is my boyfriend being an asshole?

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
6881 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Sadly, men do not do subtle. in trying not to guilt him, you tried to guilt him by not being direct about what you wanted. 

you need to tell him exactly what you want in the future. Yes, it does suck that he took off when you don’t feel good, but you’re not super sick, and what fun would it be for him to sit there all night? hopefully he shows you that he cares about you and would stay if you asked him to. If he never stays when you ask him directly, then you might have a problem. 

I hope you feel better soon. 

Post # 4
Member
1473 posts
Bumble bee

The way you described it it sounded to me like he wanted to stay.

You: you’re going to leave soon right?

Him: yes (sad voice)

You: I want you to stay

Him: really?

You: well go if you want. And you start crying…

Anyway, I think you should get some rest and forget about everything. Feel better soon!

 

Post # 6
Member
906 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

You are hugely overreacting and feeling wayyyy overemotional, probably because you’re sick. *hugs* Feel better. 

Post # 8
Member
3304 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

He has nothing to apologise for. If you had wanted him to stay so bad, you could have said so plainly. Instead you indicated he should go if he wanted to.

 

Post # 9
Member
2257 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I think you were super out of line, using crying as a manipulation tactic, and being unfair to your boyfriend in general. You’re definitely overreacting and owe him an apology. 

Post # 11
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2006

imnotgettinmarried:  I’ve definitely had this happen before.. I think that I used to think I was more important then everyone all the time.. And im not. There were things my DH wanted to do and I couldnt stop him

Post # 13
Member
5149 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

Men are not complicated, for the most part.  One thing with most is that they don’t read between the lines and don’t understand why we don’t say what we want, yet get pissed if we don’t get it.   I think you are way overreacting and if you know you’re uber sensitive because you’re sick, why would you choose to start a fight?  Next time, say what you want exactly, and if you say you don’t want to guilt him into doing something, mean it.

Post # 14
Member
931 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

imnotgettinmarried:  No, your boyfriend was not being an asshole. Yes, you are overreacting. Overreacting is an understatement. He has nothing to apologise for, you wanting him to apologise makes you sound like a psycho chick. Hopefully you’re not actually psycho, just sick-addled and not thinking clearly. But, if being sick for 3 days turns you into this needy monster you might want to consider seeking professional help. Maybe you’re depressed? It’s not normal to freak out on your boyfriend and start crying because he’s going to a birthday party when you’ve been home with a cold for just 3 days — that’s really manipulative of you. In fact if anyone needs to apologise it sounds like it is you. Unless he is generally uncaring and unresponsive to you? Has he been looking after you (making you tea, etc.,) when he is home? I hope you treat your bf kindly, and vice versa, and feel better soon. 

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