is my husband having a quarter-life crisis? (possible TMI)

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I don’t really have any advice.  I would be really creeped out if my husband was acting like that/saying those things to me.  Some of it (like calling to make the appointment) almost feels controlling.

Post # 5
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@swanks4tw:  I read somewhere online that one of the most common worries for men having sex with their pregnant partners is that the baby will feel them. Maybe that’s why?

Also, pregnancy can make your nether regions… different. Maybe that’s why he’s suddenly being weird about grooming?

I wouldn’t read too much into it. He’s dealing with a ton of changes, too. He might be worried this is his “last chance” to do some of these things.



Post # 6
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

It sounds like you kind of hit the nail on the head, that this is about him wanting to make sure he doesn’t lose his wife as a sexual being so he might be going kind of overboard.  I think especially with the piercing, it’s kind of like making sure that post-baby the sexual part of your relationship will still be there.  Or maybe he just has a pregnancy fetish, I don’t know!

I don’t think that there is anything wrong with asking him about where this is coming from if it is a change from your normal routine.  You don’t have to phrase it like it’s a bad thing or that you need to have a big serious talk, but I know that if my husband was suddenly acting very differently in the sex department, I wouldn’t really hesitate to ask where the change came from.

Post # 7
5773 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I think it’s pretty normal for anyone to go through some personality shifting as they’re facing a major life change. None of the stuff you wrote about sounds all that disturbing, so I don’t think he’s feeling doubts about being a father. He might just be trying to Have every last bit of passion before he knows your privacy and energy levels as a couple will change. Have you talked to him about it?

Post # 8
3635 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

He’s your husband, just ask him what’s going on.  “Hey babe, love all the extra sexing and attention, but what’s going on?  You’ve never been this interested in my junk before.”

Post # 9
6632 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

It could be for the lots of sex part that he finds you his pregnant wife extremely a huge turn on?  I do agree with the PP though sounds like he is worried about losing the sex life after the baby is born  also. 

Post # 10
236 posts
Helper bee

@swanks4tw:  My initial read on this is maybe he’s worried your sex life is going to suffer/ change for the worse after baby – and so he’s over compensating.

It sounds like you’re pretty comfortable/ open with your sexuality – could you just ask him why the sudden interest in the brazillian/ piercing ect? He may not have a solid answer or maybe he has some thought process that would enlighten you?

Post # 11
1515 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@swanks4tw:  Maybe he is just scared about how much life is going to change once the baby is here, possibly feeling like he will be old overnight? Or maybe somone told him that your sex life will end/ get boring post baby or a mountain of similar things and he’s puhing boundaries in an effort to stop what he thinks might happen…

Obviously, im not saying those things will happen but I could see a buddy of his or someone he knows saying something stupid and him panicing a bit.


Post # 12
5160 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@swanks4tw:  Hmm, strange.  Sounds like maybe he’s just started to realize something new that turns him on.

Have you talked to him about it, asked where this all is coming from and let him know your concerns? 

Post # 13
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

No ideas besides the idea of getting your nether regions pierced 2 months after baby is a bad idea. You may not be healed and chances are you still still be bleeding. 

Post # 14
4827 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

Maybe he has a pregnant woman fetish? Hey, at least you’re married!

Post # 15
830 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@swanks4tw:  As I read through your post, the first thing that came to mind was that maybe he’s freaking out about you becoming a “mother”. Like when that word comes up, it might just conjure up particular images in his mind of something that isn’t you – something matronly, or boring, or not fun or into sex. Maybe that’s why he’s doing all this, in the hopes that when motherhood finally happens to you, that you’re still the fun, wild, awesome you he is afraid of losing. I think he’s scared that motherhood will change you, so he’s overloading on the “crazy” in the hopes that it counterbalances/neutralises your “motherness” (is that even a word?) when your baby is born. It seems like a natural fear to have; I think he just needs to be reassured that you’re still you inside all this – past the “belly” – that yes, things will change, but you’ll always be the same woman he fell in love with.

I hope that makes sense?!


Post # 16
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I agree with PPs.  He sounds like he is afraid of you becoming an ‘all about the baby mother/wife’ – he wants to make sure you will continue to be a sexual wife.  Talk to him, reassure him and ask him to take it down a notch because you have been feeling like a porn star instead of your normal self.

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