(Closed) Is lying ever acceptable? Needing some help.

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
3525 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I’d be PISSED (about the looking-in-the-eyes-and-lying more than anything else). Looking you straight in the eye and lying shows a lack of respect for you, which isn’t cool.

ETA: Other posters have made good points, though–how do you know for sure he was lying? That he got so defensive makes me wonder, but do you know without a doubt that he lied?

Post # 4
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

How do you know for certain that he is lying?? I’m not saying that he’s not, but trying to put myself into the situation, he may have just been frustrated. I agree, it seems he’s hiding something, but I’m really not sure what. I know my husband wouldn’t hide anything, but I’ll be honest that I don’t even know how to view internet history on a cell phone.

Post # 5
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I would give it a few weeks then check his phone. He will relax his guard again and then you can find out what he is really up to. I don’t believe in wondering. I would rather just know.

Post # 6
Hostess
18646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I agree with MrsSl82be.  How do you know he is lying?  Have you had problems with this before?

Does he know you are okay with porn?  If that’s the case why would he even lie about it?

Post # 8
Hostess
18646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Maybe it was something else?  Like he was looking for a present for you and cleared his history so you wouldn’t see?

Post # 9
Member
3525 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@feelingstupid: Does he realize it’s a problem? And if so, what steps (if any) has he taken to improve his attitude toward you?

Post # 10
Member
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I agree with secondchances; wait a week or so and check it while he’s in the shower.

Post # 13
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

@feelingstupid:There is  something called privacy. If you continue to ask him a question he does not want to answer, what do you expect? It does not mean he is shaddy. It means he may not want you looking through his phone. Whatever the history is has nothing to do with you or violation of the relationship. He could be googling something silly/embarassing and it’s fine for him to do so. Must you know every google he makes? If that’s the case, the issue is trust not the phone. Relax. He may be googling ass hair for all you know.

Post # 14
Member
3525 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@feelingstupid: That would be a huge dealbreaker for me. I’d recommend going to therapy by yourself, but if he’s not willing to work on it, it will not get better.

Post # 15
Member
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

While I agree that his phone and what he does with it are private and are his business, I have an issue with the fact that lack of respect has been a huge problem for you two. That would be a dealbreaker to me. And the way you described his method of “handling” conflict — well, that sort of behavior is honestly pathetic in a grown man. I think you and your SO have much bigger issues than just him hiding stuff on his phone.

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