- 8 years ago
- Wedding: June 2010
So long story sort of short: I come from a very conservative family in which everyone belongs to a very fundamentalist sect of Christianity. This denomination doesn’t believe in drinking alcohol or dancing, among other things. I, myself, do not adhere to this religion, and my parents are religious but much more lax than my extended family. FI’s family is pretty nonreligious.
We decided to have a morning wedding and brunch reception in part because I love the idea of brunch, and having time to take pictures after the wedding so we don’t need to do a first look, but also because that way we could have an “after party”. I really didn’t want to have an evening reception with no drinking or dancing. Even though we could do it that way and it would be nice and we will still be married no matter what, it just seemed boring, especially for FI and his family.
So our brunch reception will be from 11am-2pm and our after party will be from 7:30pm-11(ish)pm. It’s not really a reception, its just a gathering for people to celebrate “adultly”. We purposely are having this celebration separate so my religious family members can in good conscience attend our entire reception earlier in the day.
However, this seems to still be ruffling feathers. My mom “broke the news” about our after party to some family members, including my grandparents, and they were all offended that we will be condoning drinking — the dancing was a lesser issue. Now I’m feeling like it was a bad idea altogether and we should just scrap it, because my family can be judgmental and gossipy, and the last thing I want is for them to spend my wedding talking about this sinful party we have planned.
I would seriously scrap it and tell them, “You’re right, its a bad idea,” and just have my awesome brunch reception, except that FI is REALLY looking forward to this. My mom said she thinks it would be unfair to take the one thing that he really wants away from him — and this is HER family that is acting this way, so if anyone would want to call the after party off, it would be her.
What do you think? Should I just try to not care what they think, and if they gossip, so what? Or is an after party not really worth all the judgment?