Is not having a registry or wanting/expecting gifts rude?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should we make a small registry?
    Yes : (2 votes)
    10 %
    No : (18 votes)
    90 %
    Other, please explain : (0 votes)
  • Post # 2
    8678 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    We had a very small registry purely for this reason.<br /><br />You could always toss a handful of stuff in an Amazon registry. That makes it easy for people.

    Post # 3
    535 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I was wondering about that too. FI and I dont need any housewares or anything. A donation to our honeymoon fun would be practical and greatly appreciated, but I know I cant exactly put that on the invitation.  So I guess we just wont register and see what happens

    Post # 4
    1737 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2014 - 13th ~ TN

    mtom:  LOL! This is eactly my point on another bees post asking if it is rude to have a shower before a DW. Some people will get you something no matter what. Make a small registry for them.

    Post # 5
    63 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    We’ve asked our guests to please just join us, no gifts needed, and then they can donate to a charity if they want to mark the occasion. But there were still a few people who insisted that we HAD to have a registry, so I made an Amazon one and gave the link just to my mom — with the instructions to tell people that we really do NOT need anything.


    msfreemis:  Good for you for being polite about it! We just had friends send an email (from the bride) saying that they don’t need anything, but they directed guests to a honeymoon funding page that had no activities/experiences…just a place to enter a dollar amount.



    Post # 6
    1441 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    mtom:  We are having a “regular” (non-destination) wedding with guests and we are not registering.  People can deal.  I’d rather not get any gifts so I’m not going to make up a list.  If people feel compelled to buy us something, that is certainly nice but I’d rather they didn’t so no registry.  We haven’t sent out invitations yet so I haven’t had the issue come up, but I hope we don’t get flak.

    Post # 7
    1108 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    We were married in March and had a 65 guest wedding. We never registered and let it know through word of mouth that gifts were not necessary because we plan on moving a fair distance in a few short months and shipping costs would be expensive enough. We ended up getting a bunch of gift cards and cash and no one complained.

    It isn’t rude to not register. But I do think it’s rude to tell a bride her decision to not register was difficult on guests.

    Post # 8
    2831 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    it’s not rude. if you don’t want to register? don’t register.

    we attended a DW earlier in the year. the bride and groom didn’t register, because they’re moving to hawaii for grad school, and won’t be able to bring tons and tons of stuff with them. my mother, however, refused to go without a gift. and cross stitched them a wallhanging. not a big deal, not a big present. but she did it anyway, and the couple was thrilled.

    Post # 9
    1840 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    mtom:  It’s not rude at all! However, be prepared for people to still show up with gifts, I for one would never show up to a wedding empty-handed. Hopefully you don’t end up with a bunch of stuff you don’t want/need.

    Post # 10
    1057 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I don’t think it’s rude, if the couple doesn’t need any gift, then why force them? 

    me and FI are not planning to have a registry, we tried but we really don’t need anything… 

    If there is something that I would appreciated, it would be honeymoon fund but I don’t think it’s right to do so… 

    I would like to receive cash as gift on my big day but I’m not expecting at all… if it turn out we have to cover everything, then we just have to suck it up.  That’s just life 

    Post # 11
    858 posts
    Busy bee

    I dont think its rude, but for people that really want to buy you two a gift, I maybe would. However, if people are that adoment on getting a gift, I dont see a problem with gift certs. I personally prefer buying gift certs!

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