(Closed) Is my bachelorette party idea reasonable?

posted 5 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
460 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

That would be steep for me. If most of the bridesmaids are a few hundred miles away, they’ll probably fly, which would add probably at least $200. So that’s at least $500 just for the weekend, not including all the other bridesmaid costs — dress, shoes, etc. plus travel and lodging for the wedding. Depending on how close I was to the bride I might suck it up, but I probably wouldn’t be terribly happy about it at first. But that’s me. Maybe talk to the other bridesmaids and give them an idea of your plans and see if they’d be comfortable spending that much. They might be happy to! If not, maybe you could brainstorm with them (or just 1 or 2 of them) to see how to still have a great weekend and cut down on costs. Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
1473 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

$300 for all that isn’t TOO bad, but that is still a lot of money and it doesn’t even include transportation to Atlanta. How old are her other BM’s? Do they have full time jobs or are they in college? What is your sister having them pay for the wedding stud such as dresses and/or hair already? Take these things into consideration before you set concrete plans!

Post # 5
Member
9612 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

That seems a lot, especially since a lot of them may need to fly there, plus the costs for the wedding on top of that. So it depends on the budget of the other bridesmaids, did you ask them what their budgets were for the weekend? It’s great you’re planning all this stuff for your sister 🙂

Post # 6
Member
4036 posts
Honey bee

@LALaw:  my sister has expresses concerns that the cost of participating in the wedding might be a strain on multiple bridesmaids…given your comment, it seems like a lot given it does not include travel or wedding expenses.

 

Post # 7
Member
2287 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: Central Park

That’s still a lot of money. I would have a hard time affording anything over $100, and even that’s going to hurt. Do you need a stripper? Going to a male stripper show would be cheaper than hiring a private one. Plus, the private ones get a little too handsy from what I’ve heard. Can you do more boozing at home and less at expensive clubs? I think a DIY cocktail party in pajamas would be fun. You could also host a passion party, at least that way if they’re shelling out $50 they’ll get a cool new toy or some fun sexy time things.

Post # 8
Member
9398 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

That sounds like a lot to me for people would are alread financially strained.  Add in airfare and that is already 600-700 per person. If they can drive to Atlanta, it is much more reasonable.

Can you talk to the other bridesmaids and see if they have any other ideas?  Or ask your sister?  She might have some good ideas since she might know the other girls better.

You could always cut the stripper, cut the mani/pedis, or cut the bottle service.  Then just get a hotel room for that second night and go out clubbing.  A stripper is not a necessity unless your sister is dying to have one.  Depending on how many people you have…I would say bottle service is not a necessity.  You can still have a great time without it, at least.  Bachelorette parties always get free drinks.

Where are all the other girls at?  Is there a fun place within a driveable distance for most of them?  If I didn’t have the money, I wouldn’t mind driving 3-4 hours for a weekend (beats airfare).

Post # 9
Member
9057 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

That would be steep for me, even without a plane ticket.  I’d nix the stripper unless the bride’s REALLY into it.  And really, just because the guests have to come to town for the weekend, especially those that are coming to “hometown” might like to still have it only be one evening so they can visit with family or whatever?  I’d do a toned down optional sleepover the first night, optional mani/pedis in the day, and keep the second night as is.

 

Post # 10
Member
7794 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think two nights is impractical. If I lived 350 miles away a single night would be more realistic, i.e. travel on Saturday, go out Saturday night, return Sunday. That also gives them the option of driving (to Atlanta Saturday, from Atlanta Sunday). If it’s two nights I assume that means you’re expecting them to leave work early, and fly to Atlanta, on Friday.

+1 with everyone else to nixing the stripper unless the bride really wants it and the girls are willing to go along with it.

Anyway, the best way to gauge it is talk to the other BMs first.

Post # 11
Member
1038 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

 I’d say that is a lot. Especially since they are gonna have to fork out money for airfare, hotel, dress, shoes, makeup, etc  for the actual wedding.  I’d just not participate in the bachelorette and say “see ya at the wedding” if I was expected to shell out $300 ON TOP of everything else I’m already spending. 

Post # 12
Member
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I think it’s a great plan but would be too costly for me and I think your sister would be worried about how much it is.  I agree with the other ladies to nix a few things like the stripper, bottle service and hotel suite.  You could go to a show instead,stay at her home the 2nd night and have just as good of a time out even without table service.  I think you need to find out from your sister what would be really important for her that weekend.

Post # 13
Member
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It sounds like a lot to me… but I’m not into traditional bachelorette parties. My bridal party and I went out to dinner in NYC then attended a fashion show (fashion week) and had bottle service at a lounge/club (not very “clubby” though).

 

How old are the bridesmaids? Do they have full time jobs?

 

Does your sister like strippers/clubs/spending two nights with everyone? I for one find it overwhelming to see many people very often (as in more days than one in a row). Since the cost of the flight will likely be costly I would do this:

Day one: Mani/Pedis… optional (doing it first allows others the option to not participate without saying “hey I can’t afford it” they can just meet up afterwards instead)

Night one: I would skip the stripper unless your sister definitely wants one. Do the bridesmaids feel comfortable with a stripper?

Day two: You could do something low-key and cost effective such as going out to lunch or going to the movies or something of that nature. Maybe there is something nearby that your sister is into?

Night two: Keep as is… if you want to cut costs can you stay somewhere instead of a hotel? As in your sister’s house or possibly rent something out for the weekend (not sure if there are houses to rent as you would for a beach weekend).

 

Just some ideas!

Night Two:

Post # 14
Member
8697 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I dont think that is a lot. However, this question is better to ask each one of the BMs individually. If your sister said that even participating in the wedding will be a strain then I think any bachelorette could/will be a strain on them since they do not live close. Maybe I am wrong?

I would ask each one individually and then make the plans. For the last wedding I was in ALL the BMs did not come to the bachelorette and the bride was fine with it. For my wedding I think we are doing 2 different things. One expensive and one inexpensive so that everyone can join in. The major one that me and my BMs wanted to do 2 girls are unable (trip to Jamaica).

Post # 15
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

What lounge/club were you thinking about in Atlanta? I know cosmolava has a bachelorette special going on

Post # 16
Member
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’d rather spend $800 to go to Vegas than $500 to go to someone’s house…just sayin 🙂

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