- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
Sorry this is a bit of a rant. I wanted to get this out on here before talking to my Fiance about this. Since I have known my Fi he has always been generous in paying for other friends dinner, drinks, etc without them hardly ever buying him anything in return. He has a kind heart and I know he likes to help people out especially when he knows they dont have a lot of money.
So I hope I am not coming off as a brat here, but now that we are engaged, well even before that since we have been living together for over a year it sometimes upsets me. For instance, it is kinda like spending “our” money. Let me further explain.
Sometimes, he spends $100 on these people a night and they hardly ever offer to buy him dinner or a even a round of drinks. Sometimes I think my friends and his own are taking advantage of him bc they know he will pay the tab and they dont have to pay him back.
Then last month my fear was confirmed. One of my friends who rarely drinks, had a little too much and she said that another one of my friends mentioned to her that she loves hanging out with me and my Fiance bc he always pays for her and her Fiance so they always have a cheap night. I am not happy with this friend but I dont know how to confront her bc I dont want to get my first friend in trouble. So I told my Fiance what she said. He seemed irratated at first, but then last weekend he was buying rounds for everyone at the bar again including her.
Then last night one of my friends from out of town wanted to come visit us. She lives 5 hrs away. She was on speaker and mentioned that her and her husband would like to come up and visit but were low on money. My Fiance heard and said dont worry we will cook and pay for them when they come up. WHAT? He didnt even ask my opinion and I feel like we are partners and should handle this together.
I think he is trying to be nice and I dont mind helping ppl out, but enough is enough. We are not responsable for paying for everyone. Am I being harsh??!!
I have talked to my Fiance about this a few times calmly and he seems like he gets my point then just goes back to the same old behavior.
Also, sometimes we all go to tailgates and me and my Fi end up buying all the food. When we have a party at our place I am fine with providing the food since its our party. But when it is a group tailgate I dont see why we cant ask everyone to bring something. My Fiance said it is bc other ppl wouldnt bring anything if we asked them too. I said well we dont know that since we never ask.
I dont know Bees. Am I being just irrational about this?
If not do you guys think I need to have a heart to heart with my Fi about this? I mean I am afraid it will only get worse. For instance, we are planning on buying a house next yr, paying for a wedidng and we want kids in a few yrs and I think we should save for those things. We both have good jobs right now and I think he feels we have the extra income, but in a few yrs it will get tighter. I wish I could make him realize this.
So sorry for the long rant. Just needed to get it off my chest. Thanks for reading.