Post # 1
When my FI proposed a year ago, I picked out the setting, he picked out the stone, and we put them together. The setting is 1.25 ct and the stone is 1.0 ct. We bought the setting from a magazine, and I’m starting to think that my stone is a little overwhelmed now. I don’t want to change my setting at all. It seems like the high of wearing my ring has worn off and the reality that my center diamond isn’t showcased very well is sitting in. My wedding bands are 1.4 ct, so, needles to say, it’s getting up there in size. I’m just shy of six feet tall; it doesn’t overwhelm my finger (size 6.5) or my frame.
I’m thinking about dropping a hint to my FI by asking him if he thinks my center stone looks overwhelmed in "sometimes I wonder"….I’m scared he’ll be hurt and upset that I was happy at first and am now second guessing my original decision. But on the other hand, he may very well say, "well if you still don’t like it in a few years we’ll fix it. i want you to be happy". I’m NOT talking about changing it out now, but maybe 5 years down the road or for my 30th birthday (7 years), something like that. Or even adding a pave setting around my cushion. Is that super pricey to do? Or about the same as bumping up in size? If that’s the case, I’d still want a cushion diamond, and I’d have to look around to see what proportions look best. Maybe a more rectangular one versus a square one. I attached some pics. Any advice? I feel really stupid and embarassed for bringing this up, like it makes me SUPER ungrateful, although I know lots of women have had issues with their rings. Ugh, ugh ugh. Sorry
Anybody else take notice of the ring high wearing off???
[attachment=170300,11375] [attachment=170300,11376] [attachment=170300,11377]
Post # 3
If you know you wouldn’t be changing it for another five years, I wouldn’t bring it up at the moment. I guess it just seems to me like there’s no point until you’re getting close to your b day or the 5 year mark or whatever. You know your FI better than we all do, but if it was mine, he’d be a little hurt. I think it’s a beautiful ring btw!
Post # 4
I just don’t want to ask him to spend more money on it now, when we’re paying for the wedding ourselves. So we’re already spending a chunk right now. I know diamonds are pricey and the cost might sting less in 5 years after we both move up a few levels and make more money…
Post # 5
I think that your stone might be overwhelmed a little, not by the other diamonds but by the width of the band. If you don’t want to offend your FI and you don’t want to change it right away, I would just sit tight and wait a little. In a few months, or a year, you might have a totally different opinion. Plus, once you start wearing your engagement ring and wedding band together, it will have a totally different look. You might love the look of all of the diamonds together once you are wearing both all of the time.
Also, unless you have that *ONE RING* that you have fallen in love with, I think it is normal to have a wandering eye when it comes to rings! 🙂 I have a super classic round cut setting, and every once in a while I’ll see an asher cut diamond, or a square cut with pave diamonds around it that I think are gorgeous!
Post # 6
The views from the top down do make it look overwhelmed- as in, the stone doesn’t stand out because the rest of the setting is just as wide. However, from the side view you showed, the center stone is obviously set higher than the rest. So I’m not sure if I can say yes or no based on those few images.
That said- I think it’s pretty clear you are unhappy with it. I personallly spent a lot of time researching before choosing what I wanted because it was really important to me that I would wear that EXACT ring for the rest of my life. I’m too sentimental for the upgrade!
Have you considered just upgrading the center stone? When you have the money, can you exchange the stone for a larger one that wouldn’t be overwhelmed?
Sorry I didn’t really give a straight answer. It’s a really tough situation.
Post # 7
Well, it stands out from sideways, but when you look at it from the top, it definitely is not as wide as the band. It’s a cathedral setting. My fiance was deployed, so it was a difficult decision for us to get the ring and I didn’t live in a place where I could try it on. It didn’t bother me at first, you know? I think BeachBrideT has a point…you probably find yourself wandering or wanting to tweak as time goes on, your taste changes, etc.
