Is my guy a compulsive liar/womanizer (long)?

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Member
3958 posts
Honey bee

Red flags all over the place. You should listen to your gut.

Member
340 posts
Helper bee

It sounds like your instincts are telling you that he is not trustworthy and his actions support that theory. I wouldn’t call him a compulsive liar, but he doesn’t seem to respect you or your boundaries. I take it you are young and this might be your “first love” – but, girl, you can do better.

Member
6033 posts
Bee Keeper

He’s afraid to be honest with you about girls he’s talk to b/c you’ve overreacted? I’m sorry, but especially b/c of the very first incident, you did NOT overreact. How would he like it if you told him that you met a guy on vacation, almost kissed him and if he lived closer, you weren’t sure who you would be with? My guess is that he wouldn’t be too happy.

I would’ve ditched this guy a long time ago. He’s done more shady behavior than not. It’s one thing if one of these incidents happened, but all of them together over the course of your relationship and the lying? No thanks. Have a nice life buddy!

Member
2604 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t think you’re being “That Girl”, I think you’re listening to all of your instincts that tell you this is not right. It does not sound like he has done anything to deserve your trust. It can be hard to let go when there’s a history, but based on what you’ve posted, I think you would be glad you did.

Member
4487 posts
Honey bee

Dump him.  You can’t trust him for good reason. You’re young, enjoy college without the strain of worrying about him cheating on you.

Member
1917 posts
Buzzing bee

yeahhh dump him.

you’re in college. go enjoy yourself and stop worrying about this dbag

Member
1165 posts
Bumble bee

Please ‘be that girl’ and get rid of him. ‘Don’t be that girl’ is a scare tactic designed by the patriarchy so men can be disgusting human beings. 

 

Member
2851 posts
Sugar bee

Red flags indeed! You should not be worrying about any of this. I would cut him loose and find someone who treats you right. I’m sorry :( but that is just my opinion. Hope you are ok.

Member
1018 posts
Bumble bee

You’re being “that girl” for a good reason. Leaving him will be hard, but the fact that you attend a school out of state is not only awesome, but it will make it easier. I promise you that you will meet a guy, many guys, who will make you wonder what you ever saw in your current boyfriend. 

Member
134 posts
Blushing bee

he sounds Toxic – get out while you can. He is not worth the fight. One incident is ok, multiple incidents are nothing but red flags.

Member
2847 posts
Sugar bee

You are not “that girl.” You don’t trust him because he has given you a laundry list of reasons not to, not because you overreacted. He’s not honest, and his actions have spoken waaaaay louder than his words. These incidents demonstrate a clear pattern of behavior.

You say you wish he’d never shared this with you? If I were you, I’d be thanking my lucky stars that he did so that you can dodge this bullet before you end up marrying it. Get out and do it soon…you’re wasting your time with this guy.

I know you’re torn and hurting and my advice may seem harsh, but I really don’t think this is a good relationship. You deserve someone who you can trust and who values your relationship enough to be honest. This situation gives you neither of those things.

Member
136 posts
Blushing bee

@tngirl92:  All around, your post just sounds like a horrible situation. Imagine if your best girl friend were posting this or you were answering to someone else’s post on this type of situation? You would be getting the answers of all the above bee’s; dump this guy and move on. There are too many great men out there who don’t feel the need to delete messages to hide inappropriate contacts with females that aren’t you. Or sign up for dating sites when they’re supposed to be in a committed relationship. Or ask you to share himself and you sexually with a third person who could be your best girl friend. Ugh! Run girl! Run and find Mr. Better than this loser.

I’m sorry if I sound so harsh, but I wish someone had said the same to me once upon a time. I mean what I say with the best of intentions to a young woman who obviously deserves so much better, because there is better.

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