Post # 1
I thought wedding planning would be fun…but so far I fell more like a pain in everyone’s arse than a blushing bride. It’s been beyond stressful, and I don’t get much help from anyone. I ask my family or bridesmaids and they kinda just tell me to wait and the will help me later. I took a trip down to where the wedding is going to take place (it’s coming up in 8 months) to try and take care of some of the details and my family down there was helpful (in mexico) but they seemed very focused on helping me get to different appointments, and I couldn’t tell if they were actually happy to help or what. I couldn’t evade thoughts that no one wants to deal with this.
1. I feel like no one gives a ish.
2. I’m not fluent in spanish though i’ve studied it independently for many years, and i’m nervous I’ll miss something the DJ says or the priest says..scared to death i’ll embarrass myself. I wish I had more time to study spanish but I’m strapped with a full time college schedule which doesn’t allow time for it.
3. I am completley and undoubtedly incapable…INCAPABLE of putting together a cohesive color scheme. I couldn’t commit to any color. Either people didn’t like my ideas or I couldn’t find what I thought I wanted or got really confused at how I would make it work if I found something close. Im afraid what I do settle on will look aweful, hideous, rediculous.
4. I spent 4 hours crying over wedding invitations yesterday. I need them ins panish and english and it’s costing me a fortune and I can’t seem to settle on any I like because of the color problems. I’m worried no one will come if I dont send them out soon. I did send out save the dates 4 months ago however.
5. I feel like my mother hates my dress since the day I tried it on for her. It’s sitting at the store on layaway and has been for months now. and It’s starting to make me doubt it. I keep telling myself when I put it back on a month before the wedding I will be able to tell those voices to stop….but I can’t help but obsess over pictures of me in it and worry that I’ll look rediculous. I keep telling myself if I put it on and I hate it, that it’s not the end of the world…either i just endure what I signed up for or ask to exchange for a sample or something.
I just feel like i have so much on my mind and I juts want this whole thing to be over with. I want to just be married and done with all this. it’s too late to elope unfortunatly.
sorry for the vent.
Post # 3
sorry you’re feeling so stressed; it tough to plan a wedding at all, let alone in another country and another language. do you maybe have a bilingual friend who’d be willing to help? to go over the ceremony, teach you key wedding words/phrases, and maybe even make/sit in on a few phone calls with vendors? feel free to post your color ideas; maybe we can help find pictures/inspiration boards that tie everything together. also, i’m sure your mother will love your dress when she sees you in it on your big day. maybe she just has trouble expressing herself, or doesn’t see the big picture yet. at this point, try and delegate anything you can/are willing to. even if your family isn’t volunteering to do more than shuttle you around, if you ask them to do a specific project/task, i’m sure they’ll step up. good luck!
Post # 4
Thanks. I think I’ll be okay with the ceremony, I have been watching telnovelas and doing the rosetta stone non-stop for two years, since I got engaged. We also have a semi-bilingual priest. I think I’m more worried about the reception. I do speak spanish, just not fluently and I guess I just can’t help but think of all that could go wrong.
My mom’s the kind of person who you can tell what she’s thinking…and even kind of says it in her own way without really saying it…it’s hard to get her to come around on things.
as for colors…I will post some ideas. So far I feel like i’m leading myself down the easy road…ive picked white/ivory on everything with blush and crystal accents. I hope it doesn’t look like a snow beast threw up everywhere.
I guess I do worry myself with what others think, in my everyday life I could give a hoot but for some reason it’s getting to me alot.
Post # 5
It seems to me you’re going through what most brides experience at some point or another: being stuck between what you want and what those around you may think is best. I have allowed myself to be there so many times through the last year and with seven weeks until our wedding, if I could change one thing about our engagement, it would be to get those hours, days, weeks back. Like you, I was very concerned with what others would think/say/want (there’s no rule book to a wedding – the options are totally overwhelming!) In the end, it is hard, but you have to accept that no one cares about ANY part of your wedding more than you and your Fiance do. That’s scary, but it’s also a good prep for your life together, right? Freedom!
It will all work out, really. I still haven’t 100% decided on colors (to use yellow with the navy and green or to not?) – it’s actually been a blessing for our florist! Do what you like and when something makes you cry, put it away, talk to someone who listens and come back to it when you’re ready. Somehow, it all will get done and you’ll be stronger for the tears. 🙂
Post # 6
Everything is going to be FINE!! *Breathe*
BTW- your dress is droolworthy and so so beautiful!!
Post # 7
I am in Malaysia and my fiance is in the US. He’s coming here in June to help plan the wedding which will take place in July here in Malaysia. Most of the stuff, I’d have to do it on my own, with the help of my mom and sisters. My fiance will help of course, but we decided he can plan the honeymoon and do the heavylifting once he is here.
I haven’t done anything except got his suit tailored. I am freaking out and worried all our plans will not work out and that the day will end up being terrible.
BUT at the same time I am confident and know that things will be okay. I am marrying this person I love and soon we will be able to have our lives together, no longer living 12000 miles away from each other.
Just talk to someone you trust and tell your fiance how you feel. Maybe he can help more or he just doesn’t realise how stressed out you are. My fiance sometimes does that; he thinks it’s not a big deal and I am just making a big deal out of nothing (most times its true hehe) usually in our moments of stress, we don’t realise that a problem can be settled and that things will be okay.
Choose a colour that both of you like. Stick to it. Focus on one thing at a time. I am very indecisive and am always changing my mind but this time, we are gonna have to change that since it won’t help and will just make me freak out more!
Take a huge deep breath and calm down. It will be okay. hugs from malaysia!
Post # 8
First of all… B-R-E-A-T-H-E !!!!! Many brides get stressed while planning their wedding (Lord knows I did). There are so many choices for everything. It’s normal to question or second guess any choices, your invitations, the dress, the food, etc but know, for as much and you might go back and forth you DO have to make a final decision on them.
Post pictures of your color scheme, your dress and anything else you may need unbiased opinions on, that’s what we’re here for. Unfortunately I can’t help you with the spanish issue, all I know is “¿Dónde está el baño?”. Haha!!! Don’t worry about talking to your guests in spanish, they’re there for you and your husband, they care about you two. If you at least try they’ll appreciate that and love you even more.
You’ll never be able to please anyone at anytime. If you and your Fiance love it and want it (anything), it’s your wedding and you can do whatever you want. It won’t look ridiculous if you take your time, ask for imput and then make a decision. It will only look ridiculous if you rush or make quick decisions without thinking it through.
Don’t worry, the stress will be gone the day is over. You and your husband will have beautiful pictures to look at for years to come and you’ll have a new life to begin.
You said you’re getting married in 8 months? Isn’t January 2012 this month? I’m a bit confused.
Post # 9
Thanks everyone…I meant July 2012 is the wedding date. I’ve sorta calmed down since this post…at least for now. I am always getting cold feet about my descisions, but I’m trying not to panick. I recently just registered for bridesmaids dresses in a dusty rose color. But ofcourse I have nagging thoughts about it..loved the color, but the only dress they had it in was satin, but the dresses we wanted to get are chiffon, so i’m worried it will look different in chiffon….then I wonder if I chose the right dress for the girls. As you can see i have this disease of overthinking right now and I have activley to find ways to make myself stop. =/ It’s not easy…fiance’ is working two jobs right now and doesn’t have time to help me, though he’s always doing what he can to calm me down.