Is my mom right in wanting me to invite a particular friend of hers?

posted 2 years ago in Family
  • poll: What should I do?
    Tell my mom this woman can't come : (37 votes)
    93 %
    Suck it up and invite the woman : (3 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    1298 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    titianjenn:  I think it would be one thing if it were a random friend of hers. But you clearly have strong dislike for this person, so I would express that to your mom and say that you would rather her not be at your wedding. 

    Post # 3
    Member
    21 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    Absolutely not.  You should be surrounded by love on your wedding day.  Imagine walking down the aisle and catching a glimpse of her face…. Will seeing her make you happy? Obviously not.  Especially since you don’t have a family reason to have her there (ie you are not being rude by not inviting her) there any reason in the world to have her there.  

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by  Shirz.
    Post # 4
    Member
    7197 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I was going to say “suck it up and invite her” until I read about your experience of her. No way Jose’.

    If it helps, tell your mother how she treated you, and tell her she’s more than welcome to tell the woman that it was your decision not to invite her.

    Post # 5
    Member
    739 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    titianjenn:  Her attendance will not affect you or your day in a positive way, so the answer is no, she should not be invited. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    721 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    She sounds awful and I don’t think you should invite her. Having said that, if your mother insists the good news is that you probably won’t notice her anyway. There were several people at my wedding that I didn’t want invited and was afraid would make a scene, but they showed up, sat quietly and I didn’t exchange more than five words with them or notice them around at all.

    Post # 7
    Member
    499 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Does your mom have any idea how verbally abusive and physically controlling this woman was to you?  If she does good riddance to your mom too.  Who needs family like that?

    Post # 9
    Member
    499 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    You need to put your foot down before you are submissive enough in the future to do something like leave your mom with your future kids and have this woman around.  

    “Mom, I respect your decsision to remain friends with X.  However,  as you are well aware she verbally abused me through many years of my childhood and I will not have her at my wedding.  It dosn’t matter if you feel she was not abusive, to me it was, and I hope you see why I would not want that influence around me”

    Post # 11
    Member
    1244 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    The awesome thing about growing up is that we don’t have to put up with people just because our parents say so. Definitely don’t invite this lady.

    Post # 12
    Member
    620 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    titianjenn:  definitely do not feel obligated to invite her. We are having a small wedding of about 60 people and we decided to only invite the exact people we wanted there.

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