I ended up giving my FI a theoretical situation (as in, Oh i talked to a friend who was talking to me about this, how do YOU feel about it? blah blah blah, putting out feelers) and he’s very much "oh I’d have issues. You made a big fat deal about it being perfect so you could wear it forever, it’s not like I bought you a cheap ring because I was poor"…I guess I have his answer . We’ll see what a major anniversary brings perhaps!
Post # 8
I agree with the width factor. But it’s a lovely ring. Again, not something that needs to immediately change. The width being the same as the solitaires’s width is what does make that appear to be so.
Rosy’s got a good point..how about for an anniversary the stone upgrade to something either a different style or longer/width different?
Post # 9
I think so! My FI mentioned it is "tacky" for the woman to ask for an upgrade (he specifically mentioned this in regards to our particular situation), but that he isn’t necessarily opposed to offering me a larger stone as a present down the road.
I will wait and see . But i’m glad i’m not the only one who notices the width issue…it is a wide ring. Probably meant for a big, fattier diamond or a long rectangular emerald or radiant.
Post # 10
I also think the width factor is a problem, but from those photos it’s a bit hard to tell. I’m so sorry this is happening to you because the same thing with the ring high wore off and my hubby said he would ABSOLUTELY NOT let me change a thing, so I’m hoping you’ll have better luck!
Post # 11
I don’t think your center stone is overwhelmed, but it does have company. 🙂 If that makes sense. From the third picture though it definitely looks like the center stone stands out because it is set higher. I am guessing that shows up better in three-dimensional real life than in pictures. It is probably not as "flat" as you imagine.
My ring "high" also has worn off and now I can think of several other styles that I would love. But it’s too late now, as it’s the ring I’ve got and my husband would be really, really upset if I wanted to change it (as I discovered when I also put out "feelers" once).
But really, you gotta admit, if our big problem is that our diamond engagement rings aren’t exactly the style we wanted in the end, really, this is a good problem to have, right? 😀 Plus, you will have the ring for a long time. You taste may change over time, in any direction. Even if you got a different style now, in a few years you may decide that what you have now is really what you want! Your ring is a different style from the quintessential solitaire on a plain band, but just because that’s what’s in style now doesn’t mean that’s what will be in forever or what we will all like forever.
If diamonds are a girl’s best friend, then your center stone has lots of good friends but ultimately I don’t think they overshadow too much. Your ring is beautiful!
Post # 12
You have a very good point! My ring has lots of friends, I like that! That’s adorable. I actually mentioned to my FI (casually of course) and he said he hopes that for a big anniversary he can buy me a big whopper of a diamond, LoL. I told him I’d never say no! He’s an engineer too (eventually) so I’d like to think that we will be able to afford that years down the road. I think it’s just one of those girl things–our minds wander and sometimes I wish I’d told him i wanted the 1.5 instead of the 1, but no biggee. He can buy stones from a jeweler friend, so he got a stankin’ good deal on it. Had I known how GOOD of a deal he could get, I would have nudged him towards the *investment* of a larger stone. But whatever. Honestly, I love love love my setting. i can’t imagine changing it out, but I’m totally ok with putting my time in if he wants to upgrade my stone later! I can *earn* it, haha. I see that it’s not so terribly uncommon and lots of women upgrade to something larger and/or flashier at their 10 or 15 year anniversary. I told my Fi that that’s what big anniversaries are for. Dad got mom a new mercedes for her 25th…I’d probably want to keep my Toyota but get a bigger stone. And you’re right, maybe my style will become more vintage or classic, but right now it’s more modern with straight lines and is perpendicularly set, etc (ahhh i’m such a loser engineer), and I do LOVE having a very unique ring setting. I haven’t seen anything like this on anybody, and I just remind myself I’m lucky to have someone who gave it to me! I think sometimes it’s too easy to focus on "the ring" than other, more important things ultimately. But only because it’s right THERE in our faces! ha.