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Is my husband invited?

posted 1 year ago in Etiquette
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    1.
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    Buzzing bee
    kjpugs    March 20, 2010   Indianapolis, IN

    I started a new job right before my wedding. My coworker is getting married and gave me the invite by hand and said "sorry I didn't have your address because I got them all before you started" and handed it to me. Only thing? No outer envelope... is my husband invited? The RSVP has spot for two guests to be written in but I don't want to be rude and assume... but also don't want to have to ask (since it is my new job!)

    He knows I'm married, and I'm leaning towards, who would invite anyone without their husband? But just wondering what you all think.

    ps- the wedding is at his MIL's house outdoors. Not that it makes much of a difference but it's not like a banquet hall with strict seating limitations.

     
    2.
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    MissAsB    June 6, 2009   Married in CO, Living in AL

    I would ask him.  But really a married couple should always be invited together.

     
    3.
    Hostess
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    Buzzing bee
    jackie-o    October 31, 2010   Seattle, WA

    I assume that since you are married the invitation is for you and your husband. I have never heard of a wedding invite for one half of the couple only Laughing It seems like a casual wedding if he just handed you the invite, (just assumption, lol)

     
    4.
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    Bumble bee
    Talishazwi    January 16, 2011   Seattle, WA

    If you are concerned I would ask but probably your husband is invited.  This isn't a case where only your name is on the envelope and you are asking. 

     
    5.
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    Honey
    Beekeeper
    ejs4y8    June 20, 2009  

    Well, he's a guy, so he probably didn't even think to clarify. Im sure your husband is invited, so just ask him real quick, "hey i wasn't sure if it's ok if i bring my husband? it's totally cool if not though".

    A guy won't read into it the way a girl will, so just be direct. He wont' think yuou're being rude by asking.

    How nice of them to invite you, being new and all =]

     
    6.
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    Buzzing bee
    kjpugs    March 20, 2010   Indianapolis, IN

    I guess since I'm new and am not all BFF-y with him (my coworkers are all REALLY close, I can tell I will be eventually but obvs it doesn't happen overnight) I feel weird about asking? Like he'll feel like he has to say yes?

     
    7.
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    Busy bee
    MzMarzipan    July 24, 2010   Califonia

    So, the envelope wasn't addressed at all?  Was it just addressed to you?  Did you invite any of these new coworkers to your wedding?

    I would either:

    1) not attend at all

    2) drop him an email and say, "I am looking forward to your wedding and plan on attending; however, it wasn't clear to me from the invitation if my husband was also invited.  Just wanted to clarify before I rsvp."

    I think by emailing it keeps it a little less awkward than asking in person.  And if you let him know you want to go with or without your husband it doesn't put a ton of pressure on him if your husband wasn't invited. 

    What an awkward situation!  

     
    8.
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    Buzzing bee
    kjpugs    March 20, 2010   Indianapolis, IN

    I started there a week before my wedding so none of them were invited. We didn't have a traditional reception either.

    He doesn't have an email. I work for a mall's mall office, and it's me, 3 coworkers, and then 3 operations guys (aka mainteance) so he does maintenance and doesn't have an email.

    WahhhH!

    What if I asked one of my coworkers if their husbands were invited? Do you think that's safe?

     
    9.
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    Busy bee
    MzMarzipan    July 24, 2010   Califonia

    I would mention it to the other coworkers.  But I also really think you should just ask him.  As ejs4y8 said, he is a guy...probably wont freak out if you ask in an easy going way. 

     
    10.
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    Buzzing bee
    Ryansgirl    October 22, 2011   Canada

    I would definitely casually ask him.  What's the worst that could happen?  He'll say no and then you kindly decline.  Which I'm sure is not the case, he probably assumed you would know it's for both of you.

     
    11.
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    Honey bee
    JamaicaBride    May 14, 2011   Charlotte, NC

    Just ask. If the office is as close-knit as you say, I don't think he would be offended at all. You are the newbie there....you don't know how they roll yet. No harm in asking.

     
    12.
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    Busy bee
    VeronicaH    April 24, 2010  

    Spouses are always invited, don't worry about it!

     
    13.
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    Bumble
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    MightySapphire      

    I think since your RSVP card has space for two he gave you a +1.  So if you're choosing to bring your husband, then yes, he's invited.  :-)

     
    14.
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    Busy bee
    MrsJKH2be    October 2010  

    I would ask your other coworkers if their SO's were invited.  I was invited to a cowaorkers wedding at my old job.  No one's spouses/FI/SOs were invited and my supervisor just automatically assumed his wife was invited and brought her - ackward when there was no seat for her!!

     
    15.
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    Blushing bee
    almostarolax    July 10, 2011   Michigan

    i would assume it was for you and your husband.

     
    16.
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    gionnetto    January 11, 2011   Live: Italy, Wedding: Ireland

    what the heck, he is a GUY.... he probably has no clue of the right protocol... LOL Can you ask his fiance instead??

     
    17.
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    Bumble bee
    jenbrandner    Aug 7, 2010   Wisconsin

    If you write both your name and your husband's name on the RSVP, they'll be sure to let you know if there's a problem with that.  The most polite thing to do is to ask him directly if spouses are invited or just his coworkers only (make it a general question like that).

     
    18.
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    Busy bee
    Julialimei    June 2011  

    Even though it is awkward and I would also feel sheepish about asking, I think the best thing to do is probably just to be upfront and ask. Maybe say something like, "I didn't want to make any assumptions, so I just wanted to ask you if my husband is invited to your wedding." Maybe not the best wording, but I think once you know for sure, you'll feel better :-)

     
    19.
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    Bumble bee
    shaydenise    October 30, 2010  

    Because proper etiquette is that you HAVE to invite husbands and wives together, I would write in your husbands name.

     
    20.
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    Busy
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    moderndaisy    June 2010  

    If I were you, I would probably decline the invitation altogether. YOu don't know him that well and it might be awkward if you go. Especially since he didn't tell you if your husband is invited.

    If you want to still go, that's fine obviously but in that case I would totally just write in my husbands name and mention it to him when you turn it in. Like "Hi joe, here is myRSVP, thanks again for inviting me! I wrote in my husbands name for you, I am assuming he was invited as well?"

     

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