(Closed) Is my new husband suffering with depression?

posted 6 years ago in Wellness
Post # 3
Member
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Have him take a mood sceening test. Alot of local colleges will have them for free or very cheep. Both of you should go get marital councleing.

I am not qualified to say, I olny have my bacholaors, but it sounds like depression to me.  Get him help, and stay strong dear.

Post # 4
Member
3369 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I’m so sorry your family is going through this.  What you’ve described does sound like depression, although the lying for some reason made me wonder if drugs could be an issue.  What other changes have occured recently?

Post # 5
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I was wondering about drugs as well.  It’s a possibility right next to depression.  I’m terribly sorry that you’re going through this right now.  I wish you the best of luck.  I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now.

Post # 6
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

THis is horrible. I’m so sad for you. I just don’t know how I can possibly answer your thread question. There’s not enough information.

  • Is there a history of depression in his family?
  • How was your relationship before you got married?
  • Are there other troubles? Like financial ones?
  • Have you searched his clothing pockets for pills/prescriptions?
  • What do his best friends think of this?
  • There must be a reason he is losing weight.
  • Could he be ill? (God forbid, Cancer?) and is afraid to tell you?
  • Can his parents not get to the bottom of this this for you?
  • Have you spoken with his boss to see if his performance at work is suffering?

I went to see and saw your wedding pictures and they are amazing and you both look happy. As his wife, do not give up on him. Snoop, call people and see if there is missing money at regular intervals from your bank account. Tell him you love him and will never leave him and that if he dosen’t love you anymore, he will have to be the one to leave, but you are still not giving up on him until he speaks truths to you.

Post # 7
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’m so sorry! That is awful and heartbreaking for you I’m sure. I would suggest that your husband go see someone on his own and then that you go together. You’ve got to get to the root of the problem, but he clearly has his own issues to deal with that may be better dealt with alone than with you in a session. Relationships have their ups and downs and Im hoping for you that this is just one of those rut times.

Post # 8
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m really sorry you’re going through this:( Depression sucks for everyoone involved nd it sounds like your DH is suffering from it. I agree with other pp’s and take him to the doctor and to see a counselor.

Post # 11
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@britpopbabyx: Well, it seems like the only thing I had suspicions about rings true with you is money issues. Could he be gambling? If he is gambling or doing drugs (and that’s where the money is going), it becomes a vicious cycle of abuse and that is why he is depressed, shutting you out. He might be embarrased to turn to the one he loves (you).  I hate to go to this extreme but have you considered having him followed? If he says he is at work but is actually at the casino or a seedy pub, you might have your answer quicker than you thought. I’m sincerely hoping it all works out for the best.

Post # 12
Member
3369 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@britpopbabyx: Depression is a tricky monster… my family went through hell with me in the worst of it.  Whatever gets him to the first appt is a step in the right direction.  He might more easily admit a problem to the dr.  If it’s like you say and he doesn’t have the coping mechanisms, then it makes sense that he would fall apart in the midst of so many new challenges.  For some of us, the worse of “for better or worse” comes sooner than we’d thought… hang in there…

Post # 14
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@britpopbabyx: Weird. I was just thinking about you! I’m just letting him walk all over me.

The first thing you do is stop letting him walk all over you. I don’t know your communication style, but if it’s unlike you to nag and scream, do it anyway! he’s been completely out of character, so why not you? What I mean by nag and scream is, sit him down and ask the tough questions: “Why did we get married?” “Is it really over now?”

If he can honestly and truly answer that it is over now and the wedding was a mistake, as horrible as it is, you have to move on but remember it’s nothing you did wrong.

You can’t help him if he refuses to see a doctor. You can, however, be good to yourself. This is horrible. I’m so sorry.

Post # 15
Member
9825 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

As someone who has suffered with depression for over 10 years, it definitely sounds like he’s checking out. And I’m not entirely sure it’s just depression that’s causing this.

It sounds like he has gotten himself into some trouble, maybe financially, maybe gambling, maybe spending money on someone he shouldn’t have. Could there be a lawsuit or anything at all that you don’t know about? It sounds very likely.

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