Post # 1
Was going to go anon for this, but what the hell… I don’t really care if people associate this with me.
I think my husband is going through something and I’m curious if any of you have been through anything similar. I’m currently 24 weeks pregnant, and although sex was pretty nonexistant in the first trimester, we’ve been at it like bunnies throughout the second trimester. Before we got pregnant we were having a ton of sex too, like 3x a day sometimes. So there was only like 2-3 months or so where we weren’t having sex all the time. I haven’t “let myself go” by any means and I basically look the same as I did before just with extra belly and boobs. He doesn’t complain about my weight or the way I look. He tells me I’m hot and how much he loves my body.
It’s just that lately I feel like he’s trying to turn me into some kind of…porn star? It feels weird to say that because I know he doesn’t even watch porn (I don’t have a problem if he wanted to, he’s just always liked using his imagination more). I noticed a month or so ago that he got really into having anal sex. I used to occasionally do it as kind of a treat but lately he wants a lot of it. He uses a lot more dirty talk than usual too. Another thing I noticed is that he’s suddenly interested in my grooming habits. I’ve always kept things trimmed down there but a few days ago he asked if he could shave it for me. I let him and he really loved it (I really like it too) he keeps talking about how hot my bare pussy is. Then yesterday he said he wanted to treat me to a brazillian wax. He even called and set up an appointment. Now today he says that for my birthday in July (two months after I’m due) he’d like to take me to get my clitoral hood pierced. This was something I mentioned I wanted to do a couple of years ago but hadn’t really thought of in a while. I think the timing would be good, as long as I’ve healed from everything else by then. I mean he’s not pushing anything on me that I don’t want, it just weirds me out that he’s suddenly SO into all of this. He says he can’t wait til his wife has a bare pierced pussy and it just makes me feel like he’s trying to turn me into something else.
Am I overreacting? Did anyone else’s husband act weird when they got closer to having a baby? To anyone wondering, I know he’s not having an affair or anything. Honestly we’re together so much I would feel sorry for his mistress if he was. I also know he’s not watching more porn than usual unless he’s doing it at work which would be weird because I def don’t have any problems with porn. So I’m left thinking that beneath his ready to be a dad, uber-prepared exterior, maybe he’s freaking out about the baby? Maybe he feels like he’s going to lose his wife? Or that I won’t be interested in sex anymore? I don’t want to mention these fears to him yet because I really appreciate him telling me what he wants/likes and I don’t want him to think I’m judging. It just seems weird.
Any thoughts? Either way, thanks for letting me get this out!
Also I didn’t know whether to post this here or in intimate. If it needs to be moved I understand.
Post # 3
I don’t really have any advice. I would be really creeped out if my husband was acting like that/saying those things to me. Some of it (like calling to make the appointment) almost feels controlling.
Post # 4
@MrsTVLover: I know! He’s not controlling though, it’s so weird :S It kinda icks me out but I don’t really know how to express that because it’s not like he’s doing anything against my will or being pushy about it. It just feels weird that these things are coming from him. I’m sure if I told him “no I don’t want to” he wouldn’t push it at all, but it’s not that I don’t want to. It’s just weird.
Post # 5
@swanks4tw: I read somewhere online that one of the most common worries for men having sex with their pregnant partners is that the baby will feel them. Maybe that’s why?
Also, pregnancy can make your nether regions… different. Maybe that’s why he’s suddenly being weird about grooming?
I wouldn’t read too much into it. He’s dealing with a ton of changes, too. He might be worried this is his “last chance” to do some of these things.
Post # 6
It sounds like you kind of hit the nail on the head, that this is about him wanting to make sure he doesn’t lose his wife as a sexual being so he might be going kind of overboard. I think especially with the piercing, it’s kind of like making sure that post-baby the sexual part of your relationship will still be there. Or maybe he just has a pregnancy fetish, I don’t know!
I don’t think that there is anything wrong with asking him about where this is coming from if it is a change from your normal routine. You don’t have to phrase it like it’s a bad thing or that you need to have a big serious talk, but I know that if my husband was suddenly acting very differently in the sex department, I wouldn’t really hesitate to ask where the change came from.
Post # 7
I think it’s pretty normal for anyone to go through some personality shifting as they’re facing a major life change. None of the stuff you wrote about sounds all that disturbing, so I don’t think he’s feeling doubts about being a father. He might just be trying to Have every last bit of passion before he knows your privacy and energy levels as a couple will change. Have you talked to him about it?
Post # 8
He’s your husband, just ask him what’s going on. “Hey babe, love all the extra sexing and attention, but what’s going on? You’ve never been this interested in my junk before.”
Post # 9
It could be for the lots of sex part that he finds you his pregnant wife extremely a huge turn on? I do agree with the PP though sounds like he is worried about losing the sex life after the baby is born also.
Post # 10
@swanks4tw: My initial read on this is maybe he’s worried your sex life is going to suffer/ change for the worse after baby – and so he’s over compensating.
It sounds like you’re pretty comfortable/ open with your sexuality – could you just ask him why the sudden interest in the brazillian/ piercing ect? He may not have a solid answer or maybe he has some thought process that would enlighten you?
Post # 11
@swanks4tw: Maybe he is just scared about how much life is going to change once the baby is here, possibly feeling like he will be old overnight? Or maybe somone told him that your sex life will end/ get boring post baby or a mountain of similar things and he’s puhing boundaries in an effort to stop what he thinks might happen…
Obviously, im not saying those things will happen but I could see a buddy of his or someone he knows saying something stupid and him panicing a bit.
Post # 12
@swanks4tw: Hmm, strange. Sounds like maybe he’s just started to realize something new that turns him on.
Have you talked to him about it, asked where this all is coming from and let him know your concerns?
Post # 13
No ideas besides the idea of getting your nether regions pierced 2 months after baby is a bad idea. You may not be healed and chances are you still still be bleeding.
Post # 14
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
Maybe he has a pregnant woman fetish? Hey, at least you’re married!
Post # 15
@swanks4tw: As I read through your post, the first thing that came to mind was that maybe he’s freaking out about you becoming a “mother”. Like when that word comes up, it might just conjure up particular images in his mind of something that isn’t you – something matronly, or boring, or not fun or into sex. Maybe that’s why he’s doing all this, in the hopes that when motherhood finally happens to you, that you’re still the fun, wild, awesome you he is afraid of losing. I think he’s scared that motherhood will change you, so he’s overloading on the “crazy” in the hopes that it counterbalances/neutralises your “motherness” (is that even a word?) when your baby is born. It seems like a natural fear to have; I think he just needs to be reassured that you’re still you inside all this – past the “belly” – that yes, things will change, but you’ll always be the same woman he fell in love with.
I hope that makes sense?!
Post # 16
I agree with PPs. He sounds like he is afraid of you becoming an ‘all about the baby mother/wife’ – he wants to make sure you will continue to be a sexual wife. Talk to him, reassure him and ask him to take it down a notch because you have been feeling like a porn star instead of your normal self.