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Heyy, So my FH and I just got engaged last month, me being 19 and him being 27. And I was so ecstatic, but when I went to show it off to a friend of my mom's, all she could say was 'For your anniversary, ask for a bigger diamond.'. My engagement ring is a .91 ct princess cut solitaire, and so once she said that.. I started trolling wedding sites and found SO many women with like.. over 1 ct engagement rings, the average I found was like 1.5-5 cts and I started feeling kind of bad about mine. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love it and I love my fiance more than anything.. But I just want to be proud of it and have people think it's really nice, you know? I think that a lot of the ct weight is actually underneath the ring.. So on top it looks quite a bit smaller. But what do all of you think? Opinions please!
Also would love to hear from other women with small-ish engagement rings, pictures would be appreciated. Thanks!
If you love it, that is all that matters. I would try not to worry about. What other people think shouldn't matter.
What the HELL is wrong with that woman, WHO would say that?? Honestly, she's just stupid. There's nothing wrong with a .91 carat diamond, I think most people are lucky to get a carat, and it's quite normal to get below that. It all depends on the quality of the diamond too, not just the size... wow I would have loved to come up with a smartass remark after a comment like that, I wish I could think fast, that was just rude. Don't feel down on your ring, everyone has different tastes and opinions, can't please everyone. Besides, personally, I would feel uncomfortable wearing something SO expensive on my finger!!
If you really love something, wouldn't you be proud of it? To say otherwise is kind of a paradox.
It makes me so sad to see so many brides come on WB asking if their ring is "good enough". Do not ever let someone else make you inferior. It sounds like you loved your ring before your friend's (rude) mom made a comment she had no place to make. Don't try to convince yourself that you don't like your ring just because someone else acted high and mighty about its size. It isn't about her preferences, it is about yours.
My center stone is approx 1 carat (little less), and I know there are lots of people with bigger ones, but my FH designed it FOR me, which makes it special. We are young adults so it fit into our budget, and the ring itself suits me.
In wedding planning, you will find that there is **ALWAYS** someone who can afford more than you and have more lavish things than you. Do not be consumed by material wants or you will never be happy, because somebody else will ALWAYS be able to outdo you. Be thankful for what you have and be true to what makes YOU happy.
First of all, anyone who says that to you is rude, has no manners, and most likely enjoys putting people down.
Second, your ring sounds beautiful! .91 is a substantial size. There are many girls out there who are thrilled with a .5 ct.
Third, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT ANYONE THINKS EXCEPT YOURSELF AND YOUR FI. Don't compare your ring to others.
Congratulations on the engagement!
Congrats on getting engaged. That woman is incredibly rude. I think that you and your FI should make a decision what you can afford (whether it is .5 or 20 carats) and make sure that you can really afford it. Getting an engagement ring is about the feelings and the meaning of the ring itself, not how big it is.
No, your ring is not too small. That is really rude of that lady to say something like that. Congrats on your engagement and Welcome to weddingbee!
That is horribly rude of that woman to say anything.
As many others have posted, .91 is actually not that small. My diamond is not much larger than yours and I love it because it was DH's mother's first ring. His parents are still happily married and I appreciate the sentiment of the ring. The size, cut, etc. don't matter as much as that it came from a happy home.
The ring should be whatever you and your fiance like and can afford.
Okay...the average is NOWHERE near 5 carats, not even in a place where large stone are popular, like LA or NYC. 5 carats is a monster of a stone! Your ring is almost 1 carat and that is more than a lot of women, but really, who cares?! Did you love it before your friend's mom's incredibly rude comment? Do you adore the love and commitment it symbolizes? Then that's what matters. Rejoice, because I'm sure your ring is gorgeous and perfect for you two as a couple, and .91 carats is NOT at all small.
I asked my DH if he was ever planning on "upgrading" his band or if he was planning on "upgrading" my wedding set. He said HELL NO because the rings we have are special! They've been through "Popping the question" and our engagement shoot, our wedding ceremony and a special blessing! The rings we have are special to US and it doesn't matter if anyone else thinks that they "should" be something else. It's not up to them to decide anyway! It's not about the size, it's about the thought behind the ring and if it is special to you.
Also, what kind of cut stone do you have? You mentioned that a lot of the carat weight is under the face of the stone, which is true for some cuts and can make them look smaller. (Still doesn't mean that old bat should have said ANYTHING besides "What a gorgeous ring!")
