Post # 1
My sister and her guy have called off their “wedding”. but I think they are actually already married. They went to the JP 4 weeks ago, but they say they have not “consumated”! It is a really big deal to my parents to have a wedding, not just a JP, but legally they are married already. But part of the “wedding” was waiting til afterwards then to have sex. Of course I am not SURE they really have not! But they are trying to get an annulment, the problem is to me, I think it’s actually a divorce. I think that if they HAVE had sex it’s definitely a divorce, I’m just trying to see what everyone thinks that if they HAVENT, is it still a divorce, from the spiritual side? They said their vows before the JP, what do you think? Are they married?!?!
Post # 3
I think your sister is going through a really hard time right now and you should just be there for her and be supportive and not be so concerned with her sex life or lack there-of (as I don’t believe it is any of yours or your family’s business).
Post # 4
I know nothing about the Catholic church, but whether or not your sister had sex does not mean she isn’t married. She is in fact legally married. I don’t know the terms of getting an anullment, but she probably will be able to – again, regardless of having sex.
why exactly is this of your concern anyways?
Post # 6
Her having sex has nothing to do with being married, If they went to the JP then they are married. She can file for an annulment if they meet the standards for one. If I were your sister I’d be beyond pissed that you are so worried about what I’m doing with my vagina while I am going through an extremely difficult time.
Post # 7
@CorgiTales: <– what she said.
Post # 8
Look if they were not married in the church then they only need to go through the legality I think. unless the church has blessed the union. As for the sex if they did consumate the marriage yet it was outsie the church I think it is still a legal thing. This is her problem though not yours,she needs to talk with the priest and then she can do whatever she needs to to end the JP marriage.
Post # 9
Divorce is not allowed in our church. The only thing that they MAY be able to hang on is that they haven’t consumated. I really feel for my sister, I think she has been foolish, but I love her deeply, and can’t stand what her choice is doing to our family! If she gets a divorce she can never remarry and she is only 25!
I don’t appreciate the “sex is none of your business” SHE has made it my business by doing it this way, I would never want to know her intimate details. Sex in marriage is healthy and fun and you should have freedom to do whatever you and your husband like. If she HAS had sex than it is within marriage (since they have gone to the JP). So I’m not against the sex at all, it’s divorce I’m worried about!
Post # 10
She can get married AND divorced as many times as she likes…because marriage is a legal contract.
Post # 12
Let her live her life- if she sleeps with someone, it’s her business. If she DID get married and is no longer happy/regrets it/whatever, that is her business. As her sister, you should be nothing but supportive of her during this difficult time. She doesn’t need her family to criticize and isolate her, I’m sure she has plenty on her mind as it is.
Post # 13
you can get an anulment after consumation. my friend’s stepfather had one and he had 2 children with his first wife.
but i agree- myob.
Post # 14
If not having sex magically meant that people weren’t legally married, there would be a loooooooot of couples out there with invalid marriages.
Post # 15
@Thriftydomestica: What church do you belong to? That would impact my answer
Post # 16
Her whole entire relationship is none of your business unless she asks for your advice/confides in you.
Let it go.