying away from that dress.
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So one of my good friends (she is also a bridesmaid) fell in love with a beautiful Maggie Sottero dress that she saw in a magazine a few months ago. She is not engaged yet, but is thinking she will be this winter. She had me come with her to try this dress on (I was not yet engaged either). I saw her in it and it looked amazing! She said she knows that she will choose that dress when they finally do get engaged.
The problem is that I think I love the dress too. I at least want to try it on just to see, but then I am afraid I will love it and want to buy it. I couldn't do that to her though, especially beings she is one of my bridesmaids...but she is not even engaged. And what if once she is engaged she finds a different dress??
I need help!