Thank you all for your comments. And yes, I do love the ring he got me and would have been perfectly happy with something that had no diamond at all quite honestly.. We have been dating for 2 1/2 years and had been talking about getting engaged about 6 months before we actually did... In that time, I actually wore a tied string around the ring finger of my left hand as symbolism... I called it my 'engagement string' so I am not materialistic at all, that woman's comment just really put me off and I talked to my FH about it because we talk about everything.. We came to the conclusion that maybe I can get the diamond put into a setting with more bling and have the plain setting of my solitaire made into my wedding band if I wanted. What do you think?
Ps. I know the average isn't 5 cts, I totally messed up on that, I meant 2 cts, sorry!
Congratulations on your engagment.
That is incredibly rude. My centre stone clocks in at .75 carats, and as two working professionals came in at 1/3 of the budget we had established before we went shopping. It turned out I preferred a more intricate setting compared to a larger solitaire, and for me, an intricate setting AND a large stone was a lot going on for one small hand.
It's completely a matter of taste, and it's nobody else's place to talk about whether your ring is "good enough".
My ring is 0.6 carat and just the right size for my hand. Both of our mother's have a third of a carat, so mine is a big step up.
Plus, size isn't the only aspect of a good diamond. Remember the 4 C's play just as big a part if not more.
first, CONGRATS :)
second, that woman is a horrid person to say something like that to you - did SHE buy it? is he ask HER to marry your FH? no! so what business is it of hers!?
personally i would have told that heifer to stuff it.
no one should EVER make you feel bad about your ring. it does NOT matter what size it is. what matters is the man that you love wants to spend the rest of his life with you - and it shouldnt matter if he gave you a piece of string or a 10 carat canary diamond.
he gave it to you as a promise of a future life, and dont ever feel you have to apologize or upgrade that moment.
cherish your ring. i know many a women who have much smaller rings than yours, and they could care less. why? because its not about the rock on your finger but about your marriage.
seriously tell that old heifer to stuff it.
*stepping off soapbox* that makes me so angry that she did that. people can be so rude and just ... UGH.
Ahhhh.. My comment back double posted. Does anyone know how to edit/delete a post? Some help would be appreciated as I am very new to this site.
@RomanticAntics - Someone flagged your comment, so we just deleted it for you. :-)
Special thanks to the Hostess who flagged it! ;-)
.91 is not a small stone at all!!! I bet your ring is gorgeous. What really and truely matters is the love that you and your FI share and the commitment that your rings represent. Without a true bond you might as well have no diamond at all. Besides, I am sure your FI probably put a lot of thought and time into the choosing of ring. Why would you want to change it. It represent soo much for the two of you, don't let anyone take that from you!!! My grandparent just celebrated their 64th anniversary and TRUST ME no one was asking her the size of her ring, everyone was more inspired by thier devotion to one another.
The national average for the size of a diamond is .83 carats - I wouldn't worry about this one lady's comment. She obviously is very rude and likes to make other people insecure. Don't let her, or she has succeed.
Lol, well, my FH actually got my ring off of ebay. =P It's D in color and I think it's VSI, I love it very much and don't really believe in upgrading in the sense that you would 'trade in' your current engagement ring for a bigger one.. Absolutely not! I love it and it means so much to me, like I said before.. The only thing I've really considered is to have the setting made into my wedding band and have the diamond put into a fancier setting... I don't think that's really materialistic of me and my fiance and I have scoured a lot of different settings and decided on one we both really like. Wouldn't have it 'upgraded' right away or anything, because there are much more important things we need to focus on right now {We have a one year old daughter} but I am really excited on making it perfect and something I am really going to be proud of.. Without sacrificing any of the ring! =]
Pee Ess.
I'm going to TRY {If it will let me} to post a picture of my current ring, as well as the setting I am thinking of tranferring it into. Please be open an tell me what you all think. Once again though, thank you to all the people who commented, as well as, thank you Hostess for helping me with my double-post! =]
Hmmm. Didn't let me, that sucks! I keep putting my files into the little 'upload files from your computer' boxes and clicking upload, but for some reason it won't do it?
.91 is plenty for a 19 year old girl! Do not let your mean friend make you feel bad, and the avg size is DEFINITELY not 5 cts!!!! LOL
Plan your wedding and be glad you have found love and someone that knew better than taking out a loan for a ring. Enjoy!
RomanticAntics-
Hit the blue green polaroid button at the top of the comment box. It is right next to the "html" box.
Then, navigate to your picture. It should post it into the window then.
Ehhh this might be something small but I strongly dislikes hearing the word "girl" used to describe a 19-year-old mother and soon-to-be wife! And I don't think a person 'deserves' a larger or smaller ring based on their age. When choosing a ring, all that should matter is what the woman is comfortable with and how much the couple can afford.
