Post # 1
So this is by far the most awkward wedding bee post and I cant tell you why….I just feel that way.
Recently my Husband and I began hanging out with another couple. Lets say their names are Anna and Jeff. Anna is a newly (good?) friend of mine that I had met through cosmetology school. From the beginning she seemed a little clingy. I really started to notice it when she would write me on facebook and if I didnt respond she would send me another message asking me if I really dont like her and if shes just annoying, and if so, then I just need to tell her……and on and on. Well this kind of pushed me away from her for awhile but I just recently gave her another shot.
Her and her boyfriend Jeff, have been hanging out at mine and my husbands apartment the past few weekends. My husband and I have a 2 year old son who just got his big boy bed and is having a tough time transistioning. So needless to say we get hardly any sleep. The other night Anna and Jeff fell asleep on our couch after watching a movie at about 2 am (which we didnt them there that late but they just didnt leave). This left my husband and I in a very awkward posistion of pretty much telling them they cant stay the night and to go home. (Note: we only have a two bedroom apartment.) I think this kinda made Jeff mad but they need to realize we are grown adults with a child. Friends just dont “crash” at our place anymore.
Now Anna is always commenting my husbands status updates on facebook. My mother even noticed it and took the time to call me and ask about it. Anna writes to him as if they are having a one on one convo. Nothing is inappropriate but enough to make my husband look bad. For instance. The other night my husband AND I painted an accent wall in our living room. My husband wrote on his facebook that the wall is painted and Anna comments saying “You did a really good job on the wall. I hope to see you again soon. Your fun to hang out with” This was just one of MANY comments going halfway down his page all from her.
My husband is very weirded out and hates that shes making him look bad. Shes one of those girls that WILL notice if you delete her as a friend or delete her comment and get very upset about it. I’m not sure what to do.
I know this is a very ‘high school’ post. But I’m just not sure what to do about this girl. And I’m not sure what her intentions are.
I’ve realized finding my soulmate was easy; Its the finding others couple to hang out with thats hard! LOL!
Post # 3
I think she is very needy and probably doesn’t have very many friends, if any. I suggest that your husband defriend her from his facebook account. If she wants to make comments, she can make them on your account.
Post # 4
That’s really weird! If you’re not that close anyway, I think it might be worth considering terminating the friendship. She’ll probably give you a hard time about it for a while but if you ignore her, she won’t have anyone to feed her neediness. If you really want to be friends still, maybe you can try having a serious conversation with her, laying out your concerns, and see what she says. Good luck!
Post # 5
I am in a similar situation (although maybe not as bad). I have a close friend (she’s actually going to be a bridesmaid for me), and she constantly gchats with my FH. In fact, a few weeks ago we got in a slight tiff…and she complained to him about it! He always tells me what she says, but I think it is really inappropriate. Luckily she just started dating someone new, so I think she might lay off him for awhile. But if not, I might have to say something!
Anyways, in your situation, I wonder if you could just jokingly say something to her like “Wow, soandso asked me WTH was going on since some other woman was all over DH’s FB page?” Do you think she would get that it was inappropriate then?
Post # 6
i know i watch too many lifetime movies but ive seen one too many that started out that way…i think you should stay away.. 🙂
Post # 7
ditto what noritake22 advised.
I know she’s going to be sensitive about it – but you need to just address it head on.
Post # 8
I’ve found that ignoring people like that or saying something like, “Oh, did you send me a facebook message? I kind of grew out of my facebook phase after college” can (passive aggressively – I admit it) get them to stop.
Post # 9
i had a friend like that in the end i had to just cut her off. she would have her bf call me and yell at me if i didnt reply her msg within like a day or two.. thats just too clingy for me. i dont think ur hubby should delete her cos that will lead to more drama, he should just ignore any comments she puts on his page n u guys shouldnt invite them round as often, if at all.
Post # 10
@Danaadell: LOL! I’m sure your probably right but that post made me laugh because my hubby makes fun of me for watching lifetime movies and says “if someone is having an affair, someones murdered and it still has a happy ending, you can bet its a lifetime movie and Kare is watching it!” haha
Post # 11
I agree with trying to cut ties as fast and clean as you can. I don’t think the post is “high school” but they seem very “high school” and you should consider finding more grown up companions as friends.
Post # 12
I’m with the PP- it seems like it’s time to cut ties. Her and her boyfriend’s behavior seems to be a little on the immature side, and obviously you and your husband are over that sort of stuff. Good luck!
Post # 13
I totally had a friend like this. She was super clingy, to the point that most of our mutual friends had blocked her number, and I was the only one left still being nice to her. Eventually I just couldn’t take it anymore and had to cut off all contact with her. It got pretty creepy for a while, as though I had gone through a break-up with her. She then backed off for a while, but after a few months started emailing my boyfriend at the time asking why I didn’t talk to her anymore, etc.
People like this are never fun to have in your life, so my suggestion is to just end contact with her (don’t be wishy-washy about it) and make sure your husband does, too.
Post # 14
I agree with picturemeurs, you feel like the post is highschool-esque because your friend is acting highschool-esque. I agree with everyone that you need to cut her off. She doesn’t seem like she is in the same place as you maturity wise, and if it is making BOTH you and your husband uncomfortable, it needs to end.
Post # 15
I would tell your husband to restrict her access to his profile without deleting it. He can put her on a list and makke his wall invisible etc. But I also think thats just the first step. you will eventually have to back off. I mean all that whining and complaioning its really just too much. ANd it is totally inapprpriate to expect to “crash” with someone who has a child so way to go for you
ai hope this works out well for you and not all super creepy like a lifetime movie :-/
Post # 16
I agree with the PP about having your husband make his wall private to her. This will not allow her to post on his wall. As you said, she will probably send him a message or ask why she can no longer see/post on his wall. Just say something like he had to clean it up for work, or for privacy or something like that.
If there is anyone else that she knows that is friends with her as well, I would also recommend limiting their access to his page as well.