OP: If your pic loads into the text box but doesn't show up when you post it, it might be too big. Try resizing. Or alternatively, add it to facebook and then copy the url for uploading it--fb's pics are always small enough to work here.
I just want to say, thank you to everyone for all your comments and kind words. I really really appreciate it and it and you've all made me feel a lot better! =]
Your ring, in my opinion, is beautiful just the way it is!!!
The new setting that you picked out is also beautiful:-)
Your ring is really beautiful! I wouldn't change it. Not small at all!! :) You could always have lots of small diamonds on the wedding band!
Who cares what the national average is?
Your ring is yours - and it's yours because your FI loves you enough to save up for it, pick it out, and give it to you while asking you to be his wife.
We never compare how in love couples are; why are we so insistent to compare ring sizes? The two do not equate!
I would not worry too much about the ring. What matters is that you and your FI love each other. The ring is simply a symbol of HIS love for you. There will always be a brigger ring out there, even if you got the 5 CT one. Just ignore what your mom's firend says, as the ring should not matter. It was what your FI could afford to get you, and for all anyone knows, he could have poured his sweat and tears into it.
On the other hand, I'm sure if you postponed the wedding, for another year or two, he could have saved up more $$$. But is that something that you would want? Again, all that matters is whether or not you like it... ignore all else. If you liked it before she said anything to you... then you should still like it, even after...
That is a super-rude comment of that woman, your ring is gorgeous!!! I think anything hovering around the 1 carat mark is pretty good-sized, so I don't know what that woman was talking about and I think you should just enjoy your beautiful sparkly ring as much as you can!
I think your ring is very pretty and I told FH that I want a ring that's 0.80-0.90 cts. I just don't see the point in spending over a thousand dollars just to go up a .20 or .10 in ct. I prefer small rings I think their delicate and unique. As long as you love your ring it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. The ring is a symbol of a life long committment carat size shouldn't matter. Hell I'd be happy with ring from a bubble gum machine if that meant getting engaged.
Huh?
I have pretty strong thoughts on this. First off, what an ignorant thing to say to someone! I jus can't believe the gall.
Second, do YOU love the ring? Don't let anyone else sideswipe your happiness. What YOU think is most important..not to mention the person who just paid thousands for it!
Third, it is "just" a ring. Yes, I know first hand how important a ring is (waiting for mine- prob. over the next couple of weeks- will be .8 center and some bling around the sides), but how is your relationship? THAT is what is most important! I'm sure plenty of big ring brides end up trading/hawking later in life because the ring no longer has meaning.
Fourth- what other people have should be completely irelevant to you and your relationship. Who cares what others have? It should not be important to you. This is exactly why we have the housing crisis and poor economy that we have. Everyone wants bigger and better than everyone else.
I CAN'T believe she had the audacity to say that to you! IMPO that was possibly the rudest thing anyone could every tell you. To be perfectly honest size doesn't matter. I don't have a ring and I am engaged. A engagement ring is like a marriage certificated: you got one, but it really doesn't matter; all that matters is you love your FH and he loves you!
Looking at your picture, my ring is almost identical, just with a gold band. I don't know how many carats it is - my fiance told me when we first got engaged, but I've completely forgotten because I just don't care.
When people look at the ring they're usually comment that it's "cute" which I guess could be offputting, but it suits my style. My fiance picked it out with my best friend and they both know I'm not into big, flashy stuff, so picking a simple ring was absolutely appropriate.
Seriously, your fiance would've put a lot of time and thought searching for the right ring for you and to be complaining about it really crosses the line
I'm NOT a big jewlery person so my FI made me go out and pick out my own engagement ring. What I specifically wanted was a band with a small diamond set into it. The solitare style engagement/wedding ring just doesn't speak to me and I wanted a ring that I don't have to take off all the time due to the solitare setting getting in the way.
Thankfully in the Netherlands solitare styles, while they are sold, aren't common in the shops so soon I fell in love with a really inexpensive ring that only had a .14 diamond in it.
It's really not the size of the stone that made me fall in love with it, though it's on the bigger end of what I wanted. What really made me fall for it was the shape of the band.
Oh, and when I showed my ring to my fiance's sister she said that she'd really wanted a princess cut, but simply couldn't afford it when they got engaged. And I have to agree, I think the cut really sets off the diamond
Um, less than 10% of women have a ring larger than 1 carat....so I have NO idea where you got your numbers from, but rest assured you're not in some minority with a 0.91 carat ring